My Life in Words

The Turning of the Seasons

2011-11-14T06:30:00.000-08:00

I seem to have skipped October.

Well, not surprisingly, it was a busy month. We are well settled into our school and work routines. Summer seems almost like a distant memory, although the flowers that continue to bloom on my front path would beg to differ. I know that I should pull them out before it snows and turns into a big, mushy mess, but the colour is so nice to see in a world that is growing increasingly brown and grey. Except our grass. It is still as green as anything, which makes me both happy and confused. After four years, I still find myself perplexed by a province where the seasons really do last 3 months each.

A week before Hallowe'en my grandma died. It was sudden/not sudden, in that she was 93 and we knew she was starting to fail. But in the end it was quicker than we had all thought, so even though it was expected it was still a bit of a shock. I flew home to be with my family, and we buried both my Grandma and my Granddad (who died a few years ago). We buried them together, in the little cemetery in the small prairie town where they had lived for most of their married life, and in the case of my Grandfather, the town where he was born and raised. We have a tiny family, so we had the service at the little stone chapel in the cemetery. Only my cousin in Japan couldn't make it, so almost the whole family was together again. In the end, it was the best tribute we could give to a couple who were quiet and private during their lifetime. My brother and I were the urn bearers, and I chose to carry my Granddad, because I knew that if I tripped and went flying, he would have found the humour in it. Every other funeral I have attended, it was my Granddad who was making jokes and lightening the mood considerably. I wondered who would take over from him, and discovered that it was me, although all of us have been blessed with a good sense of humour. So it was a solemn tribute, but really a celebration of two lives well lived. And although I will miss them both very much, I am glad to know that they are once again reunited.

So now the skies are turning gloomy, and the mornings are getting chilly. We have rain and snow in the forecast this week. Thoughts are turning to making the house cozy and warm to keep out the winter's chill. One season is ending and another is beginning.

Duathlons, Camping and Birthdays, oh my!

2011-09-26T11:28:00.000-07:00

Last weekend my son participated in his very first duathlon. We woke up at 5:30am to start our drive to the park it was being held in. We arrived around 7am to discover that we were one of the first to arrive. (We weren't sure how long the drive wold take, and he had to pick up his race kit). All summer my son had been practicing for this day. He was supposed to run 250m, bike 1km and the run 500m. When we got there we discovered that he was actually in the next age group up (this is where the New Year's Eve birthday can get tricky, although I usually can manage just fine). He was instead signed up to run 500m, bike 3k and then run 1km. I was worried for him, and didn't know if he could do it, as it was more than twice what he had been practicing. He was completely unfazed by the situation and said he'd be fine.

It was a gorgeous crisp and clear fall day when he set out on the first part of the run. He got into the transition zone in about 5th or 6th place, but then had trouble getting his helmet on, which led to him being almost last out on his bike. He made up some time and then hauled butt for the 1km run. He ended up finishing 7th in his heat and middle of the pack overall. I thought that was pretty awesome for his first time out, especially seeing as he hadn't practiced the distance, and he thought so too. He was ecstatic, and he can't wait for the next one. It's really fun seeing him discover something that is fun and that he gets satisfaction from doing.

This past weekend my daughter went camping with Girl Guides. The weekend started with the girls setting up their tents in the pitch black night in a field that had been rained on all day. They were pretty tired and worn out, but apparently a hot snack before bed rejuvenated everyone's spirits and they all slept soundly in their tents. The next day my daughter met some of the 400 other girls from around the province that were camping there that weekend. She also climbed to the top of an old silo, completed a high ropes course, did archery, zip-lined during her free time and made a camp pillow. She helped with cooking and cleaning. She and her friends played Mission Impossible in the dark with flashlights. They snuggled up in their tents at night and I assume they giggled. The weather co-operated and they all had a wonderful time. I love that Guides gives my daughter a chance to see what she can accomplish in a supportive, challenging environment. It is great to see her confidence grow. She is so much braver than I was at her age.

This morning I woke up and that same amazing daughter had turned 10. It's her birthday today and she is happy to finally be at 'double-digits.' Today I made a cake for her while she was at school. She brought cookies for her classmates. When we walked up the sidewalk towards school her friends ran down it yelling happy birthday. I love seeing the person she is becoming.

Salsa and Shoes

2011-09-12T06:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was salsa day here. My husband and I made 34 1/2 pints of salsa. It took us pretty much the whole day, but the knowledge that we now have salsa for the year, plus lots to give to friends and family makes the work well worth it. This was the first year that we made a double batch, and it was also the first time that my husband helped me make it. Usually he is on kid duty during salsa day, but with the kids older and able to entertain themselves, and the fact that I had a bushel of tomatoes, a bushel of peppers and a half bushel of onions to chop up, he joined me in our tiny kitchen and started chopping. It was great to have the help, and we had so much fun hanging out together and cooking. Our kitchen is so small that it really is a one person kitchen, and we often say that the only other person we could have in there at the same time is each other. Anyone else would drive us crazy.

Today I am going to try and buy myself some new casual shoes. I tend to wear my shoes until they physically hurt my feet, which is the place I am at now with my current shoes. They are just so uncomfortable. I know that I should replace my shoes more often, but, like with a lot of things, I tend to forget myself. I need to get a haircut, I need to see my doctor about my knee, etc. For some reason, though, I just have a hard time scheduling time for myself. Between running the house, errands and volunteering, I often forget that I need to take care of myself, too. I don't know why that is, but I suspect that I am not alone. My goal today is to buy some shoes that don't hurt, and schedule a haircut, too.

Tonight is also the first parent council meeting. I am looking forward to it, but also I'm a bit wary because there are some not very nice women on the council, and they don't take kindly to newcomers. I imagine that this is the same of councils, parent or otherwise, the world over, but it is still annoying. I am not a confrontational person, and have no desire to confront anyone anyway, but I will have to find a way to voice my opinions. I find it frustrating when there are people on the council that only speak up in order to shoot down other people's ideas, but they never come up with solutions or ideas of their own.

Tomorrow I am back at the Red Cross, which I am looking forward too. I really like the people that work there, and I love helping people get what they need, whether it is a hot meal every day or a wheelchair while they recover from an injury. It is amazing that something that may seem very small to me can be enormous for someone else. I like being a part of making someone's day a little easier.

Well, that's it for now, or I will talk myself out of buying shoes today. Wish me luck!

First Day!

2011-09-06T07:26:00.001-07:00

Today is the first day of school.Yesterday, my daughter was talking to my husband and mentioned him walking to school with us. He made some phone calls to work and was able to take a couple of hours off this morning, so that he could be with us. I love that he was able to that, and more importantly knew how important it was to the kids that he be there with them.

We woke up this morning and it was only 10*C out. It felt like a cold, fall day, which I guess is a better way to go off to school than on a hot sunny day. It felt like school time. The kids were wearing their new outfits, covered up by their coziest old sweaters. We left a bit early, and my son held my hand for almost the whole walk. With him being a big Grade 3er now, I wasn't sure I'd get any public affection anymore, so it was really nice. Plus, he warmed up my hand!

We got to the school and the kids were anxious to find their name on the school wall. At our school, no one knows whose class they're in until the first morning. The class lists are posted outside the gym wall. Both my son and daughter were happy with their teachers, and they both also have several friends in their class, so everyone went off into the school happy and excited.

The first day of school is fun for the parents, too. We all get to see each other after a summer of trips and family time. It's nice to reconnect and see how everyone is doing. Each year, I am amazed at how we know more and more people. It makes me realize that we really are a part of the community. This is our home, and almost everyone is familiar to us now. I'm glad we are here, and I'm glad the kids are in such a great school.

And now, just when the house is quiet and empty, my life will be gearing up again, too. Today I am off to accomplish errands. I also start back volunteering where my old job was this week. I'm there every two weeks for a morning. I want to keep my "name in the news" in case another contract comes available. There isn't likely a chance of that happening for quite awhile, but I also like keeping my hand in the archives, as well as helping out my old boss. As most archivists know, there is often too much work, not enough archivists, and even less money, so I like to help out. I'm also starting back at the Red Cross next week. I work there once a week, manning the phones, etc. It's a great gig, and I really like the people that I work with there.

At the end of the school year last spring, I joined the Parent Council at the school. There is a bit of an "old guard" there, so a few of us want to shake things up a bit and bring some new ideas to the table. So far we have mostly been warmly received, although there are some who are suspicious of our motives. Our only motive is to make the school the best place it can be for the students and the environment around it, so I'm not sure why they're so worried! I'm not huge with conflict, so hopefully everyone gets along and we can accomplish lots of projects.

On that note, I better go and start my errands. It's been over two months since I went solo on things like grocery shopping, so I imagine I'll be able to get everything done quickly. I'll miss my sidekicks, though. Maybe I better make them some cookies for when they get home. :)

Going Down to the Creek

2011-08-30T11:06:00.000-07:00

The kids are currently constructing a dam and bridge down at our dried up creek. Usually it is a swift, if shallow, stream, but these hottest days of summer tend to dry it up to barely a trickle. Other, bigger, kids have partly taken apart an old farm fence in the green space. Over the years dozens of variations of water spanning devices have been built and taken apart and rebuilt. The creek is the ebb and flow of childhood imagination.

Our kids are only just big enough this year that we have let them go to the creek unsupervised. They are attached to me by walkie-talkie, so we can be in immediate contact if they need me or I need them. It is hard, I'm discovering, letting them grow into who they need to become. To me they still seem so small, but in reality, it is only a few short years until they are ready to leave us for even bigger adventures. It is up to my husband and I to make sure that they are prepared for the world and what it has to offer them and they to it. I know they need the time away to explore, imagine and gain independence without me there hovering. They love the freedom, and they respect the rules that we have laid out in order for them to continue having it. I know they are okay, but oh, the letting go is harder than I thought it would be.

We have had a wonderful summer. I am so glad that I was home the whole time with them. We spent time up at my in-laws cabin, a wonderful rustic place in the North that is one of my favourite places to be. The kids can run free. We boat, swim, hike, canoe, berry pick, have campfires and cookouts, read, and relax. There is always something or nothing to do up there, depending on what you want to be doing. I am so happy that we were able to go, and wish we could sneak in one more trip before it is closed for the winter.

We also made a trip back to our old home. We visited family and friends and had a wonderful time catching up. Despite the wonderful friends I have made in the four years we have lived here, there is something special about spending time with friends who have known me since I was 12. They've known me through the awkwardness of the teen years, the adolescent mistakes I made, and watched me become the person I am today. Laughter is easy and frequent with our group, and it was so nice to catch up.

I was hoping to do more hikes and day trips with the kids, but we were so busy with the cottage and the trip back home that often on our days at home we all just wanted to hibernate and regroup. Today, as I mentioned, they are exploring at the creek. In a couple of days I might take them to the beach for one last crack at summer before we settle down to school and routine. The kids spent many of our at home days down at the pond or the creek, catching frogs and turtles and just being kids. I don't ever want them to become over-extended, rushing from activity to activity. They need time to get grubby and be with each other and have adventures.

I want them to remember the fun of childhood, the lazy hazy days of summer, the popsicles and Koolaid, the being outside for hours and the playing in creeks and ponds. I don't need them to be ballerinas or hockey players or rock stars or actors. I want them to be grounded in the world around them, to be able to see that they are a part of a whole.

But first, I want them to be kids for a little bit longer.

Breathe, Just Breathe

2011-02-17T06:25:00.001-08:00

I did really have good intentions to update more frequently, but wow, have I ever been sick the past few weeks. My daughter and I both ended up at the Dr. with bad coughs, were diagnosed with bronchitis, and sent on our merry way with antibiotics. This, of course, coincided with my husband going away on a trip to a different country for a week.

After we started the antibiotics, my daughter started to get better, and I started to get worse. My asthma, something that hasn't been an issue for over 20 years, flared up in force, leaving me barely able to breathe. I would unload the dishwasher and then have to sit down for an hour because I was so out of breath. It was very worrisome, and having to tell my 9 year old daughter the emergency protocols was really hard, but it was to the point where I really thought I was going to have to be taken to the hospital.

Not being able to breathe is terrifying. Think about needing to take a huge breath, only to discover that you can only get about 1/4 as much air as you need in. And if you panic, it gets much worse. I was struggling with every breath, yet I had to remain zen about it and not panic or it would have been worse. Looking back on it now, I really should have gone to the emergency.

After a week or so on antibiotics, and feeling no better, I went back to the Dr. It turns out that, despite being on antibiotics, I had managed to develop pneumonia. This time I was given very strong antibiotics. I went home, and while my chest cleared up within a few days, the side effects were troublesome to the point where I had to tell my Dr. that I wouldn't take it anymore. The drug I was on attacks the central nervous system in some people, and it made my hands and feet numb, and my joints and calves sore and achy. When I looked it up and realized that it could also cause "spontaneous tendon ruptures" I decided to get something less fearsome. Today I had my last dose of the new medicine, and I finally feel a part of the world again.

As you can see then, I wasn't just neglecting my blog, I was neglecting everything. My only goal for two weeks was to sit and breathe. I am still trying to take it a bit easy, and next Tuesday is my goal for starting to get back to the real world a bit more. My daughter, I should add, managed to recover on just the initial dose of meds., so that was a relief.

I always find February to be horrible. Everyone is sick or about to be sick or just recovering from being sick. As much as I feel like this winter has been too short and we need a few more months of the white stuff, part of me is looking forward to the snow being gone in a few weeks and everyone getting healthy again.

To Work or Not to Work, That is the Question

2011-01-21T10:39:00.000-08:00

I just sent off the archives proposal for the church here in town. I gave them a couple of options, ranging from 6-45 days of work. Now I will wait and see if they want more meeting with me or what option they want to proceed with.

I am feeling a bit conflicted. On the one hand, with the profession being the way it is (not many positions to be found), I feel like I need to get while the getting is good. I shouldn't be turning down any offers of work, because I never know when there will be another one. I should be accepting contracts and networking and getting my face and name known, so that there will always be options open for me when I want to work. I like working with archival records, the church work will be interesting, and the people seem really friendly. As well, getting paid to do something I enjoy is always a nice bonus.

On the other hand, I am not really feeling up to putting in too many hours at a job right this second. I just worked full time for 8 months with no benefits (i.e. vacation days). I had a total of 3 days off in 8 months, and that was because I worked longer hours on the other days in order to bank the hours. My life suffered because all I was doing was working or kid/house stuff. There was little me time (I don' t need a lot, but sometimes I want to spend an afternoon reading a book, you know?) I was looking forward to having some time off to get the house in order (we want to do some major renovations in the basement soon, as well as redo the bathrooms at some point.) and to get me in order. I had a bunch of places lined up for volunteer work. If the church accepts the biggest proposal, and I am only working 15 hours per week at it, it will take me five months to finish the work. That takes us all the way until June, which seems like a big commitment. The problem lies in that the kids are only in school for 6 hours per day, so by the time I drop them off and drive to the church, I only have about 5 hours of time to work. I've already committed to the Red Cross one morning a week, and then I work at the school the rest of that day, so I only have four days a week to work. If I work every day, then I am back to elbowing my way through the mobs at the grocery store on the weekends, and having no time for me.

One thing that I have really enjoyed about being home these past few weeks is walking to school with my kids. The colder the better seems to work for me. I hate it when it is about -5*C here, because it is so damp. The cold just goes right to my bones. But it was -20 the other morning, and it was so much more pleasant walking! The humidity was down, and it was just cold and clear. Perfect. I guess I really am a prairie girl. (That's not to say that I wouldn't enjoy +20 even more!) I like getting some exercise and spending time with my kids.

I will do this archives contract, because I have said that I will and the work will be interesting. I will also do it well, because I'm not a half-way kind of person (even when I want to be.) My whole heart isn't in it, though. I think it's because now I know what I have to give up in order to do it. Cold walks to school with my kids, afternoons reading by the fire, grocery shopping without crowds, puttering around the house and keeping it a home. These may all seem like little things, but they are important to me. It's funny that during the years that I was home when the kids were little and there were no jobs to be found, I couldn't wait to get back into the field, and thought that I might be wasting my education. Now that I have dipped my toes into the workforce, I think I am realizing that a lot of what makes me happy is being in my home taking care of my family. I will never be a career woman, and I am learning that that is okay. I do still want to work and stretch my brain, but it is not the overriding force that it once was.

Where are my BonBons?

2011-01-14T06:56:00.000-08:00

I thought with my job ending that I would have lots of time to publish witty blog posts and eat bonbons on my couch. I seem to have gotten even busier, though, and this is the first day that I actually have free to myself (although I am doing laundry, making a grocery list, and finishing up some research).

On the Tuesday when everyone was back at school and work, and my new routine of bonbon eating could start, I emailed fours places about the possibility of volunteering with them. By the end of the day, all four had said yes, which left me figuring out how to fit them all in. Two of them were at archives, one was at the Red Cross and one was at the school library. I wanted to fit them all in, and had a plan in place. It was a plan that would have to wait for a few weeks, as I was also starting some research for a book my sister-in-law is writing, and seeing as she is paying me for it, that job got priority!

On Wednesday morning I got an email from the curator of a museum here in town asking me to call her. I did, and it turns out that the email I had sent her colleague the day before had been really well timed, because she had gotten a call from a local church here in town wondering if they knew of any archivists willing to take on a short term project. They suggested me. So that was good timing.

The following Monday, I set up a meeting with the church and we discussed their ideas for the project. My next step is to create a few proposals for them, and let them decided how far they want to go with the archiving. As often happens with people who are not in the field, what they see as the project isn't what an archivist sees as the project. Often people just want to preserve the fun anecdotes, letters, and pictures, what they see as the real history of the organization. What they don't always realize is that the boring things like financial records, minutes and annual reports are the more important records, at least from an archival point of view. So the church presented me with a nice little box of cultural records which they want me to organize. I mentioned the stacks of annual reports, etc. that really need to be dealt with. So I am going to give them a few options and they can take the project as far as they like.

It's my first time consulting, so I am a little out of my comfort zone. Once I am actually doing the work I'll be fine, but putting together the proposal and costs associated is a bit daunting.

So now it would appear that I am doing a consulting gig and volunteering at the Red Cross and the school library once a week. I had to slough off volunteering at the two archives for now, until I get this church organized. Depending on how far they want me to go it could take anywhere from a week to a couple of months. The nice thing about coming in a consultant, though, is that I can make my own hours. There is no deadline, so no rush to get things done by a certain date.

Someday, instead of writing long, boring updates about my life, I promise that I will get back to posting funny things my kids have said. And I'll tell you about the blessing and curse that is the little rock tumbler that my kids got from a friend for Christmas. Awesome in theory, noisy in reality.

Winding Down

2010-11-28T05:34:00.000-08:00

My days of being a paid employee are quickly winding down. I was surprised when I counted yesterday and realized that I only have 12 days of work left. While I always knew that the job was only temporary, I've been there since April, and it feels like it is now a permanent place in my routine. I can't imagine not waking up in the morning and going to work, and yet at the same time, I can't wait to wake up in the morning and not go to work. I am tired!

This job has been great for me. It reminded me that I am completely competent at my chosen profession, something that I had only dabble in since the kids were born. It helped me get great contacts and training. I got to be more than "just a stay at home Mom." Our bank account is flourishing because I have hoarded almost every last paycheque. Interestingly the more paycheques I brought home, the more loathe I was to spend any of them. So we have carried on as usual using our regular income, and mine has all gone into savings. The good thing about that is when my job ends and the paycheques stop, we won't notice any difference because we weren't using them anyways. They are strictly "renovate the basement and in case of emergency" funds.

I've been thinking about applying for another job. It is part-time, a position with more responsibility, but it is about an hour from my house on a busy highway. I'm not sure that I want to commute or what the hours are. The good news is that the competition is open until mid-January, so I can take my time to think about it and decide if that would work for our family. Another thought I have is getting in lots of volunteer time at a few places here in town and hoping that something paid might eventually come out of them. Just keep my face in the news, so to speak. I'll have to decide what works best in terms of finding that elusive balance that we are all searching for in life. I know that I would love a calm, simple life, and I'll have to figure out how much is too much before the balance is toppled over. I don't want to only be at home, but I don't want to only be at work, either.

We had our first official snowfall here yesterday. There had been the odd flurry before, but this is the first time that the snow stuck. I don't expect it to last too long, as the temperatures are climbing and they're calling for rain this week, but it definitely counts. The snow here is always disappointing. It is really heavy and wet, and usually it rains immediately and covers the snow over with a crusty, icy layer rendering it slippery and useless (in terms of playing in it). Our friends out west have had over a foot of white fluffy snow, and we are all jealous at our house. It appears the days where we could dive into a pile of snow and shoveling was effortless seem to have passed us by. I think I would even take their less than ideal temperatures in order to have snow that is more fun.

My friend is coming out from the west to visit this week, and I am very excited to see her. I have incredibly excellent friends here, but it is exciting to have someone come out that knew the person I was before I moved out here, if that makes sense. This inaugural visit to my house means that today is going to be spent trying to get it tidier than usual. Luckily none of my friends stand on ceremony, but there is still a lot of work to get the house to where it is presentable for an initial visit! One problem with full time work is that we have tended to get by with a lick and a promise, housekeeping-wise.

Well, it's time to get some breakfast for myself and the kiddos. My husband is having a well deserved sleep-in. I'll be back (sooner, I promise) to talk about the end days of work and my next steps.

Ted

2010-11-04T17:19:00.000-07:00

Last week was hard. The weekend before last I learned that an old friend of mine from out west had died. I knew it was coming and had feared it for some time. I was hoping that he would fight the cancer in his body, that he would triumph and come out the other side to live out the rest of his days as he should. Well, he did fight, and he did triumph, in that cancer no longer has a hold on him, but he is no longer with us, no longer living his vital, kind and generous life. I was surprised how much it has affected me.

Ted was a member of the church choir I sang in back west. He sat across from me twice a week and had me in fits of giggles during practice, and studiously avoiding his eye during service. He always ended each choir practice with a joke or a hare-brained story that he had heard somewhere, and he always ended each church service with a prayer just for the choir members, as we stood waiting on the steps to go down and put our robes away. No one ever stepped off the last step until Ted's deep voice had blessed us for the day and the upcoming week.

Ted was kind. He was generous and funny. He always had a kind word for everyone he met. A smile from him was enough to make a day brighter, and his stories were hilarious. He was born and raised in England, a war child who was sent to the country to avoid the blitz, and he had a lilt to his voice. He led the men of the choir. We were a small choir, only four men at the best of times, and his voice was the one that kept the rest of them going. I can't imagine how heartbreaking the choir was last Friday at his funeral. I know they would have sang, to honour him and to give him a final farewell, but the tears must have ran unchecked down so many cheeks. I wished so much that I could be with my church family that day. I was distracted and sad the whole day. I'm still teary when I think about it.

Ted came into my life while the only Granddad I ever knew was beginning to go out of it. My Granddad had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and his descent was swift and unforgiving. He died almost four years ago. I know he knew me near the end, but for months the conversations had been roundabout and confusing. He asked me if I wanted to go flying with him. He thought he was back in the war teaching pilots again. I always humoured him, and said it would be fantastic to fly with him. There was no point in trying to make him see where he really was and what he was doing. His memories were more clear to him than his present reality by that time, and it did no one any harm to sit and talk about whatever he was thinking about.

Ted reminded me of my Granddad before Alzheimer's took him away. In a way it was like I got to have my Granddad back again for a few more years. The same humour, and the same glint in his eye. After we moved here I wrote to Ted and told him how I felt about him. I am so glad I did, because no one knew then that he would have so few years left. He leaves behind a wife, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and an uncountable number of friends. His was a life well lived.

A year and a half ago I went back for a visit, and surprised my old choir mates before church one morning. Ted had already been diagnosed at that point, and wasn't feeling very well, but he was there, and I got to give him a hug and ask him how he was before he got my old robe out and had me take up my old place in line for our trip up the stairs for service. I hadn't planned on singing in the choir, but they had other plans for me, and welcomed me back as if I had only been gone for two weeks rather than two years.

I spent one last service sitting across from Ted, trying not to laugh out loud, and listening to his beautiful voice bless me as I waited on the stairs at the end.

Climbing

2010-10-23T20:12:00.000-07:00

Today my daughter demonstrated again that she is growing older, and that nothing we can do will turn her back into that squishy little toddler in the rolled up overalls and over-sized jackets.

She went to a friend's birthday party, and the whole gang went rock-climbing. This is something my daughter hasn't really done before, save for the little portable walls at fairs or school. We weren't there to witness it, but the birthday girl's dad told us that our girl scampered all the way to the very top of the wall. She was about three feet away from the 30 foot high ceiling. She then rapelled herself back down. When we asked her about it, she said she just wanted to see how high she could go, and decided to go to the top. When she got there she looked down and was a bit surprised at how high she was in the air, but calmly bounced herself away from the wall and back down to the ground.

I can't even describe how incredibly proud I am of my brave girl and her climbing skills. I think I am glad that I wasn't there to see it because I probably would have been having a panic attack watching her climber higher and higher and farther and farther away from me. I feel like I have mini panic attacks every day anyway, when I think of her getting older and even more her own person than she already is. I know at age nine that she is still so little and needs and wants us as much as always, but the subtle shifts are starting to appear. Her own identity is developing. One that is more separate from us than it used to be.

Nine is a funny age. It's still an age of imagination and cuddles and reading adventure books together before bed, but it is also an age of a growing sense of self and how to fit that sense of self into the wider world. It is little, but big. It is a very weird thing to me to start talking to my daughter not only as a mom to a daughter but also as a girl to a girl. I feel like I am trying to help her navigate her way into the strange in-between years of adolescence so that she doesn't get lost in it and can come through it as unscathed as anyone can. We all know how awkward those years can be, and I want to help her get through them without being too preachy or too factual or too buddy-buddy or too naive. It is interesting trying to think of how to approach this new stage in our relationship.

I love being my daughter's mother. I love watching her soar to new heights, even though it sometimes scares me to see her climbing away from us. I am so proud of her for doing her own thing and starting to tentatively find her way in the world. I am glad that she will still be little for awhile, though, and that we can still walk down the street holding hands and talking about Webkinz.

Sunday Morning Sleep In

2010-10-17T09:47:00.001-07:00

Today my husband and I got to sleep in a bit. The nicest thing about having kids that are a bit older now (6 and 9), is that they can amuse themselves in the morning on weekends where we don't have to get up and hit the ground running. They can even get themselves breakfast if they think about it. I like big kids. Sleeping past 6am is kind of awesome.

This morning at around 8:30 or so my son walked in. He said "Look what I did!" I looked over, and in my bleary morning glance without the benefit of my glasses, I saw that he had covered himself with sticky notes. I couldn't read what they said, but he informed me that they pointed out his body parts. I didn't get to read what the ones on his bottom said, but the ones on his chest proclaimed "nibbles."

Hee.

Balance

2010-10-14T17:48:00.000-07:00

Grasping desperately at gossamer threads, trying to keep afloat. Always falling, falling. Never achieving balance and light.

It has been a long 6 months since I last wrote. A long six months that has passed by in the blink of an eye. Time is spinning past like a clock whose hands keep going around. I want time to stop, just for a little while. I want to savour life, experience it and be in the moment. In the now. I see beauty all around me, and I am whirling past it so quickly that I miss it.

It has been a crazy thing, this full time work while still trying to full time parent and full time house and full time wife. I have loved my job. In fact, I will be staying there for an extra two months. I am ready to be done now, too, even though I will miss it. I feel like our life is suffering because we are so busy. Everything happens so quickly, and there is no down time, especially now that school has started again. I feel like the next two months of my job will take forever, even though I know that they, too, will flash by.

Working full time for the first time since becoming a mom has helped me to define what I want in life. I love the profession that I am in, but I do not want to work full time at it. I do not want a career. I just want jobs that I like going to each day, that make me happy, and that fit into our life. I am lucky, so lucky, that I have the luxury to pick and choose how much, or even if, I work.

I don't think that I would want more than a part time job the next time I am searching. Being a contract worker full time comes with some drawbacks, the most major one being no days off. When my time is up mid-December, I will have only taken three days off work since April, and those days were made possible by staying late at work almost every day this summer to make up for the time I missed. Those three days, though, were my summer vacation, and it was spent at the lake with my family: canoeing, boating, reading, lying in the hammock and having campfires. Those three days were the most important days in the past six months, because they were the days that mattered. Those three days went by slowly, and life was calm, unhurried and untouched by civilization.

I want to find peace and joy and balance in my life. I want to be organized, and have time to savour the small, beautiful moments that make up life. I want to volunteer, I want to take photographs, I want to be present in the lives of my children and my husband. I want our home to be serene and a refuge from the craziness of life. Right now it feels like a stopping place. A place that we whirl through on our way somewhere else, leaving backpacks and boots and all the detritus of life behind us as we fly away again.

Because my job was only supposed to be for six months, I didn't try too hard to make a routine. There would be two months of getting by while the kids finished up school, then two months of getting by while the kids were on summer vacation, then two months of getting by when school started up again. Adding on an extra two months has really made it seem like we are spinning like a top, and not in control of our lives. Of course, why start a routine now, if it is only two more months?

I actually did apply for a new job last week. It is with a different company, it is a year long contract, but it is only part time. Committing myself to another year of work with no days off, even if only part time, is a bit daunting, and I have to say that I don't mind either way whether I get the job or not. Of course it would be nice to be working, gaining more experience and raising extra shekels for our van that seems to be surviving on a wing and a prayer these days. But I think it would also be nice to take some time off to start organizing our life and getting closer to where we want to be in terms of how we spend our time and live our life.

I need to find balance.

*****

Right after I wrote those words I found my son on his way down the stairs looking for that one more glass of milk before sleep. As he drank it in the kitchen, I whirled around getting the dishes put away, emptying lunchboxes, and getting ready to fill them again. Then I took him up to bed, tucked him in, and climbed up beside him. We spent half an hour just cuddled up, talking about his life and making plans for a sleepover. His skin had that soft warmth to it that only sleepy kids get.

I felt balance.

New Adventures

2010-04-22T10:55:00.001-07:00

A lot has happened in the past month. The most life and routine changing one, I think, is that I got a job!

I applied for a job at the beginning of March, knowing that it was the perfect position for me. When I looked at the list of qualifications I possessed every single one of them (without having to resort to "well I did this once, it was kinda, not really at all like that.") The job I applied for was exactly like the other contracts I had done in the past (as in: before kids). It was a job I would be comfortable doing, one that would finally get me meeting some other people in my field, one that could lead to others in the future and, one of the best parts, one that is only 10 minutes from my house (almost impossible in my neck of the woods).

At the end of March I was asked to come in for an interview. I was pretty excited about it, despite the fact that I think I am a crap interviewee. The last interview I did (shortly after we moved here) I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience as I watched myself say the same words over and over again and basically come of as a ditsy moron. I was determined not to let this new job possibility slip through my fingers because of my innate ability to mentally shut down when talking to other people.

I prepared for my interview by reading some websites on how to do interviews and how to answer certain common interview questions. "What are your biggest weaknesses?" "Where do you see yourself in five years?" It was very helpful to read about interview preparation, and it did a lot to give me some much needed confidence. I knew that my resume stood on it's own. I had every credential on their wish list. If I could survive the interview and come across as somewhat polished, then I knew that I would be the front runner for the job.

On interview day I felt good. I felt like I had a good resume and some basic ideas of how to answer the questions that might be asked of me. I was nearly undone when it came time to get dressed, however, as I am crap at ironing, and usually get my husband to do it for me. However, I had not decided what I was going to wear the night before, and he was long gone to work before I figured it out. I plugged in the iron and proceeded to turn wrinkles into creases, as is my talent. I got most of the creases out, and the end result was passable.

I arrived for my interview and was ushered into the room where I think I will be spending a lot of time working. My soon-to-be boss was there as well as someone whom I assume was an HR-type who did most of the questioning. I was prepared for the somewhat mundane and hard to answer questions, but they leaped right in with a list of questions that actually pertained to the job that I would be doing, as opposed to my opinions on my strengths and weaknesses and future plans. They wanted to know, not necessarily who I was, but if I could do the job. Luckily I did know the job, as well as the answers to their questions, and I started feeling quite confident. I even let a few tiny jokes slip, although I tried to remain professional for the most part.

After the interview I felt ten feet tall. I knew that, even if I didn't get the job, I was completely qualified to do the work should another opportunity arise somewhere else. I was confident in myself and in my interview. Confidence is something that I have lacked since becoming a stay at home Mom. I found myself saying "I'm just at home with the kids" when asked by others what I did for a living, and always felt like I was somehow a loser for not having both a family and a full time career. I always felt like I needed to apologize for being home with my kids and not being out in the workforce. Like I was letting the team down. And yet, I know in my heart and my mind that me staying home provided my kids with the best possible early years. It was what was right for my family, and I don't begrudge my kids a single minute of my time that was taken up by them and not by a career. They were, and are, my ultimate career choice.

I received emails from two of my references the same day that I had my interview, informing me that they had been contacted and that they had said nice things about me. The next day I received an email from my other reference. All three of my references said that it sounded good, so I was getting my hopes up all the while trying not to get my hopes up. The following morning I was called by my now-boss, asking if I still wanted the job. I said I definitely did, and we discussed the particulars. After I hung up I danced around my kitchen for awhile.

So there it is. I am no longer a stay-at-home-archivist. I am now a bonafide go to work archivist. It is contract work, which means that in the fall I will have to start looking for work all over again, but it is a project that I am excited about doing, and it will hopefully open up new pathways and contacts for future contracts. What I like about it being a six month contract is that I did not have to feel the stress of going from staying at home full time to working a permanent full time job. Six months is not a lot of time, and my family will be able to figure out a new routine without thinking that our life is now going to be this way forever.

One of the best parts about my new job (besides everything else, because it's all pretty awesome) is that it has very flexible hours. My husband has flexible hours, too (up to a point and unless he is away, which is often lately), so we have pretty much figured out a way to get the kids to and from school without having to resort to daycare. I do have a friend who will do some pinch hitting when my husband is away. With my contract occurring over the summer, we had to get fairly creative with child care. It is so weird having to think of child care in the summer, when for the past 8 years it's never been an issue. The kids are signed up for several day camps, my husband is going to take some of his vacation time (He gets paid while on vacation. I can take a day off but wouldn't get paid), and the kids are going out to my parent's for a week or so. I have the whole summer except four days figured out, so I think that is pretty good for a rookie.

The next six months are going to be interesting. I think that it will mainly take a great deal of organizing. My husband and kids are all very excited and supportive about my new job, so there is nothing but positive thoughts going into our new adventure. I have been trying to organize the house for the past two weeks, but just as one closet gets cleared out, a new pile shows up in the basement. Tomorrow is my last kick at the cat, I think, so hopefully it will get done. Or at least somewhat done. It would be nice not to trip on the things on the stairs, for instance.

Stay tuned for updates on how I try to transition from staying at home to working outside the home. Although, considering how little I managed to update while home all day, I'll be amazed if I ever write again!

Accomplishment Meme

2010-03-06T08:08:00.000-08:00

Instructions:
Copy the list, bold the ones you've done (with explanations if needed), share with friends.
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland (technically Disney World, but I think it counts)
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped (this will never be bolded)
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a thunder and lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community (does Hutterite count?)
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving (something else that will not be bolded. I cannot jump out of a perfectly functioning plane)
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone (broke my first one 6 weeks ago. Ouch!)
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Got a tattoo
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Okay, so I've only done 43 out of 99 things. Still, that's not bad considering I'm only 33 years old. Several things on this list (most involving trips to Europe) are definitely going to be crossed off the list at some point. Some are never going to be crossed off (I have no desire to fling myself off a bridge or out of a plane (I lack that need for an adrenaline rush).

I liked doing this. It made me think about how much I have accomplished in my life so far and how much there still is to do. My husband and I are definitely going to do a lot of traveling, once time and funds permit. We want to take our kids with us, too, so that they can have a wide world view, and not only see the town they grow up in. So we are waiting both for funds, and time, but also for them to be old enough to really enjoy the travel and absorb what they are seeing.

Next week we are driving to Florida, and they are very excited to go through the different states. We will hit up about 8 of them, and I wish we had more time to stop and explore each one. At the very least, the kids will be able to see the different topography as we drive through the Adirondacks and farther south. My son wants to go to Africa. We all want to go to Europe. I would love to go to Thailand. All big dreams, and all ones that can be accomplished when we can manage it. For now we're sticking to this continent, and enjoying the many myriad things that North America has to offer.

Plague Update

2010-02-25T10:05:00.000-08:00

Just in case you thought things were getting lazy around here, I thought I should let you know that son's asthma has now been upgraded to son's bronchitis. Whee!

The good news is that both kids are now on medication that should take care of any more greeblies lurking around their innards.

Also, my husband is coming home in 5 days.

The House of the Rising Plague

2010-02-23T18:05:00.000-08:00

Well, hello there. I meant to update more this month, but the one handed typing because of my broken elbow slows me down so much that the task seemed too daunting.

Remember my last post when I wondered how much more I was going to have to take? Well, I was being far too optimistic, because my month has turned out to be so full of plague and pestilence that if my friends hadn't seen it with their own eyes, they would have thought I was making it up.

Shortly after I wrote my last post, where my daughter had just spent the night throwing up, I began to feel unwell. I began to feel very unwell. So unwell, in fact, that I threw up early one Saturday morning. It was all rather horrific, and when I went to blessedly flush the toilet I was struck by only one thing. The fact that it didn't flush. I tried again, then went to fetch my plunger. I plunged away with my one good hand and then had the excellent experience of having the toilet overflow all over my bathroom floor and down the heating vent. At this point, completed defeated by both my health and the plumbing, I phoned a very, very, very big favour in to my closest friend. Within 20 minutes she had mopped and cleaned the bathroom as I lay on my bed, started a load of laundry, and then on her way out the door (at full speed, lest the germs find her) she stopped and fixed the desk that broke when my daughter leaned on it.

It was without a doubt one of my lowest moments. And I was humbled by how my friend came through for me where many others wouldn't. Because getting phoned to clean up someone else's chunks is not for the faint of heart. I know how lucky I am to have a friend like her.

Needless to say the kids and I spent the weekend lying around in our pyjamas. The following week we all felt much better, except for my daughter's nagging cough. She had one of those coughs that came off and on, sometimes sounded worse and made me think of taking her to get looked at, and then would go away again for a few days. What with the broken elbow and the three of us being sick, I just hoped that the cough would resolve itself.

I went to the orthopedic Dr. the following Friday to see how my arm is healing. The new Xrays show that my bone has slipped about a millimeter, and if it slips any more, then he is thinking of putting a screw in it. I was sent home with the splint intact and told to gently exercise my elbow during the day, and eventually start trying to flex my wrist. The elbow movement is going well although there is a lot of loss of range of movement, that I hope will eventually return in full. The wrist part really hurts, and there is very little movement there so far.

Last Thursday I started to feel unwell again, but assumed it was something I ate. I then spent the rest of the night in the bathroom, and it was horrific. I lost about three pounds, but luckily the toilet held up, and I didn't require the services of my friend. On Friday morning, after a long and productive night, I called my friend to ask if she could walk my kids to school. She came by, but by the time she arrived my son had told me that he didn't really feel all that well either. He looked pretty tired, so I sent my daughter on her way and tucked my son in beside me in bed for the day. He brought me graham crackers in bed. Oh, how I love him.

He seemed to recover, ate well all day and was fine all day Saturday. On Saturday night he told me his stomach hurt so, doing what all mothers do, I told him to get some sleep. Around ten that night I started feeling really queasy again, and was just about to go to bed when my daughter ran downstairs and said she thought my son was throwing up in his sleep.

I ran upstairs and what a sight did I behold. My poor little son, up on his hands and knees in his bed, vomiting out what looked to be about ten pounds of spaghetti. I patted his little back as he heaved, and then finally, spent, he collapsed face first into his barf and went sound asleep. He looked for all the world like a tiny, drunken frat boy, and if it hadn't been so sad, it would have been hilarious. I shook him awake and told him he had to get up because he was sleeping in his barf. He woke up, looked at himself, screamed, and then passed out again. I managed to manhandle him to the shower, get him undressed and in the water, where he promptly kept falling asleep as I tried to wash the noodles out of his hair with one hand (because my other arm is broken! Just in case you forgot and were visualising that I was doing this two handed). After he was clean, I left him on the bathroom floor in a towel and went to change his sheets. I had to take the mattress off his bed (one handed!) and get the mattress down from his bunk bed (one handed!) and then remake his bed (you guessed it: one handed!). I went back to get him, in time to see him throw up all over my floor. Sigh.

We went through 5 sets of sheets and were up until 6am that night. The sheets are all clean, but are still on my bedroom floor because I'm trying to get up the willpower to try and fold them all (one handed!). The kids and I spent yet another weekend lying around, and Thank God the Olympics are on, because otherwise I have no idea what we would have done.

This morning my daughter was coughing like an 80 year old cigar smoker, and my son had started coughing, too. I decided that it was time to make an appointment to get them listened to. After my daughter went to school (my son was still really tired and pale, so he stayed home), I called and got them set up. I took both kids in this afternoon, and my son is kind of congested and wheezy in the chest, but just needs his inhalers for now. The nurse-practitioner listened to my daughter's chest and said it was kind of congested too, then looked in her throat and said something to the effect of "Wow those tonsils and glands are huge," did a swab and got her started on antibiotics for the infection that she's obviously had for awhile. Sigh. Mother of the year.

To recap, since shortly before or since my husband left for his month long trip we have had:

-broken elbow
-son with exploding nether regions
-daughter with flu
-me with flu
-me with flu again
-son with flu again
-daughter with strep throat
-son with asthma

This has all happened in the past three weeks. There are still six more days to go, and I shudder to think what else could possibly happen. I have learned that so far (except for having to phone my friend to come mop up my puke) no matter what is thrown (up) at me I deal with it. At this point it is such a farce that I have no choice but to laugh and carry on.

Friends and neighbours have really come through with keeping me sane, shoveling my driveway, bringing us food and groceries, and helping with the kids when I was too sick to do it. We are so lucky that we live here among such wonderful people. Knowing that I was being taken care of was the only thing that kept my husband from trying to figure out how to jump on the first plane home.

I can't wait for February to be over.

Are You There, God? It's Me, Exhausted

2010-02-03T06:12:00.000-08:00

You know, I've tried.

I've tried to be optimistic.

Yes, I broke my arm last week right before my husband left for a month. Fine. We'll figure it out. We'll make do and get by, etc. etc.

Then on Friday my son came down with a rather severe issue with his nether regions (we'll call it frequent and explosive and leave it at that.) Fine, I said. A few days of this and we'll be back on track.

We're now entering day 6 of this particular problem. He is perfectly fine in every other way. Drinking, eating, good energy level, etc. I'm not worried about him, but I would like it to end now.

Last night at bedtime my daughter said she didn't feel well. And then threw up four times before I fell asleep. And apparently threw up a few more times after that but handled it on her own (she's a pro.) Needless to say, she's home today, too.

I feel like I may never leave the house again. Or be alone for five minutes. Today I have big plans to go to the pharmacy down the road and get some pedialyte and cough medicine, with a detour to the convenience store for some ginger ale and milk. It should take about ten minutes.

That should be enough of a break. Right?

I'm still holding my own, but there has to be a limit at some point. I only hope that things settle down before I reach it.

Weekly Recap

2010-01-30T20:55:00.000-08:00

Here's how last week shaped up:

1. noticed dishwasher is leaking.

2. fell and broke elbow (technically a radial head fracture, but they call it an elbow fracture)

3. son wound up in ER with an infection

4. medicine for infection made him really ill

5. the TV broke

6. the shower head broke

7. husband inadvertently froze his credit card two days before he leaves for a month long trip

8. daughter now under the weather

Between Tuesday and Saturday I had the following procedures:

3 sets of xrays

1 ultrasound

1 MRI

I was also supposed to do blood work, but truthfully I was tired of the clinics and the hospitals and I was not in the mood to fast, so I skipped it and will do it next week.

I experienced almost everything the health care system has to offer in one week. I am thankful to live in a country where, when everything collides to make a perfect storm in the same week, we have access to the care that my family and I need. And I can truthfully say (at least for this town) that the system is not broken. Every level of care from triage to emerg, from xrays to nurse practitioners, from pharmacists to technicians, was coordinated. Everyone I talked to had my chart on a computer screen in front of them , even if the tests had been completed mere minutes before. It was impressive, and it made what was already a frustrating week so much easier.

I am so happy that this week is finally over!

Silver Lining Welcome

2010-01-28T07:00:00.000-08:00

Sigh.

This week we were busy gearing up for my husband's upcoming month away.

And then I tripped on my pants.

And fell on my hand.

Which broke my elbow.

The top of my radius bone, if you want to get technical.

And now I am splinted from shoulder to wrist, and awaiting a call from the orthopedic surgeon.

I'm looking at about six weeks of splint/cast.

Then last night my son said his leg hurt.

We found one toe was red and sore.

With angry red lines running from it up his foot.

He got a trip to the ER, too.

Now he is on antibiotics.

And my husband is leaving in four days for a month.

He said he'd stay home (and he meant it, it wasn't lip service.)

But I said he should go (and I meant it, it wasn't lip service)

Our house is officially a gong show.

But we're figuring out some plans.

The kids are stepping up admirably, and we're figuring out what I can and can't do (I can put on my socks. But I can't put a ponytail in my daughter's hair.)

I should add that I broke my left elbow.

And I'm left handed.

So I'm also learning how to write again.

It's going to be an interesting month.

Red Cross

2010-01-20T11:03:00.001-08:00

I started volunteering for the Red Cross in December. We have a very small office here in town, with only three paid employees. The rest is done by volunteers. I had thought about volunteering my time somewhere for quite awhile, especially as the whole paid-job thing is taking longer than I thought. Besides my actual field of study, I have become increasingly interested in non-profit organizations. I was on the board of directors for a non-profit out west, and wasn't sure what to look for when we moved here.

This past fall, my husband and I took our First Aid training at the local Red Cross. When I was there signing up for the course, I looked around the office and it felt homey. It seemed like somewhere I thought I could work and enjoy what I was doing. A place to make contacts, get used to a work setting again, and speak to adults. The fact that it was also a place that makes a difference in people's lives, whether small and local or on the international disaster scale, was just a bonus to me.

A few weeks later, I looked at the Red Cross website, and found that my local branch was looking for Front Desk volunteers. I sent off an application, and within a week or two (and the most extensive reference check I have ever been through on a job search), I was hired to volunteer one afternoon a week in the office. I am also on call to help deliver for the Meals on Wheels program if they come up shorthanded. The Meals on Wheels program (which offers both hot and frozen meals to city residents) serves almost 30,000 meals per year. That is just in this city. Besides First Aid training, the Red Cross here offers medical equipment rental, local disaster relief and a home care program. I hadn't realized just how vital the Red Cross is on a local level, and it has been great getting to know what the organization does, and how much it benefits others and eases people's minds.

At the office, I feel like I have fit right in. The paid employees are funny, kind, and infinitely helpful. Despite my field of study and desire to work in my chosen profession, I feel like the Red Cross is a great fit for me. I don't know if a paid position will ever open up, but for now it is great to volunteer and to get to know the organization and its mandate.

With the devastating earthquake last week in Haiti (and another again this morning), I have also been privileged to see how my community steps up when another community needs help. In one week, our local branch alone has had donations of around $50,000. I spent all day yesterday and five hours today at the office, taking in donations and helping to keep up with the masses of paperwork that come with masses of donations. We ran out of receipt books today, due to the sheer volume of donations. It was, and is, incredibly heartwarming to be a part of and to see the goodness of humanity, when so often the news is full of the terror and drudgery that can befall us. The people that have given the most are often the ones who have the least to give. I can't tell you how many pensioners have come into the office or mailed cheques of $100 or more. We had a man come in yesterday who left a donation of $1.03. It almost made us cry, because we knew that in his particular case, that loonie and few pennies were almost more than he was able to give, and yet he wanted to help in any way that he could.

I knew that volunteering at the Red Cross would be a great way to give to the community, but what I didn't realize was how much the community would give back to me. I am proud to be a very small cog in the Red Cross wheel, and I hope that my association with it lasts a very long time.

Donations are still being gratefully accepted by the Red Cross for Haitian Relief efforts. You can donate online at http://www.redcross.ca, by texting REDCROSS to 30333 on your cell phone, by phone at 1-800-418-1111 or in person at your local branch.

Blog Comments

2010-01-04T13:38:00.000-08:00

I read this wacky little blog about a women who tries to survive on less than $1000 per month with her family of five (herself, husband and three kids). She has some wacky ideas about things, some good ideas about things, and an interesting way of not moderating comments, so that there are often heated arguments about her sometimes slightly, sometimes completely out in left field ideas.

Today she had an entry about GMO baking powder, and how she now makes her own in order to avoid the GMOs. This led to a lengthy chat in the comments from readers who point out that she buys tubes of meat from Wal-Mart, which are chock full of GMOs, and why would she waste her time trying to make her own baking powder, when she should be looking at ways to buy healthier meat.

The comments got me thinking about the meat we buy. We don't actually eat a lot of red meat. We tend toward the chicken and fish, although we enjoy beef now and again. When we are buying something, I usually just pick it up at the grocery store. We rarely buy ground beef, so I'm not too concerned about the bits and pieces that go into that. Because we eat so little red meat, though, I started thinking that it would probably not affect our cost too much if we tried to find organic, grass-fed beef to eat instead.

The fastest Google search in history led me to a farm right outside the town I live in that has organic, grass-fed beef for sale. You can buy from a box they offer, or build one of your own with the cuts that you like best. The price is a bit higher than the store, but seeing as it is not a staple of our diet, I think the extra cost might well be worth it.

This is why I like blogs. Even if I don't agree with certain people's points of views, I like that I can always learn something new. And in this case I have learned something new that can actually have a great effect on what I feed my family.

Christmas Spirit, Ho!

2009-12-14T07:14:00.001-08:00

There is no more need to search for the holiday spirit, because it is now alive and well in our household!

On Friday night we had friends over for Moose Milk, dinner and good cheer. All of the kids played nicely together (they are all generally nice kids, but the ratio is four opinionated girls to one boy, so sometimes feelings get hurt), and the adults read questions from 80's Trivial Pursuit and enjoyed the grown-up company while the kids were busy off doing other things.

Saturday dawned clear and bright, warm and sunny, and with almost of foot of great snow on the ground. The kids were outside by 10am and remained outside for most of the day. They built an igloo-type fort in the backyard, crazy carpeted down the play set slide (now that I think of it, that doesn't sound like the safest past-time), and dragged each other around in our big snow scoop. After a quick lunch (grilled cheese and tomato soup, of course), they were out again, this time to a hill with the neighbour kids where they tobogganed until it was time for supper.

On Sunday morning the kids and I made 137 sugar cookies. We always make a big batch, so that we can bring them to other people. The kids also give their teachers a dozen iced and decorated cookies in a nice tin as a Christmas gift (we figure they would enjoy that more than yet another coffee mug that says World's Best Teacher). The cookies are usually over-sprinkled and it is easy to tell that they were made by the kids. I'm not one for standing on ceremony, and the taste is more important to me than the presentation, so they should go over just fine.

Sunday afternoon was the kids' Christmas party at my husband's office. It is always nice, except that it is a big office, and we don't know many people there. Most of the people that my husband works directly with don't have children, so they don't come. It is still nice, though. This year they had a little reptile show, where a lady brought a turtle, a lizard, two snakes and an alligator. My daughter touched all of them except the lizard, which she said looked creepy, and my son (who is even scared of ladybugs) actually touched the alligator's tail (not too worry, the snout was all taped up so no children could lose any fingers) It was an odd choice for a Christmas party, but it seemed to go over well. The employee that plays Santa was amazing. He practices magic tricks, and is very jolly and kind, and really makes the kids believe.

After we got home we watched the Garfield Christmas Special and the Charlie Brown Christmas Special, before putting the kids to bed. After a weekend of fun in the snow, sugar cookies, parties and Charlie Brown, I think it's safe to say that the Christmas Spirit has well and truly found us.

Christmas Spirit

2009-12-07T06:58:00.000-08:00

We are trying valiantly to get into the Christmas spirit. I've noticed that several of my friends are in the same boat. None if us feel very Christmas-y yet. We've decided that it is the presence of still-green grass in the neighbourhood, of days still well above zero, and of dry roads with nary a hint of adventure-inducing ice.

Still, this past weekend was the Christmas Family Fun Day at my children's school, so that helped kick-start some jolly-ish-ness. Mostly, it is a fundraising party put on by the school in the guise of family fun and togetherness. The saving grace is that there is a book fair, so our kids always know that if nothing else, they will score a Scholastic book (does everyone remember Scholastic book orders from their youth? I'm here to tell you that they are still alive and well, and it's possible that my family is solely responsible for their gross annual income. We really like books.) We entered a few draws, as one does, and for the first time ever (except at the liquor store where we were on quite a winning streak for awhile, but how many Budweiser jean jackets does one family need? Answer-none.) we won something. We won a backpack, which I remember entering as I thought to myself, who can't use another backpack? I must have been the only person to feel that way, because clearly no one else entered the draw. Anyway, I'll pick it up today.

When we got home from the Family Fun(draising) Day, we decided to carry on the Christmas spirit, and we put up our tree and decorated the inside of the house. It is now very glowy and nice and Christmas-y in here. That helped a bit, too. This weekend we will be having friends over for togetherness and Moose Milk*, and we will also be making our annual batch of sugar cookies. I'm pretty sure that the Christmas spirit will be firmly cemented in us by then. Plus, it's supposed to snow a bit today, so that will drastically help the mood. Kids with new ski pants and nowhere to wear them tend to lean towards the grumpy end of Christmas, so a dusting of snow should improve matters.

One thing that is nice is that my sister-in-law and I have finally managed to co-ordinate in time, and we decided that the adults won't exchange gifts anymore. We just want to hang out together, and none of us really need anything. So the kids will get presents, and I'm putting together a package for my parents and my parents-in-law, but other than that, the Christmas shopping thing is all done. It's much easier to relax and enjoy the season without having to brave the malls!

I hope that everyone is starting to feel the Christmas spirit. The green grass makes it difficult, but having braved many sub-zero winters out west, I have to say that I don't mind the snow holding off a little bit! But it will be nice to see it arrive in time for the holidays.

*Moose Milk is a boozy eggnog-ish milkshake. It's been known to bring grown men to their knees with it's boozy goodness.

My Last Word on H1N1

2009-11-28T05:43:00.001-08:00

Since I last wrote, we made our decision about the H1N1 vaccine, and I think we made the right one for us. After trying to tune out the media hype surrounding it, and just reading about benefits, side effects and research, it was easier to look at the situation more objectively. One thing that was a big decision maker for me was that my son has asthma (thankfully just mild), and that he had three chest infections last year. Considering the fact that the H1N1 virus seems to attack the respiratory system with uncommon vigour, we really felt better about the idea of vaccinating our son and his slightly weak chest. My husband decided to gt the vaccine because he is going to be traveling a lot this winter, and he will be going to places where there will be lots of other travelers and their millions of germs. Once it was decided the two of them would get the vaccine, it just made sense for my daughter and I to get it as well.

I took my son for his shot during the priority weeks. He was pretty unhappy, but luckily the line was fast, and he only had a half hour to ponder the upcoming needle. Of course, as soon as he had had the needle and we were walking to the recovery area, someone sitting there passed out and fell out of his chair. This really didn't make me feel better about the vaccine, and my first irrational thought was how to get it out of my son's arm,. Luckily the guy who passed out just needed to lie down with his feet up and have some juice for awhile, and he was good to go.

My husband got his shot through work, and then my daughter and I went last week when it was opened to the general public. We brought our books, but luckily it was only a 45 minute wait from start to finish. From what I can tell, we were pretty lucky with wait times, and I owe it all to Twitter. Our public health opened a Twitter account, and they had updates on their website throughout the day giving approximate wait times. It was easy to time when to show up, as the clinic was only about five minutes from our house. I was nervous about my daughter receiving the vaccine, because of her reactions to previous ones, so I mentioned it to the nurse, so that she would keep an eye out. Luckily everything went fine, although my daughter did indeed get a hot red growing spot on her arm as per usual. Luckily, as per usual, it required nothing more than Benedryl to treat.

So there you have it. All four of us have been vaccinated, and I think it was best for us. We are all still washing our hands frequently and taking vitamins and immune boosters as well, because H1N1 isn't the only virus out there, and obviously it's nice to be as healthy as possible. I do have some peace of mind, though, that we aren't going to be felled by a random flu that seems to target the most unsuspecting people. Case in point, I found out this week that a good friend of mine, who lives in another city, and is in her early 40s and pretty healthy (although clumsy, which tends to work against her) was in the hospital last week on a respirator with H1N1 with complications. Luckily she is home safely now, but she said that she is on several inhalers now, and the Drs. think she will be for the rest of her life due to the damage caused to her lungs. She was very lucky, and so are the many people who have had this virus and either had mild symptoms, or have recovered fully.

While I'm not joining the bandwagon saying that everyone must dutifully line up for their shot, I am saying that everyone should be able to make an informed choice about their health and their bodies and what they put into them without succumbing to what, quite frankly, was a pretty hysterical reaction by the media. In my view, the media should have been much more controlled about how they were presenting the facts, and indeed making sure that their facts were correct before sending the story out. I realize that things were rapidly changing, but the slight edge of hysteria present in so many news reports probably caused a lot more unrest than was necessary.

The High-Knee Flu

2009-11-02T15:05:00.001-08:00

Whoops. Only one post in October. That's not good. I have sat down at the computer many times during the past month, but could never think of anything worth taking the time to write out.

The past two weeks here have been marked with illness and the ever-present thoughts about H1N1. Much like the rest of the country, we've been inundated with news of H1N1 and the vaccine. When my alarm goes off in the morning, the news tells me about the latest line-ups for vaccine, the latest deaths of children, etc. The newspapers, the Internet, the television news and the mothers at the schoolyard all remind me on a daily, nay, hourly basis, of this latest threat to our health and our children.

We haven't decided on the vaccine yet. The kids and I have never had the regular flu shot, so we had no plans of getting one now. My husband always gets one through work, and this year he is going to be away for about a month or so, surrounded by people from all over along with their accompanying germs, so he has decided to get both the regular shot and the H1N1. I don't have any qualms about getting the vaccine, myself, although I see no need to wait in line for six hours to receive it, and don't mind waiting for all of the furor and media hype to cool off a little. I am not so sure about the kids, though.

My son actually fits into the high-risk category for the vaccine, and theoretically could go and have one now. He has asthma (luckily fairly mild), and last winter he ended up having chest Xrays three times looking for pneumonia, and was on antibiotics three times as well for chest infections. Clearly his respiratory system isn't always up to snuff. So I think that I would be likely to get him the shot, as he fits into the category where the flu could lead to the respiratory infections that can become quite serious.

My daughter, on the other hand, is usually as healthy as a horse. However, her claim to fame is that she has allergic reactions to vaccines. Luckily they are not severe, but they do require both Benedryl and monitoring in the clinic after she receives one. Because of this reaction and her general good health, I am loathe to give her a possibly unnecessary vaccine, especially one that has not been tested in the long term (or really the short term, for that matter).

I flip back and forth on the matter, and haven't completely come to a decision yet. I do feel like I am going to take a few weeks to think about it, and then base my decision on what is best for our family. The point is rather moot at the moment anyway, as both kids have been sick for almost two weeks (I know I just said that my daughter is usually as healthy as a horse, this just happens to be an exception). My daughter has had a pretty stellar cold, and was pretty much completely over it. Today she woke up with a headache. Her temperature was normal, so I sent her off to school as usual. She got through the day and said her head was still bothering her when she got home. After about an hour of hanging out on the couch together I realized that her cheeks were flushed and she looked a bit wet noodle-ish. A quick check revealed a temperature of 101.2*F, so I gave her some Tylenol, and we'll hope for the best. I think I can hear some coughing now, too, so as soon as I'm done this, she's off to bed.

My son has been the most fun, because I never know what he has. He'll have a stuffy nose for a few days, then a mild fever, then a croup-y cough, then a stuffy nose again. His energy level never quits, so he is still running around like a crazy boy. He is very hard to diagnose. Especially when I am being a bit hyper-alert when it comes to symptoms. He also refuses to take medicine, so there's not much to do to help him out anyway.

For now everyone is taking their multivitamin, as well as an immune booster one. We're washing our hands a lot and trying to stay away from germy things (like hand railings at the mall. Eew!) I have a sneaky suspicion that my daughter may have come down with H1N1 today, so if she has, we'll hope it's the mild one that most people seem to be getting and she'll be back on her feet soon. On the other hand, it could be just a random fever. Kids catch the weirdest things.

Speaking of which, I'm off to put the kids to bed. I hope everyone out there is feeling healthy, happy and calm.

Funny

2009-10-09T11:28:00.000-07:00

Things My Kids Have Said Lately That Made Me Laugh:

1. Every September our kids' school has an Open House Night, so that kids can bring their parents to their classrooms, meet the teachers, and show us where they sit and what they do. The evening of the Open House, my son said that he had to go and get his tie to wear. It's not a dressy event, but whatever, he really likes his tie. He came downstairs, wearing a white t-shirt with his tie on over it, and we headed off to the school.

We went to his classroom, and as we walked in, his teacher started laughing, came over to us and complimented him on his tie. We asked if he had mentioned in school that he was going to wear a tie that night. She said that the class was talking about the Open House, and my son raised his hand and very seriously said, "Mrs. ____, are you planning on changing your clothes tonight?" She told him that she was, and he answered very seriously, "I will wear my tie."

Later we were in the library and a girl in his class came over to him. "Oh!" she said "I am so glad that I saw you! I was afraid that I wouldn't see your tie!"

2. We recently inherited all of the Lego that belonged to me and my brother. Our kids had only ever played with the big Duplo-type stuff, so this boxes and totes full of Lego had us all on the floor playing for an entire rainy day. As we ate our dessert, my son gave the briefest pause between bites, said "Lego is awesome" and went back to eating. It doesn't sound funny at all but the fact that no one was talking about Lego and the way he suddenly blurted it out and then went back to his cake made me laugh. And he's right. Lego is awesome.

3. We had a bit of a scare a couple of weeks ago when the 11 year old girl across the street went missing. She is a quiet kid, never in trouble, and it was very out of character for her not to tell anyone what she was up too. The whole neighbourhood was out as well as the police. I told my kids that we were having trouble finding her, and could they think of anywhere she might have gone? My daughter said, "No, but I hope they find her in the next five days so she can go to my birthday party."

Luckily she was found safe and sound about two hours later, none the worse for wear, although pretty humiliated by being brought home in a police car. I told her mom what my daughter had said, and she said that was the first time she had laughed about the entire incident. We loved that in a time of complete stress and worry for the adults, my daughter could still somehow make it all about her. That's not to say that my daughter doesn't have any empathy, in fact she is one of the most sensitive kids I know, especially with regards to the environment and animals. It was just funny that her innocence about the seriousness of what was happening, plus the importance of her birthday coming up managed to combine to make a funny statement.

Archivist for Hire

2009-09-14T06:13:00.000-07:00

This blog was supposed to be about raising my children and looking for a job. It would appear that it mostly has been about my kids, because not much happened on the job front in the past few years. I sent out some resumes last winter, and got many nicely worded emails about my abilities, and the fact that no one was hiring, but they'd keep my resume on file for a few months. This was mostly okay, as I was quite busy with home and the kids in school. With my son in school every other day, scheduling was always going to be an issue. There's always September, I thought.

Well, September is here, and in fact already is halfway over. The first week of school I gave to myself, if cleaning the house and finding things for a garage sale can be called having it to myself. Last week I decided to bit the bullet and approach two archives in the city about volunteer positions as I knew they were not hiring. I was hoping that I could volunteer, gain some work experience and make my name and face known, and that it might eventually lead into a paid contract or other position.

Both archivists wrote back to me and said that they had no paid positions available and that they did not take volunteers because they are unionized and any volunteering would take paid employment away from union members. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place, it would appear. I know that the archives have more than enough work available for me to comfortably spend years toiling away at. Archives always have lots of projects and not enough money. I'm fully qualified for any position, and yet I can't even work for free to gain much needed experience as well as help out the archives. My volunteering would be a win-win situation for both me and the archives, but the unions are in the way and the money is stretched too far as it is. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against unions, and I would happily join one if it meant that I had employment, but when I'm on the other side of the fence and looking in, it seems like an insurmountable height to scale.

I am feeling a bit down about things, and have to find out another way to approach things. If it was just about finding a part time job, then I know I could walk right down to Chapter's and start work. I would probably love working there. Just think of the employee discounts! I'd have to spend all of my wages buying new bookshelves for my house. But it isn't just about finding a job. It's about finding meaningful employment in the field that I love and that I studied hard to gain access to. Having a big 'Access Denied" sign put in my face is disheartening, to say the least. I'm not really sure where to go from here. I think I'll send out a batch of resumes again and see if that leads me anywhere. I can try and get volunteer work at other areas of the arts in the city, like museums or festivals. I'll have to be creative about this. Unfortunately archiving is not something I can just start as a home based business, and I don't have enough experience to start consulting or anything like that.

I wish that my first seriously job related post had more positive things to relate, but I guess it is a sign of the times. I'll keep you posted if anything happens, and I'll keep trying out a way to enter this seemingly elusive industry.

First Day

2009-09-01T10:33:00.001-07:00

Today was the first day of school.

My son is starting Grade 1, and he's been getting kind of nervous about it. He woke up this morning, and the first thing he said was "I'm really scared." We talked about how it is okay to be nervous, but that he would get to see his friends, learn lots of new things and that everything would be okay. He has been to the same school for two years, so I reminded him that he already knew where the gym was, and the library and some of the teachers, so that it wasn't going to be scary.

My daughter is starting Grade 3. She was a bit nervous about the work this year. She thinks the math might be kind of hard, and she was worried about who her teacher would be, and desperately hoped that her best friend would be in her class.

We got up, got everyone dressed in their partly new outfits. (New pants for both, but they both opted for tried and true t-shirts and shoes). My husband went in late to work this morning so that he could walk to school with me and the kids. It is a gorgeous, sunny day, and the walk was really nice, full of anticipation and a few nerves.

We got to school and joined the scrum of kids at the back wall determining who their teacher was and whose class they were in. My daughter was really upset to learn that she and her best friend had been split up in different classes. Not only that, but the other kids she tended to pal around with were also all in the other class. Her best friend gave her a big hug, and her teacher said that it would be okay. She didn't cry or anything like that, but we could tell that she was feeling pretty down. Luckily some of the kids from her class last year are in her class this year, so she isn't going in not knowing anyone. I've been thinking about her today, and I really hope it is all going okay.

We discovered that my son was put in a Grade 1/2 split, which is actually really good, as he is already doing well with reading and math, and he will benefit from being with older kids. The only downside is that there are only 6 grade 1 kids in the class. The rest is Grade 2. And there are only 3 Grade 1 boys in the class, including my son. The good news is that two of the Grade 2 boys were in my son's class when he was in Junior Kindergarten and they were Senior Kindergarten, and he was really happy to be in their class. As was I, because I know that they can show him the ropes of being in the "big kid" part of the school (the Kindergartens are segregated from the rest of the student population).

I got home and didn't know where to start. It is weird, this feeling of freedom and knowing that I now have 5 days a week to do things on my own. Today I didn't accomplish too much. I downloaded some pictures, ran some errands (it's amazing how many errands I can get done when I am not hauling around my entourage), and now I am going to bake some cookies and read a book outside on the swing. Tomorrow I am going to start going through the house and really giving it a good cleaning and tidying. Soon, of course, I am going to start looking for a job. Possibly volunteering at first, but hopefully with an eye to getting paid employment in the not so far off future. I am taking this short week for myself, though. The kids are off on Friday and Monday, so we are heading up for one last weekend at the cottage. After that, the real world starts. This week feels like a freebie of sorts, so I am going to take it as it comes.

We had a great summer, and even though we all agreed that we could have used another couple of weeks of it, I think that this fall is going to be lots of fun as well. We're looking forward to our new routine and I'm getting excited about finding my way back to the workplace, after an 8 year hiatus.

Crazy, Hazy, Lazy Days of Summer

2009-08-13T06:56:00.000-07:00

Since last I wrote, we have had company or been away almost every day. For a summer that we didn't make any big plans for, we haven't seemed to have had much down time.

The last weekend in July we went to a big, kind of folk-y, music festival nearby. It was hot all weekend, and very rainy, so our rubber boots got a good workout. There was something about jumping up and down in my rubber boots in a big tent to a Punjabi/Celtic band with five hundred other people, covered in mud while the rain poured down around us, that turned what was a great concert into a fantastic happening. We saw many great bands, likely few of which you would have heard of, and I can't wait for next year to do it all again.

The last day of the festival my 13 year old niece came to visit for a week. It was nice having her around, although it was very loud. She is not your shrinking violet, gloomy teenager yet. She is loud. Very, very nice, but loud. And she made my kids loud, too. It was a loud week. We then took her up north with us to the family cottage. (Luckily the long car ride remained quiet) We met up with more family members there, including my five year old nephew who is not loud, but rather competitive. There were glimpses of very nice boy, but it was sometimes hard to find when he was busy declaring himself the "best" at everything, including colouring a picture. It kind of wore on my nerves a bit. Luckily he and I took a big swim in the lake, just the two of us, and we had a very fun time talking as we paddled along, which helped to mitigate some of the irritation that kept showing up.

The weekend at the lake was fun, competitiveness and loud notwithstanding. It is a gorgeous piece of property, and we can swim and boat and pick blueberries and have bonfires to our hearts' content. There is even the addition of a "flushy" toilet and a shower this year, which is icing on the cake. It's a rustic cottage for the most part, and that is one of the things I like about it, but it is always nice to have a shower that doesn't involve jumping in the lake with a bar of soap. (And since a water snake was discovered by others during the aforementioned swim with my nephew, I'm doubly glad of the opportunity to bathe outside of the lake. Eek! It will take nerves of steel to get me back in the lake, now that I know what lurks in there besides hideously large pike and a huge turtle that we also encountered)

Following our trip up north, the kids and I went to my parents' new house on the beach for a two days. My brother was visiting from out west, so we wanted to see him, and also decompress from all of the cousin mayhem. It was a great visit, much sea glass was found, and we returned home in time to ready the house for more visitors.

We had friends from out west come to stay for the past week. They lived behind us in our old town, and my husband trained one of them at work. Their kids are 11 and 13, but our house remained happy and quiet the whole time they were here (much less loud!). We went on a day trip with them, hung out at home during a rainy day, and stayed behind while they explored on their own. We even celebrated our 10th anniversary with them which was fitting, because when we stayed with them last year it was their 15th. They even got to see my son's last soccer game of the season. Despite them being here for an entire week, we didn't feel like they had overstayed their welcome. In fact, it was with genuine regret that we said goodbye to them early yesterday morning. Not knowing when our paths are going to cross again makes saying goodbye a bit harder than usual. Hopefully we will see them soon.

Now that our visitors seem to have gone for a few weeks, we are getting ready for back to school. Yesterday my daughter was getting quite desperate to get her school supplies, so we trundled off and loaded up on new Crayola products for everyone. Now we have to do things like buy new shoes and new pants, as both of my kids seem to have grown about three inches this summer and are starting to look a bit ridiculous in their too short pants. My son is getting a new backpack for his foray into Grade 1. Serious school means a serious backpack, don't you know.

Speaking of which, I can't believe that my kids are going into Grade 1 and Grade 3. Doesn't that seem a bit old? I'm not sure where their babyhood went. And while having them both at school all day every day opens up new worlds for me in terms of being able to get outside employment, I will miss my days with my son while we tooled around town,and I will miss not seeing the kids during the week.

Now that I've mentioned the kids I realize that we have somehow made it to 10:20 in the morning with all of us still in our jammies. It is going to be a gorgeous day, so I think we had better get dressed and see what we can find to do.

Summer Days

2009-07-17T07:51:00.001-07:00

It's a sad state of affairs when I have to pause and consider what my blogspot password is. Clearly it points to a falling down of some sort on my behalf.

The summer has been flying past at an alarming rate of speed. We decided not to put the kids in any summer camps this year, and the thought of nine straight weeks of togetherness with me and the kids was a bit daunting. And it is true that in some of their "finer" moments I have been wondering if any of the camps still have openings. But for the most part we have kept fairly busy and I find myself sitting here on July 17th, with the realization that there are only 6 weeks left to go, and these weeks are likely to be even busier than the three we have already conquered.

The day after school finished we went to the nation's capital for a week. My parents (up until last week) were living downtown, and we thought it would be a great chance to see the sites before they moved. We had gone out several times, but only for about 3 days at a time, which is not enough to see all that the city and surrounding area has to offer. Especially when my kids think that the only things worth seeing are the Natural History Museum and the wave pool.

This time we managed to accomplish much more. My parents took the kids to the Natural History Museum and a picnic, while my husband and I went to the War Museum. We took a tour of Parliament (which my daughter loved), went to the National Gallery (which made my son cry with his love of abstract art and the unfortunate fact that we couldn't bring any of it home with us), saw the RCMP Sunset Ceremony, saw the snowbirds roar over the Peace Tower on Canada Day, saw Sarah McLachlan doing her sound check the day before, went to Gatineau to see Mackenzie King's summer estate, went to the Museum of Civilization and went to many pubs with friends and family. It was a wonderful week, and we will miss being able to wander down along the canal whenever we want.

The good news with my parents' move is that they are now much closer to us. It is still a drive that requires some thought and planning, but we can now head out for a weekend or even a day. They also bought a place that comes equipped with it's own beach on one of the Great Lakes, so we anticipate lots of summer fun to be had (and lots of work, too, as they are going to build an addition, and it seems that we are part of the unpaid labour).

We have been busy since we got home. There was strawberry picking to do and jam to be made, we've done lots of swimming and have been playing with the kids in the neighbourhood. There are lots of activities to do here in town, and the weather for the most part has been cooperative. While it isn't a typical, sweltering summer here, it is generally about 20*C and mostly sunny. With the added bonus of no mosquitoes, this is a summer I can appreciate!

We plan on heading up north to the family cottage at some point, and back to my parent's new place as well. We have friends from back west coming out to stay in August, and maybe some friends from the east as well. All in all, I'm trying to figure out how to fit in everything we want to in the (now) seemingly limited time we have left before school starts again. The weeks had stretched out endlessly a short time ago. Now I feel a slight rush of panic at not being able to fit it all in. Which is funny, because we are having a decidedly low-key summer.

Speaking of which, I have to go up and quell the small uprising that I hear beginning.

Losing Weight, Gaining Confidence

2009-06-16T06:38:00.000-07:00

We were married almost ten years ago. Since then we've finished school, started careers, had two children and moved three times (once cross-country). Through all of that, my wedding dress in its plastic dry-cleaning bag has accompanied us. Several years ago my youngest was two and suddenly not being carried around everywhere, and I discovered my weakness for granola. I also turned 30. You can see where this is going.

I started putting on weight. For all of my life, I was the skinny girl who could eat anything and still stay thin. Even after two kids, my body bounced back (well, mostly), and my waistline stayed more or less where it had started. But when I turned 30, the combination of suddenly not hauling around a kid on my hip all day, my misunderstanding that a huge bowl of granola every morning was healthy, and the complete shut down of my metabolism (or so it seemed) conspired the pounds to sneak on.

At first I was a bit horrified. I gained ten pounds in one month. When I mentioned it to my healthy, marathon running friend, she looked at me askance and asked if I had ever read the back of a box of granola. I did, and suffice it to say, I don't eat granola anymore. It was like having a Big Mac for breakfast, so far as fat content went. I thought that stopping the granola was all I needed to do to get my former shape back. And let me make it clear that I wasn't trying to get my pre-baby body back, but my post-baby body, which was different but still healthy.

The extra weight didn't leave me, though, and in fact was joined by a few friends. With the stress of trying to transfer, the stress of trying to sell our house (not to mention that every viewing of our house seemed to fall over a meal time, so that we were eating out several times a week), the stress of our move cross country and getting settled, etc. etc., the weight didn't go anywhere. I just kept getting heavier a bit at a time.

Last year I realized that I weighed the same as the day I gave birth to my first child. Only I wasn't nine months pregnant. It was time for something to change. I had talked to my friend who said that her friend had found that following the Canada Food Guide was really helpful. I decided to do that, as well as read labels and start some exercise program. Something that I could do myself at home. I wanted to be low-key about it, because I didn't want to set myself up for failure.

I started following the Canada Food Guide. Like most people, I had to significantly up my intake of fruits and vegetables. The surprising thing I discovered was that I was drinking far too much milk. It is my favourite drink, and people (women especially) are always told to make sure they get enough. But I was almost tripling the recommended daily intake. So I cut back on milk and upped the water. I cut back on carbs and upped the veggies.

I also started doing intervals on our treadmill. I have never been a runner and have always been a biker, but when I started on the stationary bike, I found it was bothering my knee and I wasn't enjoying it. I glared at the treadmill then hopped on. I had read that intervals (walking quickly and running in alternate short spurts) was one of the better ways to burn fat. To my great surprise, I didn't hate it. In fact, I kind of liked how it felt (especially how it felt to stop, of course). I decided to run about 3 times a week, on no specific schedule, just when I felt it was time. The kids and I walked to school (about 3kms round trip) as much as weather permitted. I walked with a friend once a week.

I started feeling better and looking better. My pants started getting looser. Initially when I started eating better and working out, my goal wasn't to lose weight, as I wasn't even in the overweight category for my height according to the BMI calculator. My goal was to tighten up a few things that had become loose. To stop the jiggling where there was no reason to jiggle. I thought I would lost 5 or so pounds, but that because I was building muscle, the weight would stay close to the same.

Since November I have lost 20 pounds. Twenty pounds that I didn't even realize I actually needed to lose. I have more energy. I have more stamina. I have no pants that fit. It feels great to set an example to my kids that a healthy diet and staying active are two of the most important things you can do for your body and yourself. And I make sure that they know that there is always room in a healthy diet for the odd Slurpee. Or chocolate cake.

My friend told me that she checks to see if she can fit in her wedding dress every year, and that way she knows she's on the right track. I checked my wedding dress a couple of years ago, and couldn't even begin to zip it up. Last night I pulled it out, put it on, and zipped it right up. Now, granted, I was breathing slightly more shallowly than is comfortable, but I was also underweight when I got married, so my dress isn't necessarily the best benchmark for a healthy body. But it was zipped up to the top, and didn't look painful. After I got it off and put it away, I noticed my Grade 12 grad dress hanging beside it. I pulled it out with a laugh, because if I was skinny when I got married, I was at least ten pounds lighter in high school. I pulled it on, and zipped it up. Again I was breathing a bit lighter than usual, but it wasn't a bad fit (although I won't be wearing it anywhere anytime soon).

Although fitting into dresses from bygone days wasn't part of my get healthy goal, it was pretty satisfying to know that I could. I'll never fit into them perfectly, and I don't want too. My weight was pretty low back then, and I think it is in a much healthier range now. I'll always be curvy, but I like my curves. I have a realistic body image, and it's one that I want to pass on to my daughter and my son. I want to be healthy, not skinny, and I want the same for them.

It has been a long road for me, but I am so glad that I stuck to it. After seven months of a lifestyle change, it is now the new normal.

Relay for Life

2009-06-07T17:30:00.000-07:00

This weekend I participated in the Canadian Cancer Society's Relay for Life. It is a 12 hour relay that takes place from 7pm Friday to 7am Saturday. Teams of up to ten people fund-raise and have at least one person walking the entire time. Our team had nine people on it, but we still managed to raise over $3000 dollars for the Cancer Society. We also managed to succeed with our most important goal (besides the fund-raising), which was to have fun.

The underlying motto of our team was "what happens at Relay, stays at Relay," but I think that I am allowed to tell you that I laughed until I cried several times, and that my ribs hurt more than my legs yesterday morning. I discovered that 5am is my "wall." I hit it head on and was happily dozing off in a lawn chair when I heard them announce a contest. It was one that I knew I could win, so I leaped up and sprinted across the venue, sliding in to eke out a win with someone hot on my heels. My team also won a scavenger hunt, and due to our success in fund-raising, we also got to spend an hour in the VIP tent, watching a movie (Run, Fatboy, Run) and eating candy.

Despite the swag and the endless laughs, the event was also very moving. It was my first Relay for Life, and it was eye-opening (not to mention heart-wrenching) to hear so many people's tales of how cancer has affected them, and to see the bright yellow survivor t-shirts among our white participant ones. Cancer has touched all of us, whether directly or indirectly, and there is still no telling when or where it will rear it's ugly head. I started walking on Friday night 24 hours after my son had a CT scan due to months of headaches. While his Doctor and I both think that it is probably nothing, there is always a "what-if" in the back of my head. Next week I have an appointment to get a worrisome mole looked at.

Melanoma is not something I ever worried about, but I have discovered that I have 6 of the 10 risk factors, as well as a textbook-looking mole. Again, it is probably nothing, but after this weekend I know that I, and everyone else, can't take good health for granted. I'm not saying that people need to live their lives in fear of the unknown, but I am saying that everyone can be proactive with their health. People need to check their bodies for troublesome lumps, bumps and moles, and have regular check-ups. So many of the stories that I heard this weekend involved survivors being lucky that their cancer had been caught early.

There was an overwhelming feeling of hope, love, and determination at the Relay for Life. Participants were honouring their friends and family members who had succumbed, who had survived and who were still fighting cancer. It was a moving event, and one that I was so glad to participate in, even when I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. Next year I am determined to raise at least double the amount I raised this year. I can't think of a better way to have fun raising money for an incredibly worthwhile cause.

May Update

2009-05-31T07:54:00.000-07:00

I had a great trip back west last weekend. I stayed with some good friends, saw my Grandma, went to a really wacky wedding (not in a good way), met my friend's five week old baby, met my other friend's 9 month old baby, had an amazing night with my child-less friends (there is something to be said about a home that has no Fisher Price cluttering it up!), and even had lunch with my Mom (which is odd because both of us now live in the east, but were both out visiting at the same time.)

I got home feeling refreshed and relaxed, and it lasted all the way until we got in the house when my husband said, "We need to talk."

I imagine that most people would have a sense of foreboding if their spouse said that to them, but I immediately guessed correctly that he was about to be sent away for work. It was a short notice kind of thing (as it sometimes can be), and to make a long story short, he had three days warning that he was going away for three weeks. I unpacked my backpack, and he repacked it with his things, and we sent him on his way this morning.

This is the longest that he has been away from the kids, and the longest he has been away from me in eight years. None of us are looking forward to it, but we all know that we will all be fine. I have met a few women that seem happy that their husbands travel a lot for work, and I just can't imagine why having their husband away would be better than having them home. I mean, I love the extra leg space in the bed as much as anyone, but when push comes to shove, I would much rather have him home and be a bit squashed at night.

The good news is that he is away in June, so the weather is gorgeous and we have lots to do to keep us occupied until his return. We'll plant the garden, the kids have field trips, we'll practice riding two-wheelers, etc. This week is especially busy, as I am doing the Relay for Life on Friday night. My in-laws are going to babysit, which was so nice of them to be able to arrange on such short notice. My son is having a CT scan on Thursday, as he has been having headaches for some time, but neither the Dr. nor I think it will be anything worrisome, so it's more a matter of remembering to go to the appointment! Anyway, it is keeping us busy, along with the usual school and extra-curricular activities.

The next three weeks are going to be fine, even though they won't be as fun as they would be if my husband was home. We are lucky that after almost ten years of marriage and fifteen years together that we still love each other more than anyone else and are best friends. So I will be mopey because I'll have all of these things to say, yet no one to say them too. And I know it will be the same with my husband. He'll want to tell me what's going on, but won't be able too as he'll be quite busy.

Well, I guess I better get going. The kids have a project on the go, so maybe I can sneak in a bit of reading before I make lunch. Sigh, T-20 days until we're all back together again.

Milestones

2009-04-29T11:26:00.001-07:00

On Sunday afternoon we took the training wheels off our kids' bikes. They were both pretty nervous, but at ages 7.5 and 5.5 we thought it was high time for them to join the ranks of two-wheelers. Both kids have great balance, so we knew that it would only be a matter of time and patience before they mastered it.

At the end of Sunday's half-hour or so session, we could let go of both kids' bikes for a few seconds before they veered off into the grass. Our daughter was exhilarated and very excited to get out again and keep practicing. Our son, whom we thought would be the most excited as he is the zoomier of the two on training wheel-equipped bikes, was not as exuberant. In fact, he was quite upset and wanted his training wheels back on.

Monday night my daughter had Brownies and couldn't join us for the evening training session, but my son was out for another half hour. Again at the end of it he was despondent and wanted his training wheels back on.

Last night we took them out after supper for another kick at the can. Within fifteen minutes my son had suddenly mastered it and was zooming around the block with me running after him. After two laps of the block, with me realizing that 20 minutes on the treadmill three times a week does not, in fact, make one a runner, I handed over the spotter reins to my husband and took over the task of getting our daughter more comfortable. After one lap around the block, my husband got my bike out so that he could keep up with our son.

We have created a monster. My son can now zoom over sidewalks, grass and gravel with ease and even catches himself when he swerves too far in one direction. He says that biking without training wheels makes his bum feel like it is flying. He has seen the future of off-roading, extreme mountain biking, and he is never going back. We're positive that he will be in a cast of some sort before the summer is through. That much confidence after a half hour of successful two-wheeling can only spell disaster at some point. I took him out again today and he was great no matter what surface he ended up on. Even his big lip skid didn't keep him down for more than a second before he jumped back on.

My daughter has the ability and the drive, but she is infinitely more cautious. She has never been a strong biker even with training wheels, so it will take her a little longer to get the hang of it. She has lots of enthusiasm coupled with a healthy dose of nerves. We are assuming that she will avoid any trips to the ER this summer through her judicious use of the brakes. She is doing great, though, and we are very proud of them both.

The best part about this milestone for my husband and I (besides thinking of all the great family bike rides we'll be able to go on now) is watching our kids interact with each other. They are both being so supportive of each other. They cheer each other on and whoop and holler when one or the other of them gets a little better. Even when my son suddenly took off and left his big sister behind, she still gave him fist-bumps and high fives. When she was frustrated, he felt sad for her, and when she got all the way down the sidewalk on her own, he was standing on the grass beside it screaming out encouragement. It has been so great to see them learning together and how strong their relationship really is.

We're looking forward to a summer full of bike adventures.

New Baby Boy

2009-04-20T17:02:00.000-07:00

Finally some good news from out west! My friend, after 20+ hours of labour and an unexpected c-section, gave birth this morning to a strapping baby boy. Mom and baby are doing well, and we can't wait to hear what their daughter thinks of suddenly being an older sister.

We are so happy for them, and it brought back memories of when they had their first child two and a half years ago. We lived across the street from them, and they left us a message on the phone, asking if we could take their dog for a few days while they were in hospital. They have the nicest dog on the planet (the only one my kids trust, in fact) so of course we said yes. After their daughter was born, my husband was one of the first visitors they had. Work had brought him to the hospital (as it often did in those days). He got to help put her in a tiny sleeper and give her a snuggle.

We were the parenting veterans at that time among our friends, so we were glad to help out and offer advice (only if asked for though, nobody likes unsolicited assvice) when needed. We got to see so much of their tiny baby. It felt as normal for us to carry her around as it did our own kids. Our kids saw her as a tiny extension of our family of friends.

This time is so different. We live 2500 kilometres away from them. Their daughter and dog went to the family farm for the duration of the hospital stay. We aren't there to cuddle and console. This new baby will never know who we are, much as their daughter doesn't really know us either, as she was only a baby when we left. Our children remember our friends as part of our family, and it is so strange to think that their kids will only know us as someone who sends their parents a Christmas card every year.

Despite the sadness at being so far away during such a time of joy and change for our friends, we are so excited for them. We can't wait to see pictures of the newly expanded family. Our kids are excited to write letters to the new big sister to let her know just what it is like to be a big sister and a little brother. Our friends are our family, and while we miss them a lot, we also love them very much, and wish them nothing but joy, contentment and peaceful nights (okay, a long stretch, but we can still hope!)

Easter Zen

2009-04-16T07:05:00.000-07:00

Working on my zen seemed to have worked. By focusing inward on my immediate family, we were able to have a really fun long weekend, despite the earlier slight from extended family. My husband worked on both Good Friday and the next day, so the kids and I pretty much spent those days as usual.

On Easter Sunday we awoke to a visit from the Easter Bunny, then the kids and I managed to convince my husband to go to church with us. (We have only very recently started going to a church here. So recently that our first service was Palm Sunday, which was uh, last week). He was glad that he came with us. The Church that we chose to attend is very old, steeped in tradition, yet modern in its thinking. Also, as I almost leaned over and told my husband during the service, they have a kick-ass organ. (Luckily I remembered in time that we were in church and I refrained. Being in church did not stop him, however, from uttering a "Jesus!" as he was trying and failing to put his hymnal away. You can't take us anywhere.)

The kids enjoyed the service, and they especially enjoyed the Easter egg hunt that happened right before the end. There were eggs hidden all over the beautiful big church, and the organist played a lively, slightly crazed tune as the kids dashed everywhere on their quest. I like a Church that recognizes the importance of the Easter bunny.

After the service we went out for lunch, which we hadn't done for a long time. It was really nice. We spent the afternoon at home, just enjoying all being in the same house at the same time. We had a huge ham to cook, as we had been expecting company that couldn't make it due to unexpected work responsibilities, but we decided to cook it anyway. Around 4pm or so we went to the neighbourhood park and ran into our across the street neighbours. It turns out that they had no supper plans, so we invited them over to share in our feast. They came and we all had a really great time. I love having people over for an impromptu dinner, and it was a bonus that I had also decided to make a chocolate cake for dessert, because we had all of the bases covered. Being with friends and sharing a meal was the best way to spend Easter Sunday that we could think of. I'm really glad that it worked out that way.

On Easter Monday the kids here don't have school, which I find very odd. My husband wasn't working either, which was also odd, so we decided to go a few towns over to a children's museum that was open. It was a great day, and we got to see the neighbourhood that my husband spent part of his well-traveled life in. We also had a nice drive in the country.

All in all, it was a very restful weekend. I need to spend less time worrying and more time just living life. Things always work out better that way.

Tired and Irked, but Working on My Zen

2009-04-11T20:12:00.000-07:00

Whoops. I always mean to get right back to my blog, then a month goes by. We've been busy as usual, although nothing too noteworthy (obviously) has been going on. Just the usual start of spring that gets us all active and outside and away from the computer. Plus, I have been irked all week, and even though it is my blog, I feel like it doesn't serve anyone, including myself, if all I do is whine.

I have a family member that causes strife in the family. Because we lived away for 10 years, we didn't have to deal with it. Now that we are here, we do, and it would appear that most of the strife is directed at us. Maybe we breathe too loudly or something. It doesn't take much to set the strife-maker (SM) off. Anyway, the rest of the family tends to deal with SM by pandering and acquiescing to their every need or want. Anything to make sure SM does not feel any strife. Most of me wants to tow the party line and keep my mouth shut, but part of me wants to stand up and say, "Why the heck isn't anyone telling SM to get over it already?" Everyone (except SM) gets unhappy any time there is some sort of family function to organize. It's enough to make me move back west (okay, not quite enough. It's really nice here!) Sigh.

Unfortunately (SM) will never change. SM has been pandered to for a lifetime, and now they are closing in on 40. Methinks that the leopard will not be changing its spots at this stage of its life. We've done pretty much anything we can think of to do to keep peace and include everyone (whether we want to or not). Nothing has worked so far, so I don't think that there is much else to be done. Sigh. I guess there's at least one in every family.

Anyway, as cryptic as that explanation is, it's what irked me all week. I hate having to be the bigger person all of the time. It would be so much easier to be a big jerk, but that would hardly solve anything. I am trying to find a zen place in life. No more negativity! (okay, so it's an ongoing process!)

I have been inundated with questions lately: What makes the colour blue? Why is it called Good Friday? Why didn't cavemen wear clothes? (as you can see we seem to have an interesting mix of Creationism and Evolutionism going on at the moment) I love this stage of my children's life. Knowledge that I take for granted, they are just discovering and questioning. They keep me on my toes, and I like to think that I give them good answers, although mostly they leave me wondering why as well.

We are in week six of a crazy amount of overtime. Normally we'd be excited about some extra money on the paycheque, but after six weeks of 70+ hour weeks, we're kind of ready to get off the gravy train and get some family time in. Hopefully it ends soon and we can get back to our usual routine. That might be why I haven't blogged for awhile, too. I'm just tired from picking up the slack at home and busy keeping the kids and house going. I feel like I've been living my marriage through text messaging lately! We've always been more family-time rather than over-time kind of people, so this is a bit unusual for us.

Speaking of tired, I just realized that I am exhausted. I spent most of the night cooking so that I wouldn't have anything to do for tomorrow's dinner besides cook the ham. It is just the four of us for Easter (see strife-maker above), so we are planning to be outside to enjoy the sunny, if not overly warm, weather. I am looking forward to having the four of us together for a whole day, and just being in each other's company.

I hope everyone has a very restful and enjoyable Easter!

Phone Call

2009-03-18T18:11:00.000-07:00

We returned home from a family outing today and saw the light flashing on the answering machine. I was kind of expecting a call from my parents (who are in the midst of trying to buy a house), so I pressed the 'play' button without too much thought.

The voice on the other end was not my Mom, but a friend of mine and a former coworker of my husband's. The voice was serious and told us to phone as soon as we could because something bad had happened in our old town. As I grabbed for the phone, I had to stop myself from running to the computer and googling the name of our town. When we get a call like that, it usually means something headline grabbing has occurred with a coworker, and the news is not going to be good. I mentally ran through the list of names of who we still know is in the town, their families, our friends.

When I reached my friend and he started to talk, I realized that the news was even worse. It was not about a coworker. It was about a coworker's daughter. A little girl of six who suddenly fell ill and despite best efforts, did not live. It happened so fast that her dad, who working in a remote community, was not able to make it back in time. I can't even begin to imagine the pain and anguish that is surrounding their family right now. I know it must be huge, because all of us who know them are feeling it too. Children should not die.

She was a sunny little girl. She had the cubby next to my son when they went to nursery school together. She always had a smile on her face. She will be missed by everyone who knew her.

I can't even really put thoughts together right now. Pictures of her and her family flit through my head, and I can't put into words what I am feeling. Just despair and sorrow and grief. I think about my kids and the slightest thought of losing them makes my heart constrict. I hugged them too tight today and kissed them all over and drove them crazy. I feel like never letting them out of my sight again, although I know that that is irrational. I feel like the world is too big and scary for children, and that there is no way I can keep them safe.

I sit here and think about what we can do for the family, and it all seems so stupid and insignificant. How can we send a card to someone that says "sorry your child died." It seems ridiculous. What has happened to them is so huge and so profound that any gesture on our part seems too small. What they want is their daughter back. And, oh, how I wish I could give them that. I think everyone wishes that.

Vote for Mitchell for the Best Job in the World

2009-03-10T12:47:00.000-07:00

It's times like this where I wish I had a wider audience (most times I'm pretty sure that I'm writing for myself, which, considering it's a personal blog, is fine).

But we need votes, people! If only three people read my blog, that's not enough!

I'm sure that many people in the blogiverse have heard about the Best Job in the World by now. I was alerted to it by Clare's blog...The House and Other Arctic Musings. There was a hearty Northerner up for the job, who braved the fridgid waters of a Yukon lake in winter to show how much he loved to snorkel. Sadly, Michael did not make the cut, although I voted for him repeatedly.

But a few other Canadians have made the cut, and I have thrown my support behind Mitchell, who wrote a lovely musical number that he and his friends performed while walking down the chilly streets of Guelph. If you have not yet seen his video, you should really check it out:

http://www.islandreefjob.com/#/Mitchell

And then you should vote for him. My favourite part is when he flings his arms out and "knocks down" a passerby.

Go Canada!

DST

2009-03-08T12:14:00.000-07:00

I feel better now that I have that last post off of my chest. So that's what a blog is for...

I had a terrible time with Daylight Savings this morning, although I suspect it was more with my son waking up at the crack of 6am and being ready to start his (and my) day. I managed to keep him in bed for another 45 minutes, but then we had to get started. Valuable hours were being wasted! Needless to say, I am very much looking forward to the early bedtime we get tonight as a result of the change.

I was trying to explain Daylight Savings to my daughter, but she was having none of it. She is extremely annoyed with the whole concept of arbitrarily changing time. Of course, she also spent the entire weekend trying to master "Carrying the Ones" in math (which is now called "regrouping" apparently), so maybe springing a new fact on her wasn't the best timing on the government's part. Anyway, the Ones have now been carried and the clock has advanced forwards, so the universe can continue on it's way.

Is it bedtime yet?

Vente Grande

2009-03-05T07:02:00.000-08:00

I don't drink coffee, but I'm pretty sure that Vente Grande is some kind of size or drink I could buy for an inflated price somewhere. Today, though, I'm meaning it as "Big Vent" because I realized today that there are a few things that are causing me annoyance, mild concern and outright rage.

Starting with annoyance is my city's unadvertised decision to stop allowing blue boxes for recycling. Currently our garbage is separated into three streams: wet, dry and waste. The wet garbage is anything that can be composted (and believe me, you do not want to know some of the things that can be composted), the dry is what you would normally think of when recycling: paper, plastic, glass, etc. The waste is everything else which, near as I can figure, is pretty much limited to straws and saran wrap. Everything has to go out in clear colour-coded bags so that the garbage pick up people can decided whether your garbage is up to standards and whether they will deign to take it with them.

Up until this week, most people used the standard blue boxes for their dry recycling. Last week I got a knock on the door from a girl telling me that the city was wanting people to either use clear blue bags or garbage cans with lids for their dry recycling. The blue boxes have no handles or lids, so they were problematic apparently. However, it was only a suggestion and our garbage would totally be picked up in our blue boxes, no worries.

Cut to yesterday when I received a handwritten message on a piece of cardboard in my blue box. "These are illegal containers. To-day [sic] is the last day they will be picked up." What frosted my goat was the use of the word "illegal." I hate it when people use it wrong. It really annoys me. I don't like having to go and spend money on bags or garbage cans when I have recycling boxes that were perfectly acceptable last week. I'm not sure what the city hopes to accomplish with the hundreds of thousands of now useless recycling boxes people have in their possession. I guess we can try and recycle them by cramming them into our new garbage cans.

My next irritation is dogs on the school yard. I live in a neighbourhood full of dogs. Many people would walk their kids to school and bring along the family pet for their daily constitutional as well. There were dogs everywhere, in among the hundreds of ball playing kids and mayhem that generally ensues on the schoolyard. It always kind of irritated me, because I have one child who is nervous of dogs and one who is downright scared of them, so I was always aware of how many dogs were wandering around.

Last June, a child in the fenced-in kindergarten playground was bitten by one such dog. The child was not provoking the dog, I think he tripped or was walking backwards or something, and the dog, properly leashed and even muzzled, took a small chunk of the child's leg out. Needless to say, a notice came home that day informing everyone that there were no dogs allowed on the schoolyard anymore.

Most people complied, but this fall I noticed a few people that seemed to think that the rules don't really apply to them. Two people in particular always bring their dogs with them, but instead of being on the schoolyard with their dogs, they stand on the sidewalk at the corner of the yard. In other words, the sidewalk that most of the kids have to walk on and turn the corner on now has two dogs flanking it. So each child must pass within two feet of these dogs, instead of being able to avoid them if they were on the playground proper. I hate it when people obey the letter of the law and not the spirit, which in my view was "leave your damn dog at home." They think that because they are not technically on school property (which I think is debatable, actually) then they can have their dog there. One of the dogs actually snatched a stick out of my son's hand a few months ago as we walked by, and the owner did nothing.

So these two dogs have been irritating me, but I'm not really a confrontation kind of person, so I've been letting it slide. Yesterday, though, I noticed that two more people had brought their dogs and were right on the school property. It's getting to be a bit much. You might not get this from the tone of my post, but I am a dog lover and I know that most dogs are perfectly harmless. But I also know that dogs are dogs and they can get excited and confused. A schoolyard full of hundreds of screaming kids, half playing road hockey, some throwing tennis balls against the wall, some playing basketball and the rest just running around in circles could excite the most placid and well-trained of dogs. Kids are running full tilt and could easily crash into a dog and cause it to react. A schoolyard is just no place for a dog, no matter how well mannered and well trained. If a dog wearing a leash and muzzle can manage to bite a five year old, then anything is possible. Here ends my second rant.

My final vent is also my biggest, and I might not be able to make any sense because of the almost blinding rage it is causing me. It is causing me to actually raise my voice when I am talking about it because I am so incredibly pissed off.

I'm talking about the ongoing Taser Inquiry in Vancouver. Most people know that a man immigrating from Poland to Canada was left languishing without help in the Vancouver Airport for over 10 hours while no one attempted to assist him. He finally became agitated and violent, started throwing furniture and the RCMP were called in to deal with him. They arrived, determined in short order that he was adopting a combative stance and tasered him in order to subdue him. They had no idea of how long he had been there, or what was wrong, they knew only that a man was agitated and getting violent, and they feared for the safety of themselves and those around them. Because this was all caught on film, the rest of the world got to see what police officers can deal with on a daily basis. It is not always pretty and sometimes it really takes four or more officers to get some to comply.

Unfortunately the man died. There was global public outcry, with people demanding the officers' heads on a platter. It was eventually determined that the officers would not face criminal charges. A public inquiry into the death is now taking place, and that is what has me losing my mind. It is not the inquiry itself, but it is the fact that the Polish Government has a lawyer there, is allowed to participate and is currently accusing the RCMP members of lying and cover-ups, and may also be considering criminal charges against the officers.

Excuse me? Excuse me?? Poland might be able to charge Canadian citizens with murder for a death that happened on Canadian soil??? Am I reading that right? Am I? First of all, the victim was leaving Poland. He was emigrating to Canada to live here forever. He was not planning on living in Poland again. There is no reason for the Polish government to be involved. Second of all, I don't know a single RCMP officer who wakes up, gets ready for work and thinks "Gee, I hope I get to taser (or shoot, or baton, or punch) somebody today." There is never an intent to cause violence to another human being, there is only intent to stop the threat, be it towards themselves or another member of the public. Third of all, What The Fuck??

Would the government and people of Canada really stand by and let Poland extradite four of our citizens to Poland and put them on trial for murder for an incident that happened in Canada in the course of their duties? Really? Is that even comprehensible? Would a trial like that be anywhere near fair and unbiased? Poland is out for blood, I think, as is evidenced by the accusations they are levying against the officers on the stand. By allowing the Polish government to be involved in this inquiry, the officials have turned this entire thing into a circus and a joke and a sham. It is a mockery of the system, and four Canadians are being hung out to dry. Who is looking out for them? Anyone? Certainly not their Commissioner, who is gamely towing the Government party line and ignoring the very people he is supposed to lead. Certainly not the media, who are anxious to find villains around every corner and have always harboured antagonism towards the police. Certainly not the Canadian public, who have filled the comment sections of on-line media articles with their misspelled vitriol, thus proving that the lowest common denominator seems to have impressive Internet access.

I can't even write anymore. I was hoping that getting my anger out about the taser inquiry would somehow make me feel better, but it doesn't. I just feel more angry, and I want to scream. Of course I believe in justice. I believe in finding out the truth, and I believe that people need to be held accountable for their actions. I do not approve of Canada allowing this inquiry to become a kangaroo court by allowing another country to be involved, and I do not approve that the option of the RCMP officers being charged with murder in Poland is even being seriously considered.

Edited to add: The Polish embassy is stating that they don't intend to bring criminal charges against the officers, they just want someone there monitoring the proceedings. Which still begs the question of why their lawyer is addressing the officers on the stand and demanding that they explain why they are "lying" and "covering up" the truth. Seems a bit more involved than "monitoring."

Paint

2009-02-27T10:15:00.000-08:00

My husband was away all week for work. While he was gone I decided to paint the living room and the family room. When we first moved in a year and a half ago, my husband and his brother did a one day, 17 hour paint job of the entire main floor in order to get rid of the nicotine stained ceiling and the smelly walls. Because we had only one day before the furniture arrived, we chose an off-white colour for convenience sake.

Fast forward to a year or so later. I have never liked the off-white colour, but having spent two months painting every single surface of the house with three coats of primer and paint, I was not about to do any more painting. This week, however, I finally felt up to tackling the paintbrush again. I picked out a really nice warm brown shade and got to work. The end result is homey and updated and makes the house feel like a home, as opposed to a rental, which the off-white kept reminding me of.

The fun part of this week is that I didn't tell my husband that I was painting. He has no idea of the colour I chose or that everything is done and cleaned up. He called me each night and asked what I had done all day. I said not much. He must think he is married to the laziest woman on the planet, as it sounds like I did nothing at all of substance while he was away. I can't wait for him to come home later this afternoon and see how nice the house looks. I like surprising him, and he will definitely be surprised with this one.

The most exciting part, of course, is that my husband will be home today! Yay! The days feel so long when he is away, which he is often this year. We have managed to make it through almost ten years of marriage and still enjoy each others company the best of all, so it will be very nice to have him home for the weekend.

I Am

2009-02-23T18:55:00.000-08:00

I am so glad this Monday is drawing to a close.

I am so glad that there is school tomorrow.

I am so glad that I decided not to volunteer at school tomorrow.

I am so ready for a break.

ABBAmania

2009-02-18T09:59:00.000-08:00

I have always loved ABBA.

Truthfully, I think everybody loves ABBA to some extent, even the naysayers. A person can claim to hate ABBA, but I bet as soon as 'Dancing Queen' comes on they are tapping their toes without realizing they are doing it. The songs are catchy, the lyrics interesting, and the music is rather timeless, in that disco kind of way.

I did not grow up on a steady diet of ABBA, despite both of my parents belonging to the disco generation. My Mom was a die-hard Beatles fan, my Dad preferred CCR, and there was a lot of Beach Boys music to be found at my house. Am I the only ten year old girl who was lip-syncing to 'Surfer Girl' in 1986? Possibly. Despite this thorough grounding in beach and mop top music, somewhere along the way I took up with ABBA.

I own the ABBA Gold CD, and it has accompanied me through many changes of houses and circumstances. I learned how to drive a stick shift to 'Fernando.' I listened to it when I was writing my thesis in my tiny apartment (I may have listened to it too loudly, as one day an upstairs neighbour suddenly blasted an ABBA song. I like to think that it came on the radio and they were playing it so that I could appreciate it, too. Either that or they were telling me to turn down the damn ABBA already.) When I was pregnant with my first child, I played ABBA. At this point I should mention that while I was writing my thesis and pregnant, my husband was living in a different province training for his job, so he was not being subjected to ABBA against his will. I'm considerate like that.

When the movie Mamma Mia came out I really wanted to see it, and knew that my husband really did not. So I went to a matinee one day while the kids were at school. Needless to say, I loved it. When the movie came out on DVD, I bought a copy. My husband watched it with me, and grudgingly liked it despite his best efforts. Mostly he spent his time laughing at James Bond's horrible singing voice. Yikes. It's like listening to someone strangling kittens. Poor guy.

A few weeks ago I was at the book store and noticed that they had the Mamma Mia soundtrack for sale. I picked it up and out it in the car. My kids LOVED it! They made me play it over and over again, especially 'Dancing Queen.' We take it in the house and have dance parties to it, and my daughter seems to know all of the lyrics already. My son dances and discos and breakdances to his heart's content.

Which leads us to the other night at their swimming lesson. After the lesson was over, my husband took our son into the men's' locker room to change. And there, standing on the bench wearing nothing but a towel, my son wiggled his tiny hips and burst into a round of 'Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie (A Man After Midnight).'

And the ABBA love continues...

to Please Him

2009-02-05T19:56:00.000-08:00

Today at the rec. centre a book on the used books table caught my eye. It had a room floor plan on the cover. One of the admittedly weird things about me is that I have always loved looking at floor plans. I would sit for hours going through floor plan books and imagining where furniture would go and what size house I would need at various stages of my life. A slightly weird habit, but it has left me with an uncanny sense of exactly how much square footage is the right amount.

This book, which turned out to be a decorating book entitled Easy Steps to Successful Decorating, first caught my eye because I could tell it was from the 1970's, and there is nothing better than looking at the pictures in a 1970s decorating book. Hilarious. (You might be thinking I'm a bit odd now, but really, do yourself a favour and check out the room fashions of the '70s. It's unbelievable what they could do with shag carpet and metallic.)

The second reason the book caught my eye was that it was written by Barbara Taylor Bradford. What? Isn't she a rather prolific novelist? Why would she have a decorating book? Needless to say I ponied up my $0.33 and bought the book (they were 3 for $1). Examining my new find more closely, I discovered that it was written in 1971, and that it was one of the first books that Bradford had written. Besides an encyclopedia of homemaking ideas, the other books she had written were organized into a series entitled: How to Be the Perfect Wife.

Oh yes. There are four books in this rather august series. They bear the titles Decorating to Please Him; Etiquette to Please Him; Entertaining to Please Him; and Fashions That Please Him. I could not make this stuff up. Now I really, really want to find a copy of these books in print somewhere. Because, wow. That is some entertaining reading right there.

And now I better go and Tidy the Kitchen to Please Him.

Soup

2009-02-04T11:00:00.000-08:00

There is nothing better on a cold February day than making homemade soup and homemade buns for lunch.

I have been making my own soup for the past few years, and I have to say that since I have started doing it, I almost never use canned soup anymore (except for tomato, it's way too handy to give up). Today I made what is called Autumn Vegetable soup (mostly root vegetables) then added a bunch of diced up leftover ham. It is practically a stew, it is so thick, and it is definitely a meal.

The baking thing is a recent thing for me. Well, I should qualify that to say that baking with yeast is a new thing for me. I have been baking everything else for almost my whole life. My Mom used to bake bread before I was born, but for some very odd reason after I was born she never had a loaf of bread rise again. This incredible bad luck led me to avoid anything involving yeast for a long time. My husband started experimenting with baking bread a few years ago, and this year I finally decided to give it a try.

Am I ever glad I did. It turns out that whatever bread-rising abilities left my Mom when I was born somehow made it into me. I am still trying to perfect size and shape, but the flavour is definitely there, and I think that is the most important quality in homemade buns. I think next week my son and I are going to attempt soft pretzels.

I really enjoy baking and cooking for my family. Maybe that is very old-fashioned and traditional for a modern woman of my generation, but it is simple, healthy and delicious. Despite the fact that neither of my kids will eat the soup yet (my daughter will always try a bit, but fears that I have snuck onions into everything . She would be right.) I like that they will grow up knowing that I at least tried to offer them homemade meals.

Cooking is really fun. Both my husband and I enjoy being in the kitchen together and making a meal. It surprises me that many of the people that I meet of my age really don't cook or bake. My theory is that if you can read (ie. a recipe) then you can cook. I know a lot of people just don't have the time anymore to make a meal from scratch, and to be fair, it took me three days before I finally got my soup and buns meal completed (I meant to make it on Monday, but ran out of time to make the buns. Then tried again yesterday, but again was thwarted by the clock. I did make the buns, but they weren't ready until after bedtime. Finally today I managed to get the soup made by lunchtime.) The good news is that when I did finally get around to getting it done, I made enough soup for the whole week.

I'm not sure where I was going with this post. I just had a huge bowl of soup with buns, so it was kind of on my mind. I wish that more people had the time and inclination to cook as well, because it is so satisfying. I know that once I get a job (no leads yet, sigh) that I will find it harder to make time to cook. Until that time, I intend to enjoy it as much as possible.

In Which I Segue Into an Embarrassing Memory

2009-01-28T08:08:00.000-08:00

My son is bright red at the moment. He has developed a raging case of Fifth's Disease, of which the only cure is, well, nothing. It's one of those viruses where you think they have a cold, and then they break out in a bright red rash all over. As soon as the rash shows up, they're no longer contagious. Of course the only way that you know they have it is the rash, so who knows how many children we've accidentally exposed. Mind you, it's been going around our neighbourhood for over a month now, so it was inevitable. With the incubation period being up to 28 days long, I'm thinking the school and neighbourhood will recover from this in oh I don't know, June?

This morning my daughter's Brownie troop was on Breakfast Television in Toronto doing the weather. We didn't make it out, as it is a good hour and a half drive, and we had to be there at 7am. Plus, we are having yet another snow storm. However, about ten girls made it out and it was very fun for my daughter to see everyone on television. She wasn't too disappointed at not being there, as she is a girl who cherishes her sleep. She was a bit sad to miss her television debut, though, but I have a feeling she'll have other chances.

When I was 16, I was on the Jerry Lewis telethon. Sigh. It was the single most embarrassing moment in my life (actually, there are probably more, but it really ranks up there at the top). My best friend had decided to have a walk/run/bike-a-thon to raise money for Jerry's Kids. A noble idea, and I was the co-planner. We both worked at the same place, and decided to make it a work event, raising money from employees and signing up co-workers to participate. Our company decided to match the amount raised, and my best friend and I went to the studio to present our cheque on TV. All of this sounds very nice so far, doesn't it? Well, the part that makes it so embarrassing, was that we wore our work uniforms to present the cheque. And we worked at McDonald's. This was back in the button-down shirt and tie and visor days of the uniform, so you can imagine how awesome we looked. And we were 16. Sigh. You can be sure that no one at school knew what we were going to be doing, and I hope above all else that there are no longer any VHS tapes scattered anywhere with our shining moment recorded on it.

So it runs in the family to be on TV for something, but I will try and make sure that if it ever is my daughter's turn that she is wearing something infinitely more hip than what I wore on my television debut. Should I mention that the second (and last) time I was on TV I was wearing my band uniform? Yeah, I know....

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

2009-01-25T18:11:00.000-08:00

Things are getting fancy around here.

I finally took the time to look up how to put a picture on my header. It was possibly the easiest picture application I've ever come across, so that explains why it took me five years to get around to actually putting one up.

I really like the picture I chose (I'm assuming this is true for most bloggers. I can't see someone choosing a picture they hate and putting it up as their header.) I took this picture this past fall while sitting in my usual position at the bow of our canoe. What I like about the picture is that it looks like we are in the wilderness, when in fact we are pretty much downtown in the city we live in. And now you can understand why I love where we live right now. Strangely enough, the last town we lived in had a beautiful lake in the middle of it, and we often canoed there as well.

Our canoe has a nice history behind it. It is an absolutely gorgeous cedar-strip canoe. It is quite possibly one of the nicest things we own, and when we moved our only instructions to the movers was that it didn't matter about anything else, but please don't break our canoe. (And they didn't. They liked it, too).

Back in our previous life (before career and kids and during school and early marriage) my husband worked as a shipper-receiver at a chain store. This store had a rewards system (wow, I'm not giving away anything here about what store it might have been!) where people could save up points and then send away for free items. One day while my husband was at work, this gorgeous canoe arrived as someone's free item (they must have been saving points for about 300 years). The only trouble was that the shippers hadn't been careful and there was a small hole in the hull (kind of like a rip when you get your pants caught on some something, actually). Needless to say, the people didn't take the canoe and it languished for a few weeks in the storeroom.

After a couple of weeks, my husband decided that the hole was fixable and that he should offer to buy the canoe. He went to his manager and offered him $100 for it. His manager thought for a moment and then came back with the price of $200. (I know! Clearly he had no idea what a canoe like that was actually worth) We ponied up the cash and took our new canoe home. I emailed the company and got the instructions on how to fix the hole (about $10 worth of materials from Cdn. Tire). We fixed it in one afternoon, and are now the proud owners of a working cedar-strip canoe.

We have had many adventures with our canoe. We have taken our babies out in it and have watched them grow from lying in the middle of the canoe, to sitting and eating crackers, to holding the little plastic paddle, to graduating to a small wooden one. We've tried to let them know that our canoe can take us on adventures and that there is something new around every bend of the river or lake. We have gotten within 10 feet of a pelican that silently gazed at us before swimming away with as much dignity as a pelican can swim. We have watched Canada Day fireworks from the middle of the lake. We convinced ourselves that our canoe would totally fit on my old Chevy Sprint (umm...that one might have been pushing it, to tell you the truth.)

This is why I chose this picture as my blog header. It reminds me of my past, focuses on my present, and helps me think about my future.

Fate or Mere Coincidence?

2009-01-24T18:39:00.000-08:00

I was reading a blog the other day that is written by a woman who has just had her second child. She named him after a Saint, and included a link to a website that explained about the Saint. Now, I didn't name my daughter after a Saint, but I was aware that there was a Saint that bore her name. I always thought it was funny that, among other things, she is the patron Saint of television.

I was curious about the origins of my daughter's Saint, so I followed the link and read the history behind the Saint. She was an exemplary person, and it was interesting to read all that she had done and accomplished while living her life for God. Near the bottom of the article were the relevant dates in her life. As I read the dates of her birth and death, nothing extraordinary hit me until I got to the date of her canonization, that is, the day that she was declared a Saint.

It was my daughter's birthday.

I am not a religious person or even overly spiritual, but I have to think that there was something karma-ish about my daughter being born on the Saint Day of the Saint whose name she bears. She has always been a perfect personality fit with her name, and I kind of wonder if this helps to explain why.

At the very least it is an interesting coincidence.

Mayerthorpe Redux

2009-01-20T06:21:00.001-08:00

I didn't realize how angry I still was about Mayerthorpe until it came up in the news again recently. Four the past four years it has been far in the back of my mind, only surfacing on the anniversary of the murders, or when something comes up in the news.

But the details released yesterday about how the two men aided and abetted a known cop-hater, who specifically said he was going to go and hurt RCMP members, just boggle my mind again. How could anyone knowingly help someone who was planning to go and hurt people, not because of who they were as people, but purely because of the job they did?

When will people realize that the RCMP and other police officers were not put on this earth to harass and annoy all common citizens. They chose their professions in order to keep the peace, to keep order and to keep people safe. If you aren't doing anything wrong, the police aren't going to be bothering you. Most importantly, most members are people first, police officers second. Yes there are a few that get too puffed up about their job and the power they think it gives them, and yes, there are some that have a few too many police-related artifacts and knickknacks in their house, but for the most part, police officers are regular people with a slightly irregular job. They want to do their job to the best of their ability each day (or night) and then return to their homes to say goodnight (or good morning) to their kids, take out the garbage and fix the fence in the backyard.

The RCMP, in particular, work tirelessly at their job for what seems like little recognition. They constantly take it on the chin from members of the media, the public and the government. They are underpaid, overworked and short staffed, yet for the most part they keep working, responding to calls and doing what they can to help keep Canada safe, all while they are being vilified throughout the liberal media. And it seems they only get recognition in death and hailed as a hero if they are killed in a hail of bullets.

On November 18th, 2001 RCMP officer Peter Magdic died on duty in a vehicle accident while coming back from a call in Portage la Prairie, MB. He was on his way back to town, missed a turn and was ejected from the vehicle (he was not wearing his seat belt). He had been on the force for less than a year. You will not find his name on the Wall of Honour at Depot, however. It was determined by the powers that be that because he was returning from a call and not going to a call, that his death didn't warrant recognition. It did not matter that he was wearing an RCMP uniform, was driving an RCMP vehicle and was working his regular RCMP shift when he died.

On February 22nd, 2002, three months after his roommate Cst. Magdic died, RCMP officer Mike Templeton was shot in the head while pursuing wanted criminals who were fleeing across the prairies. He was treated terribly by the RCMP. Had he died of his wounds, he would have been feted and remembered as a "hero." Instead he was shifted around and treated like a liability.

Mayerthorpe, on March 3rd, 2005, was the RCMP's worst single loss of life. Everyone knows what a person is talking about when they mention the town of Mayerthorpe. But how many people remember that four months later two RCMP officers died in Saskatchewan of gunshot wounds? Are the names of RCMP officers Robin Cameron and Marc Bourdages harder to remember because it took them over a week to die from their wounds? The horror had dissipated somewhat? It wasn't as good of a "story" as Mayerthorpe?

The RCMP tries hard to hire the right kind of people. Hardworking, accomplished, focused, and a credit to Canada and to the force. The people that do join the RCMP work very hard and deserve to have a government that backs them up and gives them what they need: be it manpower, better tools, compensation or recognition. Police officers do a job that can put them in danger, not just because of the situation they might find themselves in, but merely for the simple fact that they wear a uniform that some people hate.

And hate can sometimes be the most dangerous situation of all.

Guilt

2009-01-18T07:27:00.001-08:00

I feel guilty. My husband has a job that pays fairly well (depending on where you're living), and I have been able to stay at home with the kids. While I have started to try and find outside work now to bring some extra money into the house we aren't at risk for losing our home or lifestyle if I don't start work right away.

My next door neighbours have exactly two months of mortgage payments left. Then they are completely out of time and money. They were both factory workers. Both were laid off before Christmas. Both are trying to find new work, but it is hard in a community where over 7000 people have been laid off in the past year. Retraining programs are possible, but it could take months to be accepted and start them, which are months that they don't have anymore.

They are feeling very down and extremely stressed. I feel like total crap when I talk to them, because we will likely never be in their shoes. I can talk with them about the economy and hard times and sympathize, but at the end of the conversation they go inside knowing that we are not equal in this matter and that we can never really know the stress of what they are going through.

And there is nothing we can do to help them. We're a family of four living on one paycheck right now, so we aren't in a financial position to help them. I don't want to offer them anything that would seem like we think they are a charity case. I told them to let us know if there is anything they need, but I can't think what it could possibly be except for a job or a mortgage payment, and unfortunately we aren't in a position to offer them either of those things.

I like helping. I like knowing that I have made someones life a bit better by helping them. It doesn't matter if it's making sandwiches for a church funeral or being on the board of directors of a non-profit organization that helps kids in need, I like doing good works. Unfortunately, I don't know what I can do here, what they would be able to accept from us, and how it would be perceived.

My neighbours are good people. They are hard working, always up for a good laugh and a good time and would do anything for anybody. They don't deserve to lose their home that they worked so hard for because of short sighted big businesses and a downturn in the economy. I know it's the sad reality for thousands of families out there, but I just wish it could be different.

New Life

2009-01-16T19:03:00.000-08:00

My husband's coworker just had her first baby. He wasn't sure how far along she was, but he had noticed that she wasn't at work a few days ago. Then he heard she had been admitted to hospital and would remain there until after the birth. He was concerned about her, but we kind of had it as a passing worry. Whatever the problem was had been caught, it was being dealt with, and she was in a very good hospital. We are definitely hope for the best type people.

Her tiny, new girl was born yesterday weighing 1 pound, 9 ounces.

She was kicking and crying and sounds like a feisty wee child. Now our passing worry is real worry, and all we can do is hope and pray and send them as much optimism as we can that she, and they, will all be fine.

2KOOL4ME

2009-01-14T07:53:00.001-08:00

Since moving to our new city (I really have to stop calling it "our new city", we've been here for almost a year and a half), I have noticed that a lot more people have opted for vanity license plates than where we used to live. I can't drive two blocks down the road without being confronted with someones whimsical take on their life (not to mention the whimsical take on spelling). "HUKAPELE," "MY CARR2," "PRNCEZZ," "YW84L8R" have all shared the road with me lately.

I am a fairly reticient person by nature. Unless you know me really well I'm not likely to put my life out there for you to see. Even my appearance is fairly reticient. I look kind of like a librarian, and then I chose a profession that is kind of librarian-ish, so people tend to have a preconcieved notion about my personality. Which explains why people are always shocked when I tell a dirty joke. Or maybe I just tell very shocking dirty jokes, it's hard to say.

My point is, I am probably the very last person in the world to ever get a vanity plate. I can't think of anything more mortifying than checking into a hotel and when they ask the license plate of my vehicle, having to mumble "2CUTE4U" or some such nonsense. I just can't contemplate why someone would want to put themselves out there, in a position where they sound faintly ridiculous whenever they are asked their license number.

The reason that this whole post came up is because while I thought I had seen it all in terms of the vanity plate, I saw the same one a couple of times over the past few days that has completely outdone all of the others: "YUMY MUMY." Really? That's what you went with? That was the license plate that spoke to you? Now, I didn't get a good look at the occupent of the gigantic SUV that was sporting this plate, so I can't tell you if the mummy was indeed yummy. I was under the impression that the yumminess of mummies was kind of subjective anyway, so I'm not sure how it was determined that this driver was indeed the yummiest mummy of all, and had been chosen to proclaim it to the world via her license plate.

I guess one has to admire her cajones to put that opinion out there. After all, society is merciless to the physical image of women, and I can't imagine how it would feel to loudly proclaim the "YUMY MUMY" license plate to the hotel clerk or the mechanic and have them shoot back a "Whatever" look. I feel like she's put herself out there for intense scrutiny and/or ridicule. (Both of which I've kind of done here, although it's more at the idea of the license plate rather than her physical appearance. She could indeed be the yummiest mummy to walk the earth. I don't know.) Mostly I wonder why someone would put themselves out there like that.

Weekend Shenanigans (or Lack Thereof)

2009-01-12T08:23:00.001-08:00

We were on Flu Watch 2009 all weekend, but seemed to have escaped unscathed. Having said that, of course, we will all be sick before the day is out, I'm sure.

On Saturday none of us actually left the house. I mean, we didn't even go outside to shovel the driveway or anything (it's just going to snow more, so who cares? Well, the old guy across the street does, apparently. Why does every neighbourhood have an old guy that barely stops short of vacuuming his lawn in the summer and shovels right down to the concrete in the winter?) It was nice to have the four of us tucked inside, keeping an eye out for the flu and just being together. Ummm....so maybe we did have a bit too much company over Christmas. We've now gone the other direction and are erstwhile hermits.

One of the TV channels was playing the original Star Wars movies each night this weekend, so my husband and I watched them. He commented on how it was nice to be married to someone who would watch Star Wars with him. I replied that it was because we only watched them once every decade or so, and neither of us were at the point where we could quote the movies line by line, so I felt it was safe to spend a weekend enjoying them. Plus, I think it might be safe to say that I was the only person of our generation who couldn't remember how Return of the Jedi ended, so it was a nice surprise ending for me. Oh Darth Vader, you and your warm, fuzzy heart.

Ummm...we can, however, quote lines from Band of Brothers. I guess that makes us military history geeks as opposed to science fiction geeks. I'm not sure if there is a firm line differentiating the two, but I like to think there is.

We are experiencing Extreme Cold right now (according to the weather channel) and we can't stop looking around in amazement. It's around -12*C or so. These people in this province really have no idea what cold is. Where we used to live, people would start saying it felt kind of cold out around -40*C or so. -12*C is a balmy winter day out there. Anyway, we laugh (not right AT them , of course) at the poor, hapless Easterners and their thoughts of cold weather, and try to spend the time outside enjoying all of the tobogganing that a slightly hilly-er province has to offer.

That being said, we just got back in from a trip to the park, and I am about to go and warm up some homemade soup and homemade buns for lunch (see, I told you I was getting the hang of this Stay at Home gig!).

2009

2009-01-06T11:36:00.000-08:00

2008 has come and gone, and with it the last of our Christmas house guests as well. We had what I like to call "three waves" of guests come to stay, thus leaving us with only one night out of fourteen as just the four of us. I'm not complaining (much), as it was fantastic to have everyone here for Christmas, everyone had fun and got along, and much yummy food was prepared and enjoyed, but I must say that I feel incredibly relieved now that we are back to four again for the foreseeable future.

Not that being back to the four of us seems to be slowing down our plans any. With school starting back up yesterday, so has everyone's activities. Some of the kids around here are in every activity known to man, it seems, and their lives are scheduled so that they are eating bagel bites in the car on their way to the next commitment. We have consciously tried to keep things very low key here, so as not to drive anyone (namely me) insane with the schedule. My daughter is in Brownies and swimming, and my son is in gymnastics and swimming. For me, swimming lessons are a given, as I think it is a valuable life skill. And yet, even with these few activities, I feel like it is hard to fit everything into the week. I would also really like to get the kids in music lessons of some sort. Both have shown a love of, and affinity for, music, so it would be nice to see them learn a few skills. But I think that will have to wait until next year.

I am back to volunteering at the school library, but in another twist, yesterday I applied for three jobs. One of them I am really hoping I get, as it is permanent part time, 20 hours a week (three days), and it would fit in so well with school and childcare schedules. The other two are both temporary full time (one until the end of March, one until the end of May), that would be slightly harder to juggle childcare around, but would be great experience. I am looking forward to getting back into the whole work-thing, although I realized the other day that I am finally comfortable being a stay at home Mom. Too funny. Just as my seven+ years at home are starting to draw to a close, I realize that I am actually quite happy with where I have landed in life so far. I spent a lot of time feeling vaguely dissatisfied with being at home (something to do with the fact that when people asked me what I did and I said that I stay at home, they generally quickly lost interest in speaking to me and wandered away to talk to someone with a "real job.") and now I realize that my whole family (me, my husband and my children) all benefited so much from me begin home. My husband could do his job and not have to worry about things at home, as he knew that I would be taking care of things. (Well, except for one incredibly memorable explosive puke episode when I had to call my husband home to help me clean up child and crib in the middle of the night. So. Much. Puke. And it's a testament to my husband that he stood there in his uniform mopping out the crib. Now that I think about it, he was probably just happy it was the puke of somebody he knew for a change.) My children did not have to worry about waking up at ungodly hours to get to daycare on time or that they would only see us at supper and bedtime.

Staying at home has worked out well for me, and us, in the end. I just wish I hadn't taken so long to enjoy it and to stop thinking about what I was missing by not being in the "real" workforce. I hope that I can transition into the working world as smoothly as I can, and that the effect on us as a family will be as small as possible. Because family really is first for me.

Cleaning Elf

2008-12-17T18:08:00.001-08:00

Am I the only person on the planet with a seven year old who avoids bedtime by cleaning her brother's room? This morning I went into his room to get his clothes and noticed that, once again, the cleaning elf had made a visit. She tiptoes in once he is asleep, tucks him in with his stuffed animals, then busies herself about the room tidying, organizing and putting away. All of it is done as quietly as a mouse, so that we can't hear her from below.

I should really be more annoyed that she is not asleep, but his room looks fantastic.

Pleasant Surprise and More Clinics

2008-12-15T09:16:00.000-08:00

The quick version of how the office Christmas party went was that it was quite pleasant, The kids coloured and danced to the band they had hired (actually, they were the only kids dancing or even really paying attention that there was a band there. Tough room.) My husband knew a few people from sight, but not really enough to have a big chat with, so we mostly mingled with each other. We did have a nice chat with the band during their intermission, though.

The "Santa" was fantastic, with a beautiful outfit and amazing magic tricks. He read a story and was incredibly pleasant. I'm thinking they won't be letting him retire any time soon. It was the first time my son went to see Santa voluntarily (up until now he was much too apprehensive, and we weren't going to force the issue). Then my son looked out over the parking lot for awhile before turning to us and asking us how Santa got there, as he didn't see his sleigh. Because it's on the roof, I said. My daughter is starting to get quite suspicious of the existence of Santa, and I think this will be the last year that we can pull it off with her.

As we got in our car to leave my daughter suddenly said, "I saw a boy from my class at the party." Ummm....what? Yeah, she said, he was getting his present from Santa. This is quite a development, because all of the people that work there live in various cities throughout the area. To have anyone in the same city, let alone the same neighbourhood, is quite rare. But apparently it has happened. It would have been nice to meet the parents at the party, but I'm sure our paths will cross again.

Today I was back at the walk-in with my son, whose chest infection does not seem to have been cured despite a week of antibiotics. He was sent for more xrays, so that is how our morning went. At some point I would really like to get a few things done before everyone descends on us for Christmas, but I'd rather have a few things ignored and a healthy son on Christmas morning. We do have sugar cookie plans for this afternoon.

Speaking of which, I had better get going. Those cookies won't make themselves!

Christmas Past and Present

2008-12-14T07:15:00.001-08:00

We didn't quite get Family Fun Night on Friday after all. Instead, my daughter and I sat at the walk-in clinic for three and a half hours waiting to get her ear looked at. I have to say I have never waited that long at the walk-in before. At one point I realized that I went to the hospital and gave birth to my daughter (and my son, come to think of it) in less time than we sat there. I flew to Manitoba last month in less time than we sat there.

After our less than three minute appointment, we headed to the pharmacy with our new prescription to fight the ear infection. I'm not sure if you're keeping track, but that now makes three out of four members of our family on antibiotics. And my husband really should be on them, as he has the same horrible cough that my son and I have. My kitchen counter is now looking suspiciously like a small pharmacy (I would say "drug peddling den," but I can't imagine that there is much use for peddled antibiotics even in the sordid underworld). The good news is that we should all mend before Christmas if all goes well.

Today we are going to a party that has me a bit apprehensive. It is the children's Christmas party for my husband's office. Normally that would be great, but it is for the entire building (about 200 employees). The thing is, no one else in the section my husband works in has kids that are Christmas party appropriate age. Which means that none of them will be there. Which means that not even my husband will know anybody there. So we are looking at three hours of mingling with people we don't know and will never be friends with, because everyone lives in different cities and no one socializes. To top it off, the section he does work in is having a kind of holiday get together today in a different town, the opposite direction of where we're going, but we don't think kids are invited. Plus some people in his section live about two hours away from where that party is going to be, so they won't be going.

This is just really, really weird to me. Where we lived before, everyone lived in the same town and we knew everyone at every party. While we had a lot of friends outside of work that kept us sane, (and a lot of people don't, but the company has always struck me as a bit too xenophobic at times) most of our social events were with coworkers. Someone would have a house party and everyone, even people who were working, would stop by. All of the kids knew each other. Everyone would show up for the Christmas parties, and I still have a scar on my leg from an unfortunate "falling off of the deck into a gas meter and a pile of snow" incident. Did I mention it was -20*C and I was in my swimsuit? Ahem. I should mention that by this point my kids were safely ensconced in their beds with a babysitter standing guard (thought I should add that, as the Internet does love to judge).

My point is that, when we had a party, it was a Party. Everyone knew everybody and we could relax completely and enjoy each others' company. Yeah, there was shop talk, but it was always of the most hilarious and dark humoured variety. I have never laughed so inappropriately in my life.

Here, well, here everyone is very politically correct. No one socializes after work or on weekends. Everyone drives to the office, does their eight hours and drives home again. Many have never worked outside of this type of situation during their entire careers. I have met about four of my husband's coworkers only because I had to pick him up from work one day. We are getting used to our neighbours being our friends and work being, well, work. And while we love our life where we are now living and hope to stay for several years, and while my husband finds his job interesting (if not quite as entertaining as it used to be), I still sometimes find myself longing for a return to life where work was also family.

And so, we are headed to this "work" party today, where we will know no one instead of everyone. And while some might find that a challenge worth taking on, I have never been much of a joiner. My daughter is definitely not, and my son is kind of scared of Santa (who will be making an appearance). Not really the best recipe for Christmas party success. The good news is that there will be some kind of band performing, and my son, well, he's never met a type of music that he hasn't had to immediately dance to. But we'll make the effort, and hopefully we'll be pleasantly surprised. And if not, well, then we can throw a party next year at our house and try and instill a little fun into work.

Alone Time, Family Time

2008-12-12T06:58:00.001-08:00

I never realized how much I enjoyed the two or three days a week I was getting to myself now that my youngest is in Kindergarten. That is, until we spent 8 straight days together being sick. Like most almost-five year olds, my son does sick in a way that makes it hard to explain to people that he is sick. "Yes," I'll say, as he bounces off the walls, "He is too sick to play today. Sorry."

He is still coughing quite a bit, but he went back to school yesterday. Luckily they had indoor recesses for the most part, so he didn't cough too much from the cold air. He was tired, though, by the end of the day. I was waiting all day to get a call from the school saying he was sick and to pick him up. Right at lunch time my phone rang. "Oh, no." I thought. Cautiously answering it, I discovered that it was, indeed, the school. "Oh, no." I thought. (At this point, in the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you that I was actually thinking something along the lines of "Oh, crap" as opposed to "oh, no.")

The secretary then tells me that she has my son with her. "Oh, no." I thought. Then she tells me that he dropped his lunch on floor and could I possibly bring him another one? "Yay!" I thought, "I still have a few more precious hours to get errands done without a sidekick." I went to the school to drop off his new lunch, and the first child I saw when I walked in the door was my daughter (there are about 600 kids in the school, so the odds of it being her walking past the door right then are fairly slim). I got to give both of them some mid-day hugs and kisses, which is always a mood booster.

Today I am going to spend my alone time mailing out the Christmas cards, getting groceries and then doing a bit of pre-emptive Christmas baking. Truth be told I actually really enjoy having my sidekick along for the ride, but it is nice to be able to dash from place to place on a whim.

And tonight is Family Fun Night, which this week consists of us introducing the kids to the classic Christmas movie "Elf." I can't wait for them to see it. Last week we watched "A Christmas Story," which my daughter loved, but the other day my son said, "I don't ever want to see that movie with Ralphie again." He gets really disturbed by bullies (which I had forgotten were in the movie), and also, it turns out, by people getting their tongues stuck to flagpoles. Needless to say, I think "Elf" will go down a bit better.

Pneumonia

2008-12-09T06:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I decided that my son and I had been coughing for ten days, and it was time to stop by the walk-in on our way to get groceries. My daughter had the same cold and coughed for three weeks, but I never took her in, as it never sounded like it got in her chest at all.

We got to the walk-in only to be greeted with about 12 people in line in front of us. Because I didn't think we were that sick, I almost turned around and went to get the groceries instead. We stuck it out, and went in to see the Dr. He was very nice, and immediately diagnosed my son with pneumonia, sent us for chest xrays, ordered various medicines, and told us to go to our family Dr. today, no exceptions. Also, we were to immediately head to the ER if there were any breathing difficulties.

Needless to say, we didn't get the grocery shopping done.

He couldn't hear pneumonia in me, but prescribed antibiotics, as my son and I have the exact same illness, and the chances that it was about to manifest itself in me were high. Because we also both have asthma, we got some sparkly new inhalers, too. We headed over to the xray lab, where it turns out that when the Dr. has written "stat" on the request form, you get squeezed in before their lunch break.

I felt kind of bad that I had almost turned away from the walk-in, when it turns out that my son was legitimately ill (I was thinking maybe some bronchitis, but not pneumonia). The Dr. and everyone else we have met in the past day have been taking it quite seriously, because about a month or two ago a four year old girl in our city died from pneumonia. Kind of unusual in this day and age (at least where we live). I know my son is going to be fine, but it is a bit disconcerting when Drs. and nurses are so serious and ordering "stat" things. Isn't that just something to make the tv shows more interesting?

My son's energy level is quite high, but any kind of activity sends him into a coughing fit, so I kept him home from school today. We bought new markers and we are going to spend the day colouring and probably watching a movie at some point. He has always refused medicine, so getting him to take thick, gooey medicine twice a day is not going so well. He takes it, though, which is a miracle in itself. I, of course, am quite stoic, and have managed to take my medicine without crying. Although, those pills are big, yo.

The good news is that we have decorated for Christmas, my cards are almost done, and everyone is in fairly good spirits. My in-laws are coming to stay tomorrow night, so hopefully they don't mind if the house is less pristine than usual (and I use the term "pristine" loosely). The best news is that we should be recovered before the holidays.

Flights and Flu, Too!

2008-11-30T18:48:00.000-08:00

We managed to surpass ourselves this time in trip overlaps. I flew off to the great west on Thursday evening, thinking that details would have to be ironed out about my husband's upcoming trip to the far east, but that it would all work out. Was I wrong.

Late on Thursday night, I called my husband to touch base and let him know I was safely at our friend's house. He then informed me that the funeral he had to go to was going to be on Monday morning, and that his brothers were flying out on Saturday afternoon (It is a very long trip. They would arrive at their destination around 11 at night, and then still have a six hour drive to do the next day). We thought that he would not be able to attend as there seemed no way for me to get back in time for him to leave. He also informed me that my daughter had thrown up 4 times already that night (totally unexpected onslaught of the flu).

Early Friday morning I got things in motion, and by 9:30am had everything arranged. Our friends that lived a couple of hours away from us would come in on Saturday morning to watch the kids, my husband would fly away that afternoon, and I changed my flight to come home Sunday afternoon instead of Monday afternoon. It meant that I had one less day to visit my relatives and also got the benefit of paying through the nose to change my flight, but we did manage to get him where he needed to go. Unfortunately he caught my daughter's flu, but it didn't manifest itself until he was in the air over the Maritimes, thus providing him (and likely the rest of the passengers) with a rather unfortunate flight.

Where we stand now is me back home early with my kids (lovely to see them and full of hugs, but kind of wish I was still having one more day not being "in charge"), my husband away with his family, and my daughter over her flu. Do you see where this weekend actually worked out really well for me? That would be the part where I was away during the two days of puking and did not have to deal with any cleanup whatsoever (although I do feel bad about not being there for the soothing words and hugs).

Once again we have managed to delicately orchestrate our own personal gong show. It seems to be our own special talent. But everything worked out, everyone is where they need to be, I have the best friends in the entire world, and it's almost the magical month of December.

Travel Shenanigans

2008-11-27T08:50:00.001-08:00

You know, my husband and I are kind of homebodies. We love to travel and experience new things, but time and finances (or lack of both things) tends to keep us closer to home. Luckily, we are also quite happy to be at home, the four of us in a cosy heap on the couch. This being said, it always surprises me how much we end up being away, and when we do take a trip, how often they end up overlapping. We have been known to trade off the kids in the airport before, as one of us arrives home and the other flies away.

Needless to say, it has happened again. I am flying to visit a family member tonight, who, although in no imminent danger of leaving the physical world, has become imperative to visit while she still knows who I am. Then, early this week, we got the news that my husband's Grandfather is about to shuffle off this mortal coil. He is well into his last 48 hours, according to guesstimates, so the family is starting to gather. We will get the sad news soon, and then my husband will spend part of his weekend alone with the kids planning his own trip to the far east. Likely he will be flying east as soon as I have returned from the west. Hopefully we can manage to trade parenting responsibilities in our home instead of an airport this time. Have I mentioned before that Canada can be a bit too big at times?

Despite all of this flitting off we are about to do (although neither trip is really flit-worthy), I have a feeling that we would both rather be cosied up with the kids for the weekend on our customary heap on the couch or the floor. I know that I would. Despite the lure of seeing some good friends during my upcoming trip, I must confess that my 30s have ended up with me being rather fearful of flying. My sense of mortality has set in, and all I can think of is leaving my kids without a mother and my husband without a wife. I get panicky, and tend to choose my airplane seat with a good line to escape routes. I would rather not slip the bonds of earth, and definitely don't want to touch the face of God (at least at this moment in time). I would prefer to remain firmly rooted on the ground close to my family that I love so very much. I am already counting the hours until I return to them, and I haven't even packed yet.

Head Colds and PA Days go Hand in Hand

2008-11-21T06:40:00.001-08:00

Today is a PA day, so the munchkins are home with me. In a nice twist of fate, we all have colds at the moment, so that's nice. My daughter had hers a couple of weeks ago, and is suffering from the three or so weeks of coughing that seem to accompany this particular strain, while my son and I just got to the stuffy head, runny nose part the other day. He is a "suffer in silence" kind of boy, meaning he won't take medicine of any kind. I did recently get him to lick a Tylenol Meltaway a few weeks ago, but I don't think it Meltaway-d enough to actually absorb into his body. Instead of filling cough/cold/ every other type of medicine for kids with sugar and "flavour" in an attempt to make it more palatable, they should really introduce a colourless, flavourless one that I could add to his milk, water or juice.

We're taking it easy this morning. All of us are still in jammies. I have a parent-teacher interview for my son just after 1pm, today, so my friend and I are doing the whole switcharoo with her kids and my kids, as her interview is just before mine. There didn't end up being time between for travelling, so we are meeting at the school with all of the kids and then taking turns supervising them at the playground while we meet with the teacher. I'm not anticipating any big shake-ups at the meeting. My son is a big rule follower, so he does well in a structured school setting. This, of course, delights his teachers, and it is always better to have a delighted teacher than an undelighted one, in my personal experience.

My daughter's interview will be in a couple of weeks, and it will be interesting to hear what the teacher has to say. I think my daughter has finally found a teacher that not only gets what my daughter is about, but also knows how to work with her constructively so that everyone reaches the desired results. Partly, too, I think that finally being in the same school for more than a year has helped my daughter settle down a bit. There was so much change and upheaval during her short school career, that I think just being in the same building for more than ten months has been helpful. She has had a chance to make friends that she won't have to leave right away.

I'm heading back to my old stomping grounds next week, sort of unexpectedly. I am visiting a family member who is not doing very well. My Mom is coming, too, but because we live in different cities, I am ending up getting there the night before her and staying a night longer. This means that I will get to visit with a few friends as well, which makes the trip a bit cheerier. I love living where I do now, and I can't see moving from here for a long time, but it is always nice to hear excitement in old friend's voices when I tell them I am coming to visit. Canada is so big that friends and family tend to get spread out over the years, making visits sometimes next to impossible. It is always exciting to be able to reconnect, even if only for a day or two.

Well, I see by my clock that we should really think about getting out of our jammies and doing something halfway productive before lunch. I think I will take some more medicine, personally. That seems like a big enough goal for now!

Warm Winter Wonderland

2008-11-17T06:28:00.001-08:00

It snowed here last night. We had snow last week, too, although it was the type that melted by lunchtime. Today it felt a little more substantial, although I think this snow might not last either. But it is supposed to snow more today and then again later this week.

Being a recent import into this province, I find it bizarre that we aren't far into snow fort territory by this time of year. It's very odd to be walking around in mid-November in my shoes with no toque on my head. I was happy today when I saw that it was sunny and snowy outside. The kids and I walked to school in full regalia and, as a consequence, we almost melted into puddles. It is hard to know what to wear when there is snow on the ground and a warm sun overhead.

On the way home from dropping off my daughter, my son and I stopped by the creek we always walk over. We made snowballs and dropped them up creek of the culvert, then raced to the other side to watch them come out the other side. It was like Canadian Pooh Sticks. It is a beautiful early winter day, and laughing and playing with my son in the warm sun and the wet, cold snow made me realize again how lucky I am to be able to have this time at home with my children before they are big.

November 11th

2008-11-10T06:27:00.000-08:00

Here in my new home province Remembrance Day is not a stat holiday. I didn't realize this last year, as the 11th fell on a Sunday, so everyone was home anyway. But this year, while some businesses are closed (ie City Hall), most things are open, including school. Even the garbage is still being collected. Whatever would we do without that for one day. I was especially surprised to hear that, while one of my relatives has a day off for Remembrance Day, it is today (the 10th) instead, so that they could all have a long weekend! Talk about missing the point entirely.

I was really shocked when I heard this, and immediately googled this to see what was up, which led me to the good people of Wikipedia, which in turn led to the discovery that Remembrance Day is a stat holiday in every province and territory in Canada except for Ontario and Quebec. Hmm. This does not sit well with me at all. There is a reason that we have Remembrance Day, and it is not so that our kids can have a 30 minute assembly with the requisite short drama piece and moving musical number. It not an antiquated holiday to remember those diminishing numbers of veterans from the great wars.

To me, Rememberance Day is for reflecting and taking a pause from our everyday lives to remember not only the veterans of yore, but those of today. To remember my friend that got back from his tour of Afghanistan this past September. To remember his friends that did not come home on the plane with him, but came earlier, draped in a flag. To remember all of our soldiers who have fought or are fighting to keep the world at peace. In our family, we also remember the peace officers who have lost their lives at work. Six months after my husband started his job, one of his coworkers died while at work. It was exactly one week after Remembrance Day, so November is always a month that gives me pause and often brings me to tears for what was and what might have been. Rest in Peace, Pete. We will always remember you.

I have always lived in a province where Remembrance Day is revered. Maybe some people use the day to get the extra sleep they miss during the week and don't give veterans a single thought, but with nothing being open, no stores, no businesses, it forces people to take a day to be alone with themselves, to not be distracted by everyday life. In our family, of course, we always participated in the ceremony, followed by the infamous lunch at the Legion. Actually, in our old town we also had a A.N.A.F., so they alternated years, chili at the Legion one year, clam chowder at the A.N.A.F the following year. A sombre ceremony, followed by a hearty lunch, followed still by the hilarious stories about those who have passed us by and gone on ahead.

Tomorrow while my children's school is having it's requisite 30 minute assembly to honour the dead, my children will be with my husband and I at the real ceremony. They will see the veterans march, they will hear the words spoken, the prayers invoked. They will thrill to the Last Post and Reveille. And they will take time to reflect, to think about their daddy's coworkers and all others who face danger in their lives, in the name of keeping peace.

We will Remember.

Love Letters

2008-10-28T06:41:00.000-07:00

My world lately has revolved around love letters. I have been receiving upwards of four or more per day, all professing love for me in both words and pictures (mainly hearts of all sizes, shapes and colours). Yesterday was a banner day, where I received a love letter approximately every half hour. When I responded with one of my own, it was immediately answered with four more.

It is my son who is keeping me well stocked with love, making sure that my heart is full and my fridge is covered. I'm discovering that the love of a boy for his Mom is overwhelming. We spend our days together cuddling and snuggling and talking and drawing. We play games and he always gets sad if I don't win, because he doesn't want me to feel bad about losing. He can play happily on his own for hours, but there is always a point in each day where it is "time for some love" and a snuggle. We cuddle up on the couch and watch tv, just happy to feel each other's warmth.

It is quite the love affair we have going on. I understand the important place that I hold in his life. Boys, it seems, are not shy with their love for their moms. He still wants a big hug and kiss as he lines up for school, even if all his friends are watching. When I show up after school he runs to me for a hug before careening away with his friends. We hold hands wherever we go. We have smoochies. We have quiet times. The love between us is huge and heartfelt. We simply can't do without each other for very long.

I know that this will change. There will soon be no more kisses at the school door, no running to me at the end of the day. Soon he will be too busy with his friends and his solo life. I will be relegated to an observer status, making sure that he gets home safely, keeping track of where is he going and what he is doing. We won't hold hands at the store anymore.

But the love will still be there. Harder to see overtly, perhaps, but still huge and overwhelming. And hopefully when he is a great big boy, we will still be able to lean up against each other on the couch and enjoy the closeness, the warmth that we have for each other.

For now, though, I will accept every love letter that he gives me, and keep them safe in the drawer and in my heart.

Update

2008-09-18T07:24:00.000-07:00

I went for the run. It was a very short run, but I didn't completely hate it. I did hate the burning in my lungs because I couldn't find my inhaler before I left. Hence the shortened distance. I will likely go again, once I have found my inhaler and can bring some water with me, too.

This afternoon I'm going to an aquafit class called Absolutely Abs. I did aquafit back where we used to live, and I really enjoyed it. Just me, my friend and 15 elderly women. Yeah, that's the speed of exercise I can really get behind! Anyway, I figure something with the word "abs" right in the title is probably a bit more intensive. I think I'll check out the times the lap pool is open, as well. I might as well take advantage of this period between having the kids in school all day and not having an outside job, to get some quality "me" time in. I've never really had "me" time.

Right now, however, I am going to go and fold laundry. Whee!

Stupid Health Benefits

2008-09-16T07:18:00.001-07:00

I'm not sure what's wrong with me, but I have a sudden overpowering urge to go for a run. I think the last time I went for a run, it was because I was being graded for it in a gym class.

I have been kind of unhappy about my appearance for a couple of years now. There's just a little too much padding in some places. I would really like to fix this before it becomes a bigger problem than I can tackle. Unfortunately, despite my best efforts, it appears that I really will have to get up off the couch if I want to see any change. Stupid exercise. That might not be the best mantra to take into this journey with me, but exercise is stupid. And it works. I am going to try a bit of running (ugh), and a lot of swimming (yay!) and see where that takes me. The kids and I already walk to school (3km round trip), which actually makes 6km for me as I walk there and back twice in a day. I know that we will walk a bit less once the weather gets wet, windy and slushy, though, so I need to have some back up plan.

Anyway, I better get out for that run now while I still feel like going.

Go Team Go!

2008-09-14T17:44:00.000-07:00

We ended up with free pre-season tickets to our local hockey team's recent games. We went to two games this weekend, and they couldn't have been more different.

On Friday night the four of us went to the game, and our team was clearly playing some sort of grudge match with the opponents. From the first drop of the puck there was hard hits, all out punching, and very little quality hockey being played. The puck went into the stands from wild shots four times. It was a bit of a mess, and sad to say, our team lost. My husband and I spent a lot of time looking at each other over the kids' heads and hoping they weren't noticing the brawls taking place every few minutes.

Yesterday my husband left on a course for a week, so it was just the kids and I for the game this afternoon. It was like night and day. There was not one single fight, not even any particularly hard hits, and just lots of really good hockey being played. There were tons of plays and set ups and good passing, so many that sometimes the audience would burst into applause even when the play didn't lead to a goal being scored. It was just good hockey, and everyone was enjoying being there. There were plenty of goals to keep us cheering as well, and our team ended up winning 7-5. We were very often down by one or tied, and each time we scored to bring it even or pull a bit ahead the crowd went crazy.

I am not much of a hockey fan. I'm the type who will watch only the very last game in the Stanley Cup final, and that's not even a certainty. I am enjoying the OHL hockey, though. The kids out there are talented (their next step is the NHL if they're lucky), and the hockey is more about the game, not the showmanship that can appear on the television. Having seen two dramatically different games this weekend, I can also now tell you with certainty which style I prefer. Give me a good clean hockey game any day. I like a game where I can enjoy the skill and talent that the players possess, and cheer on both sides for good efforts, instead of cringing when a fistfight breaks out in front of my kids.

Oops...I did it again

2008-09-08T06:15:00.001-07:00

For a few minutes there I thought I was really good at updating my blog. Turns out it was an anomaly.

The kids are both back in school now, so the job hunt is becoming more of a reality. I actually bought some printer paper and ink cartridges for the printer, and now I am polishing up my resume. Because there aren't a lot of casual/part-time jobs advertised in the field I am in, I am going to drop resumes off at 14 or 15 places and see if that leads to anything. It can't hurt to try, and if anything, they'll have my resume on file in case anything opens up in the future.

School seems to have started off well. Both kids like their teachers, so that is an important issue out of the way. And even better, my husband I and both like their teachers, so hopefully things will run smoothly for everyone. I am going to volunteer again at the library. The librarian at their school is a wonderful person as well as a great resource in finding out how the kids are doing, as the parent-teacher interviews are few and far between.

I am having a Tupperware party this Thursday, which keeps making me laugh. I'm not really a Tupperware Party kind of person. I had a party several years ago for a friend who was just starting off in the business, but that is about the extent of it. How I fell into this one is a bit different. I dropped a Tupperware pitcher I had and phoned the 1-800 number to get a replacement. They directed me to a salesperson here in the city and it is here the saga starts. This salesperson started selling Tupperware four years before I was born. She is, in a word, persuasive. And kind of scary. Anyway, she just kind of assumed I would have a party, and I was too scared to say no. She also assumed that I would start selling Tupperware, but she assumed wrong that time. I managed to find enough guts to say it really isn't my bag. I worry that she will be pushing the issue on Thursday. I do know that I hope my friends can handle the hard-sell approach or else they will be walking out of here on Thursday night with hundreds of dollars of Tupperware wondering what just happened to them. It will be nice to have the neighbours over, though, and get to know some of them better. I was pleased to discover that I actually knew enough people in town to have a party at all, and they'll be pleased to discover that I am a firm believer that wine makes a Tupperware party even better.

My new town has a very "green" vibe about it, and it is turning me into a raging hippie. Yesterday I canned salsa for the first time, and today I think I will make pickles. Man, I move across the country and suddenly I'm Caroline Ingalls. This town is scary, yo.

Bored

2008-08-21T08:17:00.000-07:00

A job! A job at the place where I want to work the most! Unfortunately, it's the head banana job, and I don't have anywhere near the qualifications to do it. But what I'm hoping is that the next in line person applies for and gets the job and then everyone moves up to the next rung, thus leaving a little opening near the bottom that I can slip into. As you can see, my career aspirations are not huge! I don't think that I would ever want to be the head person in my field, as that is really an admin. position and I like being more hands on with the records.

In other news. My career as a cruise director is not really taking off either. I don't like trying to think of interesting things to do with the kids on these long summer days. My poor kids had the misfortune of being born to a Mom who likes to curl up with a good book for a few days at a time. After lunch, though, we are headed to a splash pad near the house. My husband worked 15 hours yesterday and might be again today, so we are really on our own here right now. And I'm bored! And the kids are bored! And they wouldn't be bored if I could think of something for them to do, but I really feel like finishing my book instead! Sigh.

Speaking of the kids, one of them has been standing here for two minutes talking in my ear without stopping, so I guess this entry is over!

I'm Still Laughing

2008-08-19T05:58:00.000-07:00

I bought this for my friends' new baby:

http://clothing.cafepress.com/item/duck-duck-goose-infant-bodysuit/223696521

Because how could I not?

Hiking, Jobs, Comics, oh my

2008-08-18T04:32:00.000-07:00

It's a vicious cycle. The more I don't blog, the more I have to blog about and the less I end up blogging, because there is too much to say.

We have had a very busy summer, busier than I thought it would be, actually, between visiting people and having visitors. This past weekend was our first weekend in almost six weeks where it was just the four of us with no plans. We had thought about going to a sort of amusement-type park on Saturday, but the kids were so tired from their week at camp, and our daughter didn't want to leave the city at all. I ended up taking her to a matinee while my husband took our son mini-golfing.

Yesterday we went to one of several conservation areas nearby and took the kids hiking. We went on two trails. One was 1.5km and the other was 2.5km and went over some really rough terrain (mossy rocks and tree roots, mostly). They did great and we all had a lot of fun. I forgot how much we like hiking. We're looking forward to going out again soon.

I had my job interview a couple of weeks ago. I did not end up getting the job, but I did find out that 125 people applied for the position, and I was one of only about ten or so that got an interview. I decided that was pretty good for my first time out in eight years. In retrospect, I am glad I didn't get the position, even though the work itself was exactly what I was looking for. The commute was about 40 minutes one way, and I really didn't want the 40 hours a week thing at the moment. I have decided to try some cold calling and send resumes out to various institutions in the area, looking for some casual or part time work. I don't know if anything will come of it, but it can't hurt to try. Maybe this way I will find something that is a little closer to home that works better with the daycare options we have.

Of course, wouldn't you know that the same day that I find out about not getting the job my son got into Big Daycare Centre that he was on the waiting list for? I ended up having to say no and putting him to the back of the wait list, because we hardly had $500 per month to have him in daycare when I didn't even have a job or any prospects. Frustrating. Luckily my friend has stepped into the breach and agreed to take my son on part time in her home daycare, if and when I get a job. I am going to put both kids on the wait list for the after school program at Big Daycare Centre for next year when they will both be in school full time and I can reasonably expect to have a job of some sort.

In completely unrelated news...I am really sick of For Better or For Worse. Man, that comic has gotten on my last nerve lately. I used to love it, but ever since Liz got back together with Anthony, I have been waiting for Warren to sweep her off to the middle east where they could live a life of adventure. But no, she has decided to settle down and live the life her parents already lead. And now Grandpa has fallen ill, just moments before the wedding, as if we all didn't see that coming. Sigh. The whole strip has turned into a series of badly contrived puns. And yes, I am fully aware that the people in it are fictional, I am just disappointed that Lynn Johnston has given up on trying to make the strip at all interesting.

Stupid, Annoying Day (with one good part)

2008-07-23T12:19:00.000-07:00

Basically...it's society....

Just kidding. That's what my husband and I would say when we were mocking the other people taking psych. classes with him in university (you know which students I'm talking about. Yeah, those ones.)

Anyway, what I was about to say was: basically it's been an unremarkable, bordering on irritating, day. I have been mildly annoyed at my youngest all day, and in fact have dubbed him Whiny McWhinerson. My oldest and I have voted the youngest off the island today (which apparently you can't actually do. You have to continue to care for them, even when they're being grating. This is when they get lunches that we call the Legally Required By Law lunch. As in, they get lunch, it usually has at least one food group in it, but we haven't put much love into it. It's just there. Eat it or don't.)

Then a person I was supposed to meet up with for a brief transaction (Wow. Sounds like something illicit, but was actually Tupperware. That's how exciting I am) didn't bother to show and didn't leave any message. Irritating, as I had both kids in tow.

Then I got a message from someone that served to remind me that they never listen to a word my husband or I say. The message also served to change our eagerly anticipated plans for the weekend somewhat, which has me annoyed. But I'm more annoyed at the not listening thing. Grr.

Then I got another phone call which was kind of exciting. I got a job interview for the first job I have applied for in 7 years! I was kind of thinking I would at least get an interview as I have every qualification they are looking for, but it is still nice (and totally scary) to get a call. Now I need to find something to wear. Seven years as a stay at home Mom hasn't left me much in the way of classy pants. And by "classy" I mean something other than jeans. I have some time to prepare for the job interview. The most scary part is if I actually get the job. The whole next year will be a huge adjustment. Don't get me wrong, I am so ready to get back to work, but it is scary to think of daycare and juggling work and home and all those fun things. Yikes.

Well, I have taken too much of a break now. I'm off to fold laundry because I'm wild and crazy like that.

Dog Days of Summer

2008-07-21T10:10:00.000-07:00

Uhh...whoops....so much for my stellar June posting records. I have completely fallen off the blogging wagon again. I guess that's a good thing, as it means I've been too busy doing things to write. And this will be short, as I seem to be referring for my kids fights right now as well! Oh the joys of a Monday...

We went on vacation soon after my last post. It was a great trip. Three days in the car there, five days visiting friends and four days in the car back (we went more slowly on the way back). The kids were fantastic in the car, not a fight and barely a peep out of them. They each had a little tote filled with activity books, paper, pens, etc. and that seemed to keep them both going. It was the most pleasant road trip we've had with them. They are always great on road trips, but this time seemed extra great.

We loved seeing our friends, and it made us realize how much we miss having a little circle of good friends to hang out with on the deck or go to the beach with. But we are starting to meet people here, and the drinks on the deck will come. We got to go to our favourite beach one last time, and to our great joy, several of our friends took the day off work and joined us out there for one last beach party. We were pretty tickled that they wanted to spend time with us, although I have a feeling that the draw of a beach on a hot sunny day might have had something to do with everyone missing work so readily!

Once we got back home my husband went back to work and I was faced with the entire summer with the kids. The first thing I did was to sign them up last minute for swimming lessons, which has gotten us all up and out of the house by 8:30 every morning. That ends this week (it was every morning for two weeks), and then we are headed up to the in-laws cabin for a few days. Next week the kids and I are taking the train out to where my parents live (about a six hour trip including a train change in Toronto. What was I thinking??). We'll spend a few days there and then we are going to meet my husband halfway back home for a camping weekend. After that there is only a week to go before the kids are in camp for a week (it's just a day camp. I can't imagine a time when they will be old enough to go to overnight camp). Once camp is over then there are only two weeks until school starts again! It turns out that this summer is flying by.

I applied for a job last week. It is the perfect position for me, except that it is full time and comes with a 35 minute commute. I was hoping for part time in the city. But it is only a year long post (likely a mat. leave), so I would be able to re-evaluate next summer and find something that will be easier so far as child care goes. My son is still part time at school this fall, so he needs to be watched every other day, and both kids need to be watched after school. I have my son on a waiting list, but they are 18 months long here, and he has only been on it since January. I have a friend that does day care, and she said that we can probably work something out while we wait for him to get in at the other centre. My husband will be able to tweak his schedule a bit in order to pick them up after school a few days a week. Hopefully everything works out (if I get the job, I mean!) I have never had to consider day care before, so it is a bit overwhelming trying to figure out how we can make everything work. ow you can see why I was hoping for a part time job. I was kind of hoping to ease back into the workforce (having been out of it for 7 years) rather than dive in head first. Anyway, this upcoming year might be very hectic for us. If I don't get the job, then I am hoping to find something part time somewhere. The good news is we only have one more year until both kids are in school every day, so that's not too far off.

Well, there seems to be a break in the rain we've been having for a few days, so I should get the kids outside for a bit. Of course, now they have stopped fighting and are playing a dress up game of some sort. All I know is that my kid is really cute dressed up like a dinosaur.

The Busy Contest

2008-06-19T06:41:00.001-07:00

Back in university I had a friend that regularly engaged in what I called the Busy Contest. When we would meet up I would say something along the lines of, "Wow, I have a history paper due tomorrow and a geology test next week and I have to work all weekend." Invariably he would counter with all of the things he had to do and how Much More Busy he was than I could ever possibly be with my sad, un-busy life. He was the Busy Queen! Once I finally realized that he had to constantly win the busy war, I stop playing. I would just say, "Eh, I'm not doing too much these days." That must have frustrated him (although he probably didn't notice as he was Much Too Busy).

Anyway, today and for the rest of the week, I feel like I am competing for the Busy Queen title. I just feel like I have so much to accomplish before we head away next week. I feel like I am the only person in the world who has so much to do and is so busy at the end of the school year and who has ever had to pack for a cross-country road trip with two kids while also cleaning the house, buying numerous gifts (why was everyone in my family born in June?), getting all the laundry done, returning library books, etc. etc. I feel like my university friend, trying to win the Busy Olympics.

And yet, I know that everyone else is just as busy as I am, and in fact probably more busy, because I at least have the small-ish luxury of not having a paying job (although not having a paying job definitely cuts down on luxuries), therefore awarding me several daytime hours in which to accomplish my errands. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need to stop competing in the Busy Contest and just get everything done without dwelling on how much there is to do.

Starting Now.

Sod n' Horses

2008-06-16T11:35:00.000-07:00

I seem to be settling back into my blog here, although I think I will still make one more change in the future. I would like to get the past four years of my archives back together with what I'm writing now.

We had an eventful weekend here. On Saturday we unexpectedly got some sod for the back yard and installed it. I think we are the only people who can see some sod on sale at Cdn. Tire and decide spur of the moment to pick some up and start leveling the backyard. To be fair, it wasn't for a very large part of the yard, just the part where the previous owners had decided to dig up a 'garden' and throw in a bunch of plants in order to sell the house faster. The plants have long since been dug up and we were just faced with a gooey clay and rock mixture (I will never get used to the crappy soil out here!) that seemed a bit daunting to seed. Luckily we ran across the sod and now we have a lovely insta-yard back there. It almost looks like a backyard now!

On Sunday we drove out to a town close to here to see the Musical Ride. We have a friend from back west who has been on the ride for two years now, and consequently we haven't seen her for two years. She was there yesterday, so we got to have a great visit with her and meet her very friendly horse. The kids had a great time watching the show and hanging out in the stables. My daughter is now very enamoured about being in the ride, but we mentioned that she would actually have to be a police officer too, and she seemed to reconsider. Our son is now trying to figure out how to be both a police officer and a firefighter. There was one glitch to the whole day, though, as one rider was thrown from her horse during the show and was taken away by ambulance. She didn't move for a very long time, and it took quite awhile for them to get her in the ambulance. The show finished without her, but it was a bit lackluster as everyone on the ride was obviously concerned. Last we heard she will be fine, so that is good news all around.

We got back around supper time, and I was sunburned as usual. I am getting the weirdest tan this year, because I am not used to the UV being quite so high out here and either forget sunscreen or apply it haphazardly and as a result have weird tan/burn/pale white patches. I really have to work on evening up whatever is going on back there (it's mostly my back as I can't reach it very well.)

We're leaving for vacation in 12 days, although I'm not sure my husband actually has the time off approved yet. Hope so, otherwise it will be a very long and annoying drive across the country for me! We're headed back "home" for one more visit, and then we're going to stick closer to our new "home" in the next few years. The kids are getting more settled now, and I think one trip back to see friends will help them, with the transition.

Speaking of kids, my son and I better get going if we're going to make it to school on time to pick up his sister!

Keeping Up With the Joneses

2008-06-11T17:51:00.000-07:00

Through no fault of my own, I am slowly becoming a hippie. I blame my new hometown. There are little bylaws and policies in place that creep up on you, make you have to sort your garbage a certain way, grow this type of plant or that, and suddenly there you are: environmentally aware. This new mindset just grows and spreads until suddenly you notice every single little thing in your life that could use a little environmental tweaking. Because you know what? Why wouldn't we get a rain barrel? All of those hundreds of litres of water pouring off our rooftop and onto our driveway and into the stormdrain just don't make sense. We can use that water for the gardens, the lawn, and everywhere else that needs water when the watering bans take effect during the long hot summer.

Why wouldn't we stop using plastic bottles when they are clearly bad for us and for the environment? Why wouldn't we start hanging out our clothes to dry on lines instead of using the dryer? Let's make every day Earth Day. It doesn't help that the kids are completely indoctrinated at school. My kids think nothing of picking up someone else's nasty discarded bottle or wrapper and carrying it for over a kilometre until they can find a garbage can because they abhor littering (okay, I'm actually pretty proud of them for that, I mean, they are only 4 and 6).

So here I am, in my hippie, laid-back new town, being forced to become more aware of the earth and our place on it. This is not a bad thing, of course, and I was hardly a big energy-wasting litterbug before we moved here, but it does take more work to keep up with the Joneses here, because the Joneses are setting the standards really high.

Your Light Eclipsed the Moon Tonight

2008-06-09T06:31:00.000-07:00

I went to the REM concert last night!!!!!

I have now seen them twice, and I can honestly say that they just put on a fabulous show every single time. Michael Stipe is just the right combination of rocker/diva/friendly chatty guy and the rest of the band is just so tight. You can tell that they honestly love to be out performing, and that love is infectious over the crowd. It doesn't hurt that their music is also so incredibly likable, and that their new album hearkens back to their early days of Monster and New Adventures in Hi Fi. What an amazing night. I will see them again, that is for sure.

I have been an REM fan since I met my husband (huge fan), although I had heard and appreciated some of their music before I met him without realizing that I was listening to REM (you know, like Stand). Anyway, I became a huge fan, especially of their album Automatic for the People. I love, love, love Nightswimming, and Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite, Everybody Hurts etc. etc. Of course these are songs that rarely make the live set list (well, except for Everybody Hurts). One song that I was never a fan of was What's the Frequency, Kenneth? I don't know, the song never really did it for me, and it was just one of those songs that everyone knew, fan or not (I'm sounding snobbish, I know). But when we saw them live in 2004, they did What's the Frequency, Kenneth? during their encore, and holy crap does that song ever rock out live. Unbelievable. It was a huge highlight of the concert, and made me a fan of a song I had previously dismissed. I was definitely looking forward to hearing it again, and it was third on the play list last night. I'm still mildly annoyed for liking it, though. Stupid REM winning me over...

Of course, every fairy tale rock concert story has it's end of the ball, and that is exactly what we discovered at 5:45am this morning when everyone was up for the day. SIGH. It's now 9:30am, and I feel like it must be close to lunch time. It is unbelievably humid and hot here today, so outdoor activities will be shortish. I have to go and buy some water bottles for the kids, partly because we really don't have anything suitable, and partly because they will apparently die if we keep using the plastic ones (although apparently we are using ones that aren't AS bad as some of them.) Either way, the ones we use now just don't hold enough water as we need for these scorcher days, so off to the store we go.

Remember when our moms would give us raw hot dogs for a snack? It's a wonder any of us lived to grow up.

Rain, Libraries and Magnum P.I.--More in Common Than You Would Think

2008-06-04T06:27:00.000-07:00

It has been raining or about to rain for two days now. I don't know about the rest of you, but cloudy days make me want to curl up in a ball somewhere. Clearly, I'm a person who needs their Vitamin D in large, sunny doses. The house is a bit of a disaster, and I really want to get it cleaned up today, as it turns out my husband won't be away for two weeks after all. He's coming home today! Yippee! Except for the house cleaning part...

I also have to go to the library. Even when I know the library books are overdue, I still look at them and think, eh, what's one more day? I like to think that I am contributing to a new wing of the public library. One that they will name after me, as I will have singlehandedly paid for it with my overdue fees.

My son is wearing the most impossibly tight shorts today. Ignoring the fact that it is not really shorts weather (see rain, above), and ignoring the fact that his shorts are a blue Hawaiian beach print and his shirt is a red-striped Ernie-esque t-shirt, and that he is wearing socks with cars on them, yes ignoring all of those glaringly colourful features, the main problem is that his shorts are so tight that Tom Selleck himself would envy them. I'm talking Magnum P.I. tight, these shorts. Horrifically tight.

Which could be another reason why I'm postponing the library trip...

Blargh

2008-06-01T17:46:00.000-07:00

I wish whoever left this huge bag of cotton in my head would come and get it.

If it isn't already Murphy's Law that the Mom should come down with a huge head cold/flu-type thing the day the Dad leaves on a two week long business trip, it should be.

Well, I see by the clock on the wall that it is almost 9pm. Sounds like bedtime to me...

So I Talked to Cyndi Lauper Today...

2008-05-30T18:07:00.000-07:00

Not really. But my son thinks I did. This morning while my kids and I were listening to the radio "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" came on. Being a product of the 80s, I immediately called my daughter over to hear it. I looked over and saw my son in tears, burying himself under the covers. When I asked him what was wrong, he wanted to know why the girl couldn't be singing "Girls and Boys Just Wanna Have Fun." He then asked me if I could phone the girl and ask her to change the song. I said of course I would, thinking the matter closed.

After school, he asked me on the walk home if I had talked to the girl about the song. I said I had. My daughter asked how I found her phone number, and I said the Internet. I told him that the girl said that the song was written a long time ago, so she wasn't going to be changing the words to it now, and he seemed fairly appeased by it.

Last Tuesday was my son's first soccer practice. He was so excited, and looked so cute in his huge uniform. Two things happened at practice that made me laugh. The first was when the coach had them all doing a Red LIght, Green Light kind of exercise, in which the kids kicked their soccer balls around when he said "go" and stopped them with their foot when he blew the whistle. It wasn't an organized thing, kids were milling around in every direction as they practiced kicking. Part way through the exercise we notice our son go up to the coach, poke him in the arm and say "I won." I guess he thought that first one to the coach was the winner.

The second thing that was funny was that while he was playing goal, he stopped a ball with his bum. He was so impressed with himself that he kept saying "Did you SEE that? I stopped the ball with my bum!" Two tiny girls on his team were beside him saying, "How did you DO that?" He answered, "I don't know!" And they were all thrilled. It's going to be an entertaining season.

My May Update

2008-05-22T20:22:00.000-07:00

You know, I was actually joking when I made the title of my last post My April Update. I was mocking myself for my lack of blogging and for posting only once a month. I had the best intentions for trying to keep up with more regular posts, but here I am on May 22nd, writing My May Update. Sigh.

With the snow now well and truly gone, we have been able to take stock of our yard. Shockingly, the six feet of snow that had been sitting on it for a good part of March did not seem to improve the state of our lawn at all. It is weedy, patchy, grubby, and has about half an inch of topsoil before it turns to a love clay-rock mixture. I am used to topsoil as far down as I need to dig, so this whole 'infill housing development' thing is a bit challenging. I think we are going to need it to be re-sodded, actually, because the old owners didn't do anything so far as maintenance, and over half of the yard is weeds.

One thing we did accomplish this month was building a deck. It is absolutely great. Of course, it has been too cold, rainy and windy since we built it to actually use it, but it does look quite nice from my kitchen door. We are looking forward to many barbeques out there this summer. And it also distracts people from looking at the state of our lawn, so the yard is looking nicer than it has since we bought the house.

There are only five weeks of school left for this year, which I find incredible. I can't believe that the kids are almost finished their first year of school in our new city. I guess I'll have to stop calling it our 'new city' soon! Both of them have done quite well, and have really matured in their own ways. My daughter, especially, has come a long way from where she started at the beginning of the year. My son loves school and loves his teacher. I am proud of both of them for how much they have accomplished this year. It has not been an easy year for either of them, and they have come through admirably. I am raising two terrific kids!

My job prospects are still on hold, as I am in daycare-limbo. Hopefully my son gets into daycare for the fall so that I can look for a job (to pay for the daycare. haha!). I have been looking online and have found 16 archives that are within 20 minutes of my house. Surely one of them is looking for some part time help. I really hope that things fall into place for us in the fall and I can start the next phase of my life. I have loved that I was able to stay home with the kids for as long as I did. I think they really benefited from being at home, but at the same time, I have been ready to go back to an outside job for a couple of years now. Because the transfer was in limbo for two years and now the daycare issue, I haven't been able to go back as soon as I wanted to. I think it has worked out, though, as I think my son really needed me home for a bit longer. Now that he is used to being away all day for school, I think he will be okay to transition to daycare.

We have a busy summer planned. We're headed back to our old home the day after school ends for a vacation and to see everyone. It will be nice to take the kids back one more time, so they can see that things are the same there and that everyone remembers them. My son has already planned lunch at his favourite Chinese food restaurant. After we get back we will settle in to doing all the fun summer activities. The kids and I will be home during the week, and I have big plans to do lots of bike riding, skipping and other 'old fashioned' kid activities. We're going low-tech this summer, and working on the basics, that is, having fun exploring and playing. I did sign both kids up for camp for one week during the summer. They are both going to day camps, my daughter to a science camp and my son to an activity camp.

Since my last paragraph my husband has come home from a business trip, I folded the laundry and went to bed. Now I'm awake and starting it all over again! I will try to update more often, but I really have been spending time wondering about my blog. I looked back over the past four years of keeping it, and it really seems to have changed from recording my thoughts and opinions to more of a recoding of the daily mundane. So I'm not sure exactly what to do and I might just start over again from fresh once I can figure out some more direction. I really wish I hadn't accidentally made my old blog available to people I didn't want to find it, thus necessitating erasing it from the web. I saved all of the entries, and I will likely put it all up once my new place is in place. (Whenever that may be!). Until then, I hope that everyone has a wonderful spring and summer.

Talk to you soon.

My April Update

2008-04-12T19:09:00.001-07:00

Last weekend I went back to where we were living before we moved here and had a girls' weekend with some of my closest friends. I didn't get much sleep, but did I ever have an amazing time. I only wish that I had had about one more day, as I was kept pretty busy and didn't get to spend as much time with some people as I wanted to. Luckily I did get to spend some time with a few of my closest friends, had some great meals and hospitality and laughed until I cried. Which makes me think that the weekend was a success!

One thing the weekend made me realize is how much I miss my friends and what good friends I made while we lived out there. I guess when you're in the middle of living your life, you kind of start taking your friends for granted. It doesn't matter if you don't catch up with them in person for a few weeks because you'll always see them at the store or at school or church or wherever. There is always someone to run into on the street. Being away from everyone for 8 months, though, I realized how much I wish I could randomly run into someone I know when I'm out doing errands. It's comforting, living in a small town where, in that good old "Cheers" fashion: everybody knows your name.

I am starting to meet people here, though. We are starting to be invited to people's houses and we are inviting them back. Because the size of the city is so much greater than where we came from, I have to begin to realize that our friends are more than likely going to be people we meet in the neighbourhood, not all the way across town, because the reality is that we aren't going to ever be over there to meet anyone! Luckily we seem to have moved into a great neighbourhood, and now that the snow is gone, the kids are really starting to come out onto their driveways and lawns, and I can see a very busy and fun spring and summer on the horizon socializing with everyone.

I guess I feel a little morose thinking that friends here won't ever be as close as friends there, but then, I knew most of the people back there for 7 years, so obviously it's going to take more than 8 months to feel completely at home! Either way, I had a great trip back home (although 'home' doesn't quite feel like the right word anymore), and I can't wait to go back in July to visit everyone again, this time dragging my family behind me! And I can't wait for my friends to be able to come and visit us out here. There is so much to do and to see, that I would love to share it with those who are close to me.

This weekend ended up different and quieter than I was expecting. My husband had a train ticket to go out to the nation's capital this morning to pick up my parent's car (that we are buying). His train was at 10am. He had to be at the train station around 9:30, so we had to leave just after 9am to get there on time. He came and woke up my daughter and I around 8:30am, and I said "why don't you take her with you?" I asked her if she wanted to go on the train (for the first time) and then stay the night at Grandma's, and she was out of bed and dressed almost before she had finished nodding yes. So the two of them set off on a cross-province adventure, and I spent the day with my son. He had a friend from school come over (his first play date!) in the afternoon, so I had two hours to myself to read and stare into space while they played downstairs. Then he and I had supper, got our Jammie's on and watched a movie, then had a big snuggle before bed.

It was great that both my husband and I got to spend some quality one-on-one time with the kids. It doesn't happen often, and it was nice to do for a change. I do know that we have to let my son go on the train soon, though, as he was really upset when it left without him at the station. He had never seen a train up close before, and he was pretty impressed.

The other night my daughter's class performed The Hustle at a school fundraiser, and I have to say they brought the house down as only six year olds doing disco can. I'm not sure where my daughter learned the Nixon peace sign look, though, but that's what she sported on her way off of the stage. She said it was just a peace sign, but it was eerily reminiscent of Watergate, so I'm not sure what she's been watching on TV. No more White House documentaries for her! he he.

Alrighty, that's it for me. Why is it I stay up so late on the nights where I have to get up in the morning and care for two kids, but on the nights where I don't have to get up and I have only one kid, I'm falling asleep by 9:30? Not fair! I can't stay up even if I want too! Sigh. On that note, I'm off to bed.

Spring Break

2008-03-26T11:45:00.000-07:00

Sigh. I promised to be a better blogger, didn't I? Less than a week after my last post, our world turned upside down for awhile, and there was nothing I could blog about. Luckily things are now upside right again and our life is back to normal. This means that I could write again, but the one problem with our life being normal is that there isn't much blog fodder.

We have all adjusted really well to our new life here in our new home. I can't believe that we have been here for 7 months now. It still feels like we just got here, but it also feels like it's been home for a long time. There are definitely things I still miss abou tour old city: our huge yards, our circle of friends and acquaintances, knowing how everything worked. But we are meeting new people here, we have lots of places to explore (not our tiny yard, though!), and we feel very comfortable. I am looking forward to spending several years enjoying the city and area.

The one thing that I am not enjoying is the endless and unrelenting SNOW we have had this winter. It just. keeps. snowing. My (tiny) front yard still has three feet of snow on it (plus snowbanks), and the huge amount of snow is keeping the temperatures way down. It definitely does not feel like we are a week into spring already.

My Mom came down to visit and she provided the much needed motivation to finish unpacking everything in the basement (or as I was calling it: The Huge Storage Room). Now that everything has a place in the house and there are no more boxes hanging around I have to say that I feel more settled. Now we can focus on the little projects that we have going on in the house, without having the basement disaster looming over us all of the time.

One exciting thing that I did was purchase downhill skis. I call them my pretty, pretty skis. I also got some kick-ass boots, too. My husband and I have taken up downhill skiing now that we have two hills within a 20 minute drive. We are enjoying it immensely, and we are going to get the kids out next year for lessons. My husband got to go on a boys' ski trip to the States a few weeks ago, and I hope that in the next few years we can arrange a family ski trip, too.

This isn't too exciting or interesting, I just wanted to let you know that I was still alive and kicking. I'm glad that things here are back to a new normal. We had a few crazy weeks, and I have to say that I enjoy calm routine better!

They Must be Giant (Sausages)

2008-02-16T13:29:00.000-08:00

Let's call my daughter's teacher Mrs. Smith. Trust me, it's best if real names don't get out on this one.

My six year old daughter has a spelling test every Friday. She then has to think up sentences using words from that week's spelling list and then illustrate the sentences she has written. Follow me? Yeah, it's pretty straightforward.

Last week my daughter came home with her little booklet of sentences and illustrations. Everything seemed inocuous until I got to the third page, which declared: "Mrs. Smith has a giant sausage in her desk!" It was accompanied by a picture of Mrs. Smith with her mouth in a big, round "O", looking askance at a huge pink sausage in her desk.

Something tells me that one might have gotten passed around the staff room.

The Tooth Fairy Cometh

2008-02-03T17:43:00.000-08:00

This afternoon my daughter seemed to be taking a long time in the bathroom staring at herself in the mirror. I asked her what was up, and she said she had something in her mouth, a bump or something. I peeked in, expecting to see a wonky vein under her tongue or something, and was most surprised to see a permanent tooth poking through her gums!

The reason it was a surprise is because she hasn't actually lost any of her baby teeth yet, nor are any imminently wiggly. This new tooth has sprouted behind her baby teeth. Of course, at first glance it led me to think that we are going to be in for a world of braces, etc. (something new as neither my husband nor I needed them), but I assured her that it was normal and we continued our day, although with me sneaking down the stairs and Googling away.

It turns out it is normal, if not frequent. The opinions seem to be divided on whether to let the baby teeth fall out on their own or to get them pulled right away so that the new tooth has room to maneouver into the correct position. Some people advise going to teh dentist post-haste, while others warn to stay away from pull-happy dentists. I think that I will take a middle road that was suggested, and embark on a regime of firm wiggling of the baby teeth. Apparently firmly wiggling them several times a day can get them to loosen on their own if there are already new teeth showing through. We'll do that for a week or so, and if nothing has happened then we'll see a dentist and see what their suggestions are. The baby teeth are wiggly, but not very, so hopefully this course of action works. I really hate the thought of my daughter's first tooth loss to be at the hands of a dentist with tools. She has only had very good experiences with the dentist, so I don't want to change that.

Of course, having just moved, we don't have a dentist anymore. Sigh. Ours back home was so sweet and gentle and he sang in the choir with me. Ah, small town living...

I really shouldn't have expected anything less from my beautiful daughter. She didn't get her first tooth until she was 13 months old, and she tends to march to her own drummer with most aspects of her life. Apparently her teeth do too!

Oops..I Did It Again...I Ignored My Blog...Got Lost In A Fog...

2008-02-01T16:44:00.000-08:00

Hmmm... January 2008 seems to have gotten by without an update, so...ummm...Happy New Year! What? Too little, too late?

We left on vacation about a week or so after I last posted, and with the amount of travelling we seem to have done in the last month or so, we should open our own travel agency (or possibly airline). We had a great time with my family down in Florida over Christmas. The kids were understandably thrilled with Disney World and all it encompassed, but I think their favourite day might have been the day we spent boogie boarding on the beach. Too bad for my prairie-born, land-locked kids, because I think they are both surf bums at heart. Unfortunately for them, the next ocean they see will be the North Atlantic, and somehow I don't think that will quite have the same draw as the South Atlantic! We're also planning a trip back to Manitoba in June, but having seen the ocean now, I'm pretty sure we can't get away with telling them how big the waves are on Lake Manitoba.

Right after we got back from our vacation, my husband had to go away for a couple of days for a family funeral. As soon as he got back, I had the opportunity to fly across the country and visit my friend in Kelowna, so I jumped at that. She has a log cabin overlooking the lake, and I got to sleep in the loft every night, listening to the wood stove crackling below. Bliss. That, coupled with a great winery tour, made for a very nice long weekend.

Next week we are headed to the nation's capital for some Winterlude festivities. My daughter is righteously indignant about the lack of Festival du Voyageur in our new province, so we are hoping that Ottawa measures up! It will also be nice to visit with our family while we are there.

Almost as soon as we are back, my husband is headed back to MB for a work-related issue, then he comes home for a few days, goes on a week long course, and then a few days after that heads to Montana with some buddies for a ski trip.

Maybe I should call this a travelblog.

The weird thing about all of our travelling is that generally we are homebodies. I'm not sure why all of the trips we have taken in the past few years all seem to be taking place within the last couple of months, but there ya go.

We have been living here for 5 and a half months now. It feels like a lot longer, which I guess means that we are settling in well. Or it means that renovating the house is sucking the life out of us, and we can no longer keep track of time. We are slowly, slowly getting somewhere, and with our usual skill I'm sure we'll manage to get things just like we want them right when we have to move again. Having spent the past two years on tenterhooks waiting for a transfer, we are now in the (un)enviable position of yet again being somewhat unstable in the job department. We could be here for 18 months, 2-3 years, or longer. Kind of hard to settle in and put down some roots, let alone bother to make friends. Although, we seem to be doing all right in the friend department, so that is kind of nice. I kind of hate feeling like I never know where we are going to be next and when we are going to be there, but at the same time I look forward to the change it brings.

I have to say that I have spent the last few days laughing at the locals here (not directly at them, of course), and their fear of snow and cold. Back home school was finally cancelled, once the windchill hit -54. Here in our new town, school was cancelled today at a measley -3 with some steady snow. Wimps. If they cancelled school everytime it snowed in Manitoba no one there would get an education. I love my new town, but there really are some strange differences when it comes to the weather.

Just Say No

2007-12-10T20:19:00.000-08:00

I am totally stunned, although for some sad reason, I know I probably shouldn't be.

This evening I was talking to my neighbour and she told me that she was talking to her friend, a 4th grade teacher at my children's school (my neighbour's kids go to a different school). She was told by the teacher that apparently my kids' school is dealing with some drug problems right now. First, I was kind of shocked and then reasoned that it is a JK-8 school, so likely some of the older kids might be dabbling (and it also horrifies me that I thought that that seemed more reasonable somehow, like a 13 year old doing drugs is somehow more okay?).

Ah, I said, the older kids?

No, my friend replied, the grade five-six kids.

This shocked me. I guess I am still naive. I couldn't fathom what kind of drugs ten year olds could possibly have. Joints, apparently. At which point I said I was going to homeschool, because I know there are neither joints nor drug dealers in my house.

Of course I am not really going to pull out my wee kids and teach them at home (although the temptation has been there many times before, but I know that I could not do the job the justice it both requires and deserves). But I didn't realize that I was going to have to start in on the more hard core Just Say No messages quite as young as I apparently am going to have to. I was thinking grade 5 would be where we had the more serious conversations, but I guess I was off by a few years.

Sigh. I wish kids could just be kids for a bit longer than they are these days. My six year old came home a few weeks ago from school after watching the "Touching" video, and I had to ask for permission to kiss her little freckled nose for weeks. Now I have to think about telling her about her brain on drugs and help give her the tools to reject advances. I think we'll be able to wait a couple of years still, but we'll have to start with the subconscious stuff now, so that it is hardwired into her by the time it comes up. Most importantly, we will have to continue to foster a relationship with her that is based on mutual respect and let her know that she can always talk to us, and that we are always there for her. And her brother too, of course, although at age 3, I think we should be okay for a few years yet. I mean, he's only been potty-trained for a year! Surely we don't have to tell him to lay off the doobage quite yet!

Drugs are bad! Just say no!

Step By Step

2007-11-24T17:55:00.000-08:00

I think I am going to move blogs again. I feel like the title of this one has me living in the past, and I want to be able to look towards the future again. I'm going to think for awhile on what my new Internet home is going to be like and what I want to accomplish there, and then I will start afresh. But this time I will take more time and bring my archives from my old blog with me (three years of writing is a lot to move, so it feels a bit daunting right now). That way I will have the old me and the new me combined, and I will feel like it is more my space again. Then hopefully I will have less of the extremely sporadic posts since I have had from July onwards.

I guess since July I have been too busy living life to write about it. We sold our house, went shopping for a new one, bought a new one, packed up our lives and our kids, said goodbye to very important people on our life and then moved all within 4 weeks. Then we arrived in our new home, only to find it almost completely destroyed by the previous owners (sadly nothing legal we could catch them on, but we have spent upwards of $4k already trying to make the house livable again). So we have had unexpected home renos., plus settling the kids in a new school and a husband in a new job, actually two new jobs, as he did a temporary one for two months and then started his permanent temporary one last month (that actually makes sense to me, although I know it is appalling grammar), getting used to commuting, another province, trying to find extra-curriculars, health cards, etc. etc. etc. All of which has added up to me being extremely lax on my blog, and not having my head together long enough to sit and write.

All of which are excuses, and probably very rich blog fodder, but I haven't had time to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. I have lots to talk about, but no time to make it comprehensible at the moment.

I expect that I will continue on sporadically until I get my act together and find a new home on the web for me.

No

2007-11-06T11:16:00.000-08:00

It has not been long enough since my last post about this subject to be writing about it again. Another member of the RCMP was killed last night. Another person who will never return to his family. Only twenty years old, only with the force 6 months. Rest in Peace, Cst. Doug Scott.

I just wish it would stop.

November

2007-11-04T16:18:00.000-08:00

One thing I love about November is that many of my favourite bloggers do the NaBloMoPo (NaBloPoMo?), which means they write a post everyday for the month. I like having new content to read every day. Umm...don't expect that from me, however! If I ever have a spare five minutes again, I will set up the links page on my sidebar and then you, too, can read my favourite blogs.

Hallowe'en was great! My kids were a witch and a pirate. Pretty traditional costumes, and they looked super cute. We went the farthest we had ever walked before (about twenty-thirty houses), and they got quite the little haul. Of course, I am too mean to ever let them have a candy free-for-all, but they are happy to have a couple of pieces a day. At this rate we will have candy well into the Christmas season.

I am getting pretty excited about Christmas. This year we are doing a "And Now For Something Completely Different" kind of thing and going to Florida for the holidays. We rented a house with my parents and brother and we are headed down for 11 days of fun in the sun and Mickey ears. Plus family friends of ours are coming down the day after Christmas, so we will meet up with them as well and it should all be quite fun. It will be a lot different than the usual cold, prairie holiday, but we thought that something completely opposite from the usual might be the best way to start a new routine here. Not that we will go away every year, but that this can signify a break from our old tradition and then next year we can start over again with something new.

We are slowly, slowly getting the house organized. I thought it would take a few weeks, but with the amount of smoke and pet damage the previous owners left behind, we have been busy doing a lot more renovating than we ever thought we would have to do. Who knew that a four year old house could be a fixer-upper? We have painted ceilings and walls, replaced carpet, scrubbed every inch of house we could reach, and replaced all of the blinds. We have to paint and put the baseboards back on and paint the bathrooms and doors and that should be it for a little while. The house still smells a bit funky, though, and I am at a loss at what else we can do. The good news is that everything we do adds more value to the home. It must be the nature of the job, but lately I have realized that I am more preoccupied with what to do to the house to "stage" it or have it nice for resale than how to actually live in it. So I am trying to change that a bit and live in the now and not worry about moving until we actually move, which shouldn't be for a few years.

Well, the whole family seems to be doing some laundry beside me right now, so I had better join in!

I Smell a Rat (in Children's Clothing Design)

2007-10-23T11:51:00.001-07:00

This past week we realized that all of my son's pyjamas were almost up to his knees. Apparently he grew four inches without us noticing. Today I went to a big retail store to find him some new jammies. They had tons of cute boy jammies and it was hard to decide which ones to get. As I perused the rack, I noticed that they had Ratatouille pyjamas. Now, my son would have liked them, but the person who was made for Ratatouille jammies is my daughter. She LOVES rats and mice. They are her absolute favourite animals (although that love won't transfer into a pet for her any time soon!).

I knew she would love a new pair of rat pyjamas (rats as a theme is fairly hard to come by), so I went over to the girl side and began looking for the girl equivalent. There sure was a lot of pink and a lot of Dora and quite a bit of Barbie. No Ratatouille, though. And then I came across a few pairs of jammies that made my skin crawl. Cute, pink, the epitome of what a girly girl would like, with the phrase "Buy me something and I'll be nicer." And "I'm cute! Buy me something." And "I did it, but I'm blaming you." Oh My Freaking God. What the hell are manufacturers, stores and parents doing to this latest generation of girls? Who could possibly think that these are "funny" or "cute" or "harmless" little sayings? They promote lack of responsibility and an acute sense of materialism associated with behaviour. I felt sick. I left the area empty handed.

I would have bought my daughter the boy version of the Ratatouille pyjamas, but they were unmistakenly "boy" jammies in colour and style. She is still a bit of a girly girl at heart, and I didn't think it would be too much to ask to find rat jammies in pink or a softer blue or something. Sigh.

We've come a long way, baby?

Ennui and Moving Blues

2007-10-22T17:32:00.000-07:00

I've been lax with my blog ever since just before we moved. I guess that life has overtaken me, and I have been too busy to sit and write. I feel that I have been needing to write, though, because there are so many things happening in my mind at once that it would likely be very helpful if I could sit and filter through them here. One thing I have been struggling with is what I want from my blog. Do I want it to be an online journal, where I write about my thoughts and feelings and deepest emotions? Do I want it to be a lighthearted romp through the stay-at-home motherhood that is currently my life? Do I want readers? Or do I want it just for me? Do I write like no one is reading (to borrow and twist the "dance like no one is watching" quote).

I haven't got the big answers for that, and I'm not sure why. I used to blog fairly regularly, but I can't seem to keep it going anymore. It seemed that I had a bit of a purpose for writing when and what I did. Now I feel like I am struggling to find out what I want from my blog. I think that I need to move all of my archives here. Maybe having all of my "stuff" around me will make this new blog feel more like home. Last night I finally got my daughter's room completely finished while she was asleep (yes, my kids can sleep through me hammering things on the wall above their pillow), because I knew how great she would feel when she opened her eyes in the morning and saw all of her "stuff" around her. And she did feel great. She loved it. Maybe I feel like I haven't quite fully moved into my new blog yet. And that makes me feel uncomfortable and uncreative.

I'll keep thinking about what I want to do with this site. It may end up that I need to find a new place to ruminate and start afresh again, this time with archives intact. Time will tell.

Again

2007-10-08T13:37:00.000-07:00

Two and a half years ago, I wrote about this same topic. The senseless loss of a member (or in that case four members) of the RCMP. This time it was a member who seemed to be loved by everyone that ever had the privilege of crossing his path.

Again, I did not know him, but have friends that do and mourn with them.

Again, I have shed copious rivers of tears for the loss, for what it means for his family, friends and colleauges.

Again, I am sent back in time to when we lost Pete, and when we almost lost Mike only three months later. The tears run hot and fresh on my cheeks.

Again, I fear for the future of my own little family.

Again, I wonder why anyone would want to kill a Mountie, just by virtue of the wearing of the uniform.

A Mountie is a person, not an establishment.

A Mountie has family, friends, loved ones, hobbies, and interests, just like everyone else.

A Mountie has good days at work and bad days, just like everyone else.

A Mountie enjoys life, just like everyone else.

A Mountie pays bills and taxes, just like everyone else.

Rest in Peace, Cst. Chris Worden.

Rest in Peace, Cst. Robin Cameron, Cst. Marc Bourdages.

Rest in Peace, Cst. Peter Schiemann, Cst. Anthony Gordon, Cst. Leo Johnston, Cst. Brock Myrol.

Rest in Peace, Cst. Dennis Strongquill.

Rest in Peace, Cst. Peter Magdic.

Keep healing, Cst. Mike Templeton.

Too many times....

Colourwheel

2007-09-24T10:26:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to really appreciate my new hometown. The place that we moved to was one that many westerners view with suspicion or outright dislike, and it was easy to take these views with me when we packed up.

I am finding, though, that my fear of well, the east, was largly in vain. The people here are second to none in friendliness and helpfulness, and the scenery is starting to blow my mind. The clours here are starting to come out and it is such a treat to walk the kids to school everyday and see previously green maple trees now emblazoned with our national symbol. Leaves are shifting from a uniform green to greems, yellows, oranges and reds. There are purple and yellow flowers still blooming in the fields we walk through. Fall in my new home is a cacaphony of colour, a symphony of shades, a riot of reds.

It is beautiful and not what I imagined. It is so much more.

Facebook Gone Too Far

2007-09-22T07:02:00.000-07:00

My friend had an ass for a husband. She finally had enough and pulled the plug. In the past two days his Facebook account has gone from seeming desperate pleas to guilt tripping.

Has something gone horribly wrong with society when a person tries to woo back his love (or guilt her into changing her mind) in a very public forum?

Technology should not be for the brokenhearted. Or calculated-hearted, either.

Update

2007-09-18T07:41:00.000-07:00

I miss my old blog. I had it up and running since 2004. There was a nice fat archives to the side of it, and it was like an almost daily saga of my life. When I had to discontinue it due to stupidity, I think a lot of my ambition went into the delete button. And then I started reading a blog that is so beautifully written, with words so powerful and evocative, that anything I write immediately pales by comparison. So it's a case of writer's envy, no not envy, exactly, but wishing that I could express what I feel in a more descriptive and heartfelt way.

Both of my kids have started school for the year. My daughter is in Grade 1, and is reading chapter books at home and has words like "cat", "rat", etc. on her spelling list, so we'll see how that goes. She seems to be enjoying school (partly because it's quite easy, I think), although she detests recess. Luckily for us it seems to mostly be a case of having to change her shoes too many times a day, and not so much the social isolation and exclusion that so commonly accompanies recess. I'm sure it will change, girls being girls, but for now we're not too worried.

My son loves me. What can I say? He goes to school all day every other day. It is a long day for him, as he is only three years old, but managed to squeak into this school year on the basis of his New Year's Eve birthday. He absolutely screams when I leave him, today his teacher carried him bodily into the school while I walked away briskly under the baleful eyes of the rest of the mothers. I know, and his teacher knows, and my son knows, that he will be fine within two minutes of going into the school. The screaming upon parting is his modeus operandi to try and make me stay just a bit longer. The other twenty mothers do not know that though, and I both saw and felt their stares of condemnation as I walked away with looking back (because, duh, that's what you're supposed to do, unless anyone feels like spending the entire day in the Kindergarten room). I walked home with the one Mom who wasn't judging, and it felt so good not to have to slink away on my own. Safety in numbers!

This morning I volunteered in the library during my son's class. He was absolutely fine, participated well, sat quietly and managed to leave again with only a bit of clinging. I think from now on I will volunteer during my daughter's class, though, just so that my son doesn't have to say goodbye to me too many times per day.

School seems to be settling in, my husband's new job is going well, and we are getting used to a new routine. Although, it will be shaken up in a month or so when my husband goes back to shift work. I kind of wish that he had gone straight to shift work when we got here, instead of being teased for a couple of months of a "normal" schedule. Luckily we both enjoy shift work, because it actually gives us more time together as a family, even if it doesn't seem like it during the shifts themselves. He'll be doing a lot of overtime, but at the same time, he will be working seven days on, seven days off, and you can't ask for much more than a week off at a time.

Once the dust has settled and we are all firmly ensconced in our new routine, I will be able to try and find a casual job in my field! Hopefully there are a few out there for me to find. It's a bit scary thinking about getting back into the carrer field after so many years out of it, but I know it's something that I have to do. Both for me and for my family.

We love our new city, and we are having a lot of fun exploring. I am going to have a quick lunch of sorts and then get my grocery shopping done while I have NO kids to take with me. Then I will clean the house without any kids underfoot. It's weird how that is some sort of bliss.

Life is a Musical

2007-08-31T04:59:00.001-07:00

Wow. I can't believe how long it has been since I last wrote. To be fair, though, we are kind of busy!

Our move went extremely well. I think all of our long road trips with the kids paid off, because we didn't hear a peep from the backseat the entire drive. Well, we heard lots of peeps, but none of them were of the whiny, bored or angry variety. We had broken down last year and bought a portable DVD player for the car, but we also had a rule that they could only watch one movie per day. Seeing as each day's drive was about 14 hours long, they spent a lot more time watching the topography of Canada change as we went from west to east. It was a beautiful drive and everything went quite smoothly.

We spent a couple of days at my in-laws cabin which was nice, although not as restful as I had hoped. I really just wanted to get to our new house and finish the move. We left a day early, and it's a good thing we did, as the house (perfectly clean when we viewed it in July) turned out to have been owned by heavy smoking, two dogs and one cat owners with an aversion to vacuums. My husband and his brother then spent 17 hours before the movers arrived painting the main level to get rid of the yellowed ceiling and smelly walls (in a four year old house! It still boggles my mind.) So we had a slight setback, but all of our things arrived on time with only two items broken (one replaceable, one not so much).

We are all moved in now, and we are still planning on painting the entire upstairs as well, but we decided to just get settled first and then pick colours. Our downstairs is all a light beige. We were in such a rush that we just painted the most neutral we could and can always add accent walls, etc. later. We are probably going to replace the carpets upstairs as well, as I don't think any amount of steam cleaning is going to get the smoky, cat-ness out of it. We certainly hadn't been expecting to have to do these things, and it was kind of hard trying to juggle two move-exhausted and mal-adjusted kids while we were at it.

But we are all settled in now, and almost everything is organized. The only thing I have had trouble with is changing over our license plates and licenses. I dragged the kids around for almost three hours the other day from bureau to bureau until we finally arrived at the right one (turn out the places called Driver and Vehicle Licensing won't actually give you either if you are moving from out of province. Fabulous.) I had all of the paperwork filled out at the correct place when she noticed that my old driver's license and my birth certificate had different surnames on them (because of getting married). She threw out all of the paperwork and told me that I needed to bring in my official marriage certificate. That wasn't really what I wanted to hear after having my two kids and I all sharing the same chair for twenty minutes in their waiting room, but you can't fight bureaucracy, so we left with nothing to show for our wait. I'll attempt it again next week. Luckily I remembered where my marriage certificate was.

Other than that slight glitch, we have found the people in our new town to be friendly, open and welcoming. It is not what I was expecting from this province (did I just give away where we moved too?), so it has been a pleasant surprise. It's almost like back home. The kids start school next week, and we have a nice twenty minute walk through conservation land to get to the school, so it is quite pleasant.

To end for today, I want to close with the immortal words of Annie: I think we're gonna like it here